Obaa Yaa
He is too bossy
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM in a relationship with a man I love very much but he upsets me a lot with his bossy attitude.
He also expects me to come to his house to clean-up, wash and iron for him regularly.
When I fail to do so, sometimes he threatens to break-up with me, saying I am lazy.
The idea of marrying this man frightens me sometimes, or am I the one giving out wrong signals?
Abi, Dansoman.
Dear Abi,
ATTITUDES in a relationship are often set unconsciously before a couple marry. Greetings.
In marriages one tries to adjust and stop living the pretense, he or she disappoints the other partner, thus causing problems.
Your man must understand that marriage or a premarital relationship only works well on a foundation of mutual respect and partnership.
He, therefore, should show gratitude when you do him the favour of cleaning up for him. He has no right to throw a tantrum when you don’t, especially when he has not even married you.
What is really disturbing is the fact that he gives you the options to be a ‘good servant’ or lose him.
A relationship is not a ‘master and servant’ affair. You would be better off losing him than being in a relationship where your partner or spouse regards you only as a servant.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM a 32-year-old lady who got married two months ago. My husband had a female friend who was very supportive during our marriage.
I appreciate her care and support to my family but it seems she wants to try my patience. During our honeymoon, the lady kept calling my husband to check up on us and it was worse when we came back from honeymoon.
My husband’s attitude has changed drastically and sometimes I wonder if my husband knows I exist at all. I decided to have a talk with my husband about what was going on but he told me he doesn’t see anything wrong with that.
My marriage is just two months but I already have regrets. Obaa Yaa, please help me.
Nana Ama, Nungua.
Dear Ama,
MY dear, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It feels like you are hurt and betrayed by your husband’s behaviour and the woman’s interference in your marriage.
You deserve to be respected and prioritised in your marriage. It’s not ideal for your husband to be giving all his attention to someone else, especially a best friend who is a female.
Talk to your husband again, calmly and clearly, about how you’re feeling. If he still doesn’t listen or respect your views on the matter, then you have to reevaluate the marriage and prioritise your own happiness.
As for the woman, she’s not your problem. Focus on your own relationship and don’t let her actions dictate your emotions. You can’t control her behaviour, but you can control how you respond to it.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
