Relationship
A smooth landing or bumpy flight?
Agoo! Agoo! Korkorkor! Hear ye, hear ye! Umofians, gather round! It is another glorious day in the land, and I, the tale-bearer, come bearing news hotter than a fiery coal from the blacksmith’s forge!
Like the King of the jungle returning from a triumphant hunt, the First Gentleman’s return has been loud, bold, and impossible to ignore. Whew! What a comeback, Umofians! Who would have thought that a one-term wonder could make such a glorious return and send the mighty ‘Osono’ running faster than a squirrel at a hunter’s sound?
Ah! How the wheels of time sometimes spin faster than lightning bolt striking the ground! This is indeed a tale for the Pied Piper, the bards who sing of legends, and every tale-bearer who spins a tune so wild, even the gods would lean in to catch a word!
But wait ooo, Umofians! The victory drums have barely finished echoing, yet the village square is buzzing louder than bees in a palm wine calabash, hinting at trouble brewing in the land.
Eii! Eii! Eii! Who knew such a simple act could whip up such fiery storm in Umofia? It seems the First Gentleman’s swap to the ‘Dzata Chariot’ of his Kingsman instead of the ‘Umofia chariot’ has sent ripples through the land. Now, the mighty ‘Osono’ are charging in, trunks ablase, and ready to take the drama to new heights. Indeed, what goes around does come around.
You see, aeons ago, I was lounging under the village baobab tree, savouring my sweet ‘sobolo,’ when news swept through Umofia like a brisk wind. Dearest old ‘King Sakora’ had decided that the old village chariot was a tad outdated!
After all, when one is seeking comfort and perhaps a little shower in the skies, why settle for an old chariot? Ah, the extremes one can go when they need a little extra space to bathe in the sky! But, why linger when the mighty ‘Osono’ has been sent packing?
Well, as we Umofians cling to our stools under the village baobab trees, with eyes squinting at the skies like hawks on the hunt, one might wonder: Are the skies ahead smooth for the ‘Akatamanso’? Or are we in for a bumpy ride full of twists and turns? Only time will tell, right?
In the meantime, whispers from the chief linguist indicate that the First Gentleman will continue soaring in the Dzata chariot. After all, when you have a Kingsman with a chariot, why bother with the village one?
First Gentleman, welcome back to the throne! Your return has indeed been as loud as a lion’s roar in the village square, turning heads and dropping jaws. We, the Umofians, wish you well; may the gods guide your path and perhaps send a little rain to cool things down.
Ehem! A gentle nudge to the ‘Osono’; those who live in glass houses should not throw stones, especially when your own high-flying bath antics have been the subject of village gossip! Or is this just a classic case of ‘do as I say, not as I do’? It seems the ‘osono’ is so eager to call the Akatamanso black, it’s forgotten it is brewed in a blacker pot!
Until next time, stay tuned, Umofians! The skies are full of stories yet to unfold, and who knows what storm clouds might gather next?
To be continued………..
With Eyram, the Tale Bearer
Parenting teens can be challenging. But it can also be a joy. The key is to know how to care for yourself, first and foremost. Before you have children, you might think that parenting will come naturally. And, to some degree, it does. But there are days (and sometimes months and years) when all parents could use some extra support.
Last week we looked at some four simple yet powerful approaches for parenting teens that build strong relationships for the long-run. Here are the remaining two:
4: Keep communication going
Because we are often busy and distracted, we do not always take the time to really focus on our kids when they’re trying to tell us something. Take advantage of the time you have together. Having dinner together as a family, using car time to talk, or chatting before bed are good ways to stay in daily touch with your teen. Prioritise quality time as well as quantity: Consider having breakfast out on the weekend as a special catch-up time to chat about the week. Or schedule monthly “family meetings” to discuss how things have been going and any conflicts that have arisen.
5. Be an empathetic listener
Listening with empathy and caring is one of the most important tips on parenting a teenager. Researchers have shown that people’s brain patterns synchronise when they listen closely to one another and watch each other’s expressions. As a result, the connection between them becomes stronger. Not feeling truly heard can lead to isolation and lack of self-esteem which are the root causes of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Therefore, take listening seriously. It’s not just a way of coping with teenagers; it has an enormous impact on their well-being.
The price of ‘I do’: Why money honesty is the real marriage insurance –Part 2
She did not find out he was cheating. She found out he was drowning.
It was two weeks after their beautiful wedding. The jollof was still in the fridge. A loan officer called her number-not his-and politely asked, “Madam, please tell your husband to pay his overdue loan. We have been calling him.”
That was how she discovered her new husband had entered their marriage with a hidden debt of over GH¢ 40,000. No cheating. No other woman. Just a financial secret.
And that is how many Ghanaian marriages begin to die. Not with a shout, but with a secret alert on a phone.
We prepare for the wedding. We do not prepare for the wallet.
What is money honesty?
Let me define it simply. Money honesty is not that you both earn the same. It is that you both know the same. It is the ability to sit down and say without fear:
“This is how much I earn.”
“This is how much I owe.”
“This is how I was raised to see money.”
“This is what scares me about money.”
Financial transparency is not about control. It is about clarity. You cannot build trust on top of secrets.
Many couples tell me, “Counsellor, we love each other, love will handle money.” I always answer, “Love is the car, but money honesty is the fuel. Love without honesty cannot move.”
How To Buy Your Marriage Insurance Today – My 5-Step Protocol
If you are engaged, newly married, or even 20 years in marriage, you can still fix this. At Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, this is what I give couples:
Step 1: The 90-Minute Money Naked Session.
No phones, no blame. Each partner writes down on paper: Monthly income, monthly debts, monthly family obligations, savings, and your biggest money fear. Then you exchange papers. Read it. Don’t react for 24 hours. Just absorb.
Step 2: Create OUR Money, YOUR Money, My Money.
You need three pots. OUR money for rent, food, school fees, utilities, properties, and the like— joint contribution. YOUR money and MY money—a small agreed allowance no one questions. This stops the feeling of being controlled.
Step 3: The No-Secret Debt Rule.
Agree from today: No new loan, no new hire purchase, no new family financial commitment above GHS 500 without telling each other first. Not permission, but information.
Step 4: Talk About Your Money Personality.
Are you a Spender or a Saver? Are you Risky or Safe? Most Ghanaian marriages are a Spender married to a Saver. Neither is wrong. But if you don’t understand your partner’s personality, you will call his saving “stinginess” and her spending “wastefulness.”
Step 5: Do a Monthly 30-Minute Money Date
Not an argument date. Light, with tea. “How did we do this month? What worried you? What should we plan for next month?” Couples who do this divorce far less.
My Final Word
Before you say “I Do” at the altar, have pre-marital counselling and also have the money talk on the sofa.
Ask your partner:
“If I lost my job today, how long can we survive?”
“What debt are you bringing into this marriage?”
“How much do you send to your family monthly and will that continue?”
If he or she gets angry that you asked, don’t get married yet. A person who is angry about accountability will be abusive about money.
Marriage insurance is not bought at Star Assurance or Enterprise. It is bought in honest conversations when no one is watching.
The wedding costs one day. The marriage costs a lifetime. Don’t enter a lifetime contract and covenant with hidden costs.
You can still insure your marriage today.
Source:
Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.
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