Obaa Yaa
My father claims he was cursed
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I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
Dear Obaa Yaa
Growing up, there was something that always made me happy and gave me hope about love.
Anytime my friends and I watched Nigerian movies and saw Omotola and Emeka Ike playing romantic roles, we would get excited and tell ourselves, we can’t wait to experience it ourselves.
Today, I am a married woman, but one thing keeps running through my mind whenever I remember those movies. My husband loves me dearly and is always all over me because he says he is attracted to my big breasts and curvy backside.
This has left me wondering if he truly loves me for who I am or if he is simply attracted to my physical appearance. The kind of love I admired growing up in those movies didn’t seem to depend on a woman’s body shape or size.
Obaa Yaa, based on my experience, does my husband truly love me?
Christy, Darkuman.
Dear Christi,
It is understandable why you are asking this question. Many of us grow up with stories and movies that portray love in a certain way, and when real life looks different, we naturally wonder if what we have is genuine.
From what you have shared, your husband’s attraction to your body does not automatically mean his feelings are only lust. In a healthy marriage, physical attraction is an important part of love. Many husbands openly admire their wives’ appearance, and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it can be a sign that he still finds you beautiful and desirable.
Movies often show a romantic version of love, but real marriages are built on friendship, trust, commitment, respect, sacrifice, emotional intimacy, and physical attraction. The strongest relationships combine all of these, not just one.
Instead of focusing only on what he says about your body, pay attention to how he consistently treats you. His actions over time will reveal whether his love is rooted only in attraction or in genuine commitment to you as his wife.
A loving marriage can include strong physical attraction. The key question is not whether your husband is attracted to you that is normal but whether he also values, respects, and cares for you as a whole person. Over time, those qualities are the clearest signs of lasting love.
