Relationship
A smooth landing or bumpy flight?
Agoo! Agoo! Korkorkor! Hear ye, hear ye! Umofians, gather round! It is another glorious day in the land, and I, the tale-bearer, come bearing news hotter than a fiery coal from the blacksmith’s forge!
Like the King of the jungle returning from a triumphant hunt, the First Gentleman’s return has been loud, bold, and impossible to ignore. Whew! What a comeback, Umofians! Who would have thought that a one-term wonder could make such a glorious return and send the mighty ‘Osono’ running faster than a squirrel at a hunter’s sound?
Ah! How the wheels of time sometimes spin faster than lightning bolt striking the ground! This is indeed a tale for the Pied Piper, the bards who sing of legends, and every tale-bearer who spins a tune so wild, even the gods would lean in to catch a word!
But wait ooo, Umofians! The victory drums have barely finished echoing, yet the village square is buzzing louder than bees in a palm wine calabash, hinting at trouble brewing in the land.
Eii! Eii! Eii! Who knew such a simple act could whip up such fiery storm in Umofia? It seems the First Gentleman’s swap to the ‘Dzata Chariot’ of his Kingsman instead of the ‘Umofia chariot’ has sent ripples through the land. Now, the mighty ‘Osono’ are charging in, trunks ablase, and ready to take the drama to new heights. Indeed, what goes around does come around.
You see, aeons ago, I was lounging under the village baobab tree, savouring my sweet ‘sobolo,’ when news swept through Umofia like a brisk wind. Dearest old ‘King Sakora’ had decided that the old village chariot was a tad outdated!
After all, when one is seeking comfort and perhaps a little shower in the skies, why settle for an old chariot? Ah, the extremes one can go when they need a little extra space to bathe in the sky! But, why linger when the mighty ‘Osono’ has been sent packing?
Well, as we Umofians cling to our stools under the village baobab trees, with eyes squinting at the skies like hawks on the hunt, one might wonder: Are the skies ahead smooth for the ‘Akatamanso’? Or are we in for a bumpy ride full of twists and turns? Only time will tell, right?
In the meantime, whispers from the chief linguist indicate that the First Gentleman will continue soaring in the Dzata chariot. After all, when you have a Kingsman with a chariot, why bother with the village one?
First Gentleman, welcome back to the throne! Your return has indeed been as loud as a lion’s roar in the village square, turning heads and dropping jaws. We, the Umofians, wish you well; may the gods guide your path and perhaps send a little rain to cool things down.
Ehem! A gentle nudge to the ‘Osono’; those who live in glass houses should not throw stones, especially when your own high-flying bath antics have been the subject of village gossip! Or is this just a classic case of ‘do as I say, not as I do’? It seems the ‘osono’ is so eager to call the Akatamanso black, it’s forgotten it is brewed in a blacker pot!
Until next time, stay tuned, Umofians! The skies are full of stories yet to unfold, and who knows what storm clouds might gather next?
To be continued………..
With Eyram, the Tale Bearer
Raising children is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world and the one for which you might feel the least prepared.
Here are some child-rearing tips that can help you feel more fulfilled continued from last week.
3. Set limits and be consistent with your discipline
Discipline is necessary in every household. The goal of discipline is to help children choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. They may test the limits established for them, but they need those limits to grow into responsible adults.
Establishing house rules helps kids understand your expectations and develop self-control. Some rules might include: no TV until homework is done, and no hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing allowed.
A common mistake parents make is not following through with consequences. You cannot discipline children for talking back one day and ignore it the next. Being consistent teaches what you expect.
4. Make time for your kids
It is often hard for parents and kids to get together for a family meal, let alone spend quality time together. But there is probably nothing children would like more.
Get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so you can eat breakfast with your child or leave the dishes in the sink and take a walk after dinner children who are not getting the attention they want from their parents often act out or misbehave because they are sure to be noticed that way.
5. Be a good role model
Young children learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: Is that how you want your child to behave when angry? Be aware that you are constantly being watched by your kids. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home.
Model the traits you wish to see in your children: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance. Exhibit unselfish behaviour. Do things for other people without expecting a reward. Express thanks and offer compliments. Above all, treat your kids the way you expect other people to treat you.
6. Make communication a priority
You cannot expect children to do everything simply because you, as a parent, “say so.” They want and deserve explanations as much as adults do. If we do not take time to explain, children will begin to wonder about our values and motives and whether they have any basis. Parents who reason with their kids allow them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way.
Friendship is a gift. Laughter with friends, weekend “vibes,” and social connections keep us human. But what happens when the club, the chop bar, the “girls’ night,” or the “boys’ hangout” becomes more important than the home you promised to build?
As a marriage counsellor, I meet couples who do not fight about money or in-laws. They fight about time. One partner says, “You’re always out.” The other says, “You’re just boring and controlling.” Behind those words is a painful truth: Excessive partying and socialising can become emotional infidelity — not with a person, but with a lifestyle.
Research from the Journal of Marriage and Family shows that couples who spend less than five hours of focused time together weekly report higher dissatisfaction, lower intimacy, and increased risk of separation. The issue is not social life. The issue is imbalance.
This article is for every husband, wife, fiancé, and fiancée who feels lonely in a marriage full of people. Beyond the vibes is a home that needs you.
7 ways excessive partying and socialising break a marriage
1. Emotional neglect becomes normal
Marriage thrives on daily connection — a 10-minute talk, shared meals, checking in after a hard day. When one partner is always out, the other learns to stop sharing. Over time, “How was your day?” feels pointless because the answer is always, “You weren’t there.”
Emotional neglect is silent, but it kills intimacy faster than shouting.
2. Trust erodes in the absence
Constant nights out, unanswered calls, “I forgot my phone,” and coming home late create suspicion. Even if there is no cheating, the marriage becomes policed by fear. The sober spouse starts checking phones, counting money, and living with anxiety. Trust grows in presence, not absence.
3. Parenting becomes one-person work
When one partner is always socialising, childcare, homework, and bedtime stories fall on one person. Resentment grows: “I’m married, but I’m parenting alone.” Children also notice which parent is absent. They learn that home is not the priority.
4. Financial strain and broken priorities
Weekly clubbing, bottles, fuel, and “contributions” drain family budgets. School fees are delayed, rent is late, but there’s always money for “vibes.” This creates a second crisis: financial conflict. The message sent is, “Friends get my best money; family gets my leftovers.”
5. Intimacy and sex life die
You cannot build romance in 10 minutes before sleep. Excessive nights out mean couples stop touching, talking deeply, and laughing together. The bedroom becomes cold. Over time, couples become roommates who share a surname but not a life.
6. “We” becomes “me”
Marriage is a team. But when decisions, weekends, and identity are centered on friends, the marriage loses its “we.” The social partner says, “My boys are planning a trip,” not “Let’s plan as a family.” The other spouse feels like an outsider in their own home.
7. Mental health declines for both partners The partner at home feels abandoned, depressed, and less valuable. The partner always out feels guilty, defensive, and addicted to external validation. Both end up emotionally exhausted. Studies show that social isolation within marriage increases depression risk for both spouses, even when one is socially overactive
