Relationship
Preparation for your marriage ceremony
A wedding day is one that many dream of—a day filled with love, joy, and excitement as two people commit to a shared future. Yet, the importance of this day goes far beyond the flowers, the venue, or even the vows.
As thrilling as it may be, a wedding is the start of a lifelong journey, not a one-day event.
Before this life-changing commitment, pause. Reflect on your reasons for marrying. Ensure you’re as ready for the marriage as for the wedding. The ceremony is beautiful, but it’s just the beginning.
This chapter will outline steps to guide you. They will help you plan a wonderful wedding. They will also prepare you for your marriage and the adventure ahead.
With divorce rates high in many parts of the world, it’s more important than ever to make intentional and thoughtful preparations for marriage. These steps aim to show you the way. They cover your relationship from its start to the wedding and beyond.
Practical Steps for Preparing for Your Marriage and Wedding Day
Let’s break down preparing for marriage into actionable tips. They will assist both your wedding day and, more importantly, your future marriage.
- Clarify Your Personal Intentions and Expectations
Take the time to understand why you want to get married. Reflect on questions such as, “What does marriage mean to me?” and “What kind of partner do I want to be?”
Make sure your reasons for marriage go beyond a desire for companionship or society’s expectations. They should align with deeper values.
- Set Aside Time for Pre-Marital Counselling
Consider participating in pre-marital counselling sessions. As a marriage and family therapist, I know that counselling offers a safe space. It can help address conflicts, discuss family backgrounds, and develop key communication tools for the future.
- Communicate Openly About Expectations for Married Life
Discuss your expectations of your roles in the marriage. Talk about financial goals, family dynamics, and career aspirations. Also, consider other factors that could affect your relationship. Open communication helps prevent misunderstandings down the line. Clear communication today builds trust for tomorrow.
- Align Financial Goals and Habits
Talk about financial matters, including income, spending habits, saving strategies, and financial goals. Money issues often cause marital conflict. So, build transparency and teamwork in this area.
- Plan for Practicalities Together
Deliberate on living arrangements, daily routines, and other practical aspects of married life. Decide together how household responsibilities will be shared. These actionable conversations help establish routines and expectations that will benefit you both.
- Establish Boundaries with Extended Family Members
Define healthy boundaries for your interactions with family and their involvement in your lives. Setting boundaries early on will help prevent tension with in-laws or extended family, a common issue in marriage.
- Create a Shared Vision for the Future
Spend time talking about the vision you have for your life together. Develop a “relationship mission statement” that expresses your shared values, goals, and dreams. This vision will act as a strategic guide for your marriage. A strong marriage is built on a shared vision, not just shared experiences.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). ORDER BOOK NOW: https://selar.co/preparing-for-a-happy-and-fulfilling-marriage
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Long-distance relationships can be intimidating, but they do not have to be. Whether with friends or a romantic partner, distance does not need to define your relationship.
The most important part of maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship is remembering to prioritise your needs and boundaries. By keeping these tips in mind, managing a long-distance situation can be a positive experience for everyone involved.
- Set aside time for daily or weekly check-ins
By establishing regular times for communication from the get-go, you and your friend or partner will be on the same page about how often you expect to hear from one another. Also remember, keep in mind the quality of your conversations. If you are re often arguing or you finish the majority of your interactions feeling unsatisfied or unhappy, it is time to re-evaluate if the relationship is still a positive one.
- Write letter or send surprise care packages
Taking the time to exchange letters with your loved one is a special way to enhance your connection and provide comfort and support.
The time it takes to write and mail a letter demonstrates to your friend or partner that you want to go the extra mile to show them you are thinking about them.
- Try a weekly video call
Even if you feel nervous about the idea of facetime or having a video chat, this type of communication can make you feel a bit closer to your friend or partner.
Prioritise setting boundaries for yourself, and ask your partner about their boundaries as well. If you find that your partner is often pushing you to have a video call so they can see where you are, that could be a red flag.
- Make sure to ground yourself in your daily life
Sometimes in a long-distance relationship, it is easy to get wrapped up in thinking about how far away you are, how much you miss the person, and how tough it can be.
The best way to avoid feeling sad or worried is by being present in your life and with the people in it. Outside of your daily responsibilities, make sure to stay connected to the friends and family near you.
If you do not know many people where you are, the best way to do that is by joining a club, volunteering at a non-profit you are passionate about, or joining a sport or exercise class that you enjoy.
- Make plans for the next time you will see each other
One of the best ways to feel better about the distance is by planning a future trip and talking about all the fun things you can do together the next time you see each other in person.
Remember, only commit to what is feasible for you, and what will not detract from daily life.
As a seasoned marriage counsellor and mental health practitioner at Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC), I have seen countless couples struggle with the harsh reality of toxic relationships.
Love, once a beautiful flame that warmed their hearts, can morph into a destructive force that leaves emotional scars.
Therefore, recognising the signs of an unhealthy relationship is crucial to breaking free from its grip.
In a toxic relationship, control and manipulation can be subtle at first, but they can escalate into emotional abuse. When one partner dictates what the other wears, who they talk to, or what they do, it is a sign of control.
Emotional drain is another red flag– if interactions with your partner leave you feeling exhausted, anxious, or depressed, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship.
Gaslighting, a tactic where one partner denies previous agreements or conversations, making the other question their sanity, can be particularly insidious.
It is a form of psychological manipulation that can erode self-confidence and make it challenging to make decisions. Similarly, a lack of respect can be a significant issue in toxic relationships.
When boundaries are consistently disregarded or disrespected, it can lead to feelings of resentment and hurt.
Jealousy and possessiveness can also be warning signs. While some degree of jealousy can be normal, excessive possessiveness can be suffocating. It is essential to recognise the difference between healthy concern and unhealthy obsession.
The impact of toxic relationships on mental health cannot be overstated. The constant stress and pressure can lead to anxiety and depression. Being belittled or criticized can erode self-confidence, making it challenging to maintain a sense of identity. In extreme cases, toxic relationships can even lead to trauma, making it difficult to form healthy relationships in the future.
So, what can you do if you recognise these signs in your relationship? Seeking support from trusted friends, family, or therapists such as CPAC can be a crucial step.
Establishing clear boundaries and communicating them assertively can also help. Prioritising self-care and engaging in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul is essential.
Couples therapy can be beneficial, but it is crucial to approach it with caution – toxic partners may resist change.
Ultimately, love should uplift and inspire, not drain or control. Recognising the signs of an unhealthy relationship is the first step towards healing and growth. If you are struggling, do not hesitate to seek help. Take a moment to reflect on your relationship – do you feel valued and respected?
Are your boundaries honored? Do you feel happy and fulfilled? If your answers raise concerns, it is time to re-evaluate your relationship and prioritise your well-being. Remember, you deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “AVOID REGRETS IN MARRIAGE: How to Choose a Spouse” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Mental Health Professional, Lecturer, Published Author, and Marriage Counsellor).
ORDER BOOK NOW:
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
By Counselor Prince Offei
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