Obaa Yaa
My husband abandoned me after I lost my job
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married for the past eight years, and we have two children. My husband is a teacher and I am a Bank Manageress in one of the reputable banks.
Two years ago, I lost my job, and since then, my husband has changed towards me.
He constantly insults me and makes me feel useless because I am no longer financially contributing to the family.
When things were going on well, I was supporting my husband financially and taking care of the home without any negativity attached.
Things became worse when I discovered that he was cheating on me with another woman who was financially sound than I am. When I confronted him, he showed no remorse. A few weeks later, he packed his belongings and abandoned me and the children.
Now I am struggling to take care of the children. My family is advising me to divorce him, while his family wants me to remain in the marriage.
Obaa Yaa, should I continue waiting for him or move on with my life?
Olivia, Accra
Dear Olivia,
I am sorry for what you are going through. Losing your job does not make you a failure, and your husband has no right to disrespect or abandon you because of it.
Marriage requires love, patience and support, especially during difficult times. However, you should not remain in a relationship where you are constantly mistreated.
I advise you to think carefully about your future and the well-being of your children. If your husband genuinely wants to change, he must prove it through his actions and take responsibility for his family.
Remember, marriage should bring peace, not constant suffering.
Take heart, dear sister, and never allow the fear of losing your marriage to make you lose your self-worth.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been friends with a lady for over seven years, and we have always shared our personal secrets with each other. I trusted her so much that I even introduced her to my boyfriend.
Recently, I discovered that she had been secretly dating my boyfriend.
When I confronted her, she apologised and begged me to forgive her, claiming it happened because she was lonely.
I am deeply hurt because I never expected such betrayal from someone I considered a sister. My family and other friends are advising me to end the friendship, but she keeps begging me to give her another chance.
Obaa Yaa, should I forgive her and continue the friendship, or should I cut her off completely?
Esinam, Keta
Dear Esinam,
Friendship should be built on trust, honesty and loyalty. Your friend has broken the trust you placed in her, and loneliness is no excuse for betraying someone who genuinely cares about you.
I believe forgiveness is important, but it does not mean you must continue a friendship that has caused you pain. Take your time, protect your peace and allow her actions to determine whether she deserves another chance.
Remember, not everyone who smiles with you is genuinely happy for you.
Be careful who you trust, because sometimes betrayal comes from the people closest to us.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl, 23 years old, just completed National Service. I have always been a good girl at home. Last month, I decided to pierce my nose and also got a second piercing in my ear because all my friends have it and it looks beautiful in fashion. I also wear short dresses sometimes when going out with friends.
Since then, my mother has been calling me a bad girl and calling me names.
My father said if I don’t remove the nose ring, I should leave his house because no decent Ghanaian girl dresses like that. My mother even said no serious man will marry me if I dress like that. Obaa Yaa, I feel hurt. I am not a bad girl, I just like fashion. Is it wrong for a lady to pierce her nose? How do I make my parents understand me?
Efua, Adjiringanor
Dear Efua,
Thank you for your honest letter. Many young ladies at your age are going through this same battle between modern fashion and traditional values.
Let me be honest with you. Fashion is not bad. Looking good is not a sin but decency is also part of beauty.
Piercing your nose does not make you a bad girl. Your character makes you who you are. However, you must also understand your parents. They grew up at a time where a nose ring, multiple ear piercings and very short dresses were seen as a sign of rebellion. So when they see it on you, they become afraid that you are joining bad company.
You are not wayward. But true beauty is when your fashion and your decency walk together. You will be fine.
