Relationship
A smooth landing or bumpy flight?
Agoo! Agoo! Korkorkor! Hear ye, hear ye! Umofians, gather round! It is another glorious day in the land, and I, the tale-bearer, come bearing news hotter than a fiery coal from the blacksmith’s forge!
Like the King of the jungle returning from a triumphant hunt, the First Gentleman’s return has been loud, bold, and impossible to ignore. Whew! What a comeback, Umofians! Who would have thought that a one-term wonder could make such a glorious return and send the mighty ‘Osono’ running faster than a squirrel at a hunter’s sound?
Ah! How the wheels of time sometimes spin faster than lightning bolt striking the ground! This is indeed a tale for the Pied Piper, the bards who sing of legends, and every tale-bearer who spins a tune so wild, even the gods would lean in to catch a word!
But wait ooo, Umofians! The victory drums have barely finished echoing, yet the village square is buzzing louder than bees in a palm wine calabash, hinting at trouble brewing in the land.
Eii! Eii! Eii! Who knew such a simple act could whip up such fiery storm in Umofia? It seems the First Gentleman’s swap to the ‘Dzata Chariot’ of his Kingsman instead of the ‘Umofia chariot’ has sent ripples through the land. Now, the mighty ‘Osono’ are charging in, trunks ablase, and ready to take the drama to new heights. Indeed, what goes around does come around.
You see, aeons ago, I was lounging under the village baobab tree, savouring my sweet ‘sobolo,’ when news swept through Umofia like a brisk wind. Dearest old ‘King Sakora’ had decided that the old village chariot was a tad outdated!
After all, when one is seeking comfort and perhaps a little shower in the skies, why settle for an old chariot? Ah, the extremes one can go when they need a little extra space to bathe in the sky! But, why linger when the mighty ‘Osono’ has been sent packing?
Well, as we Umofians cling to our stools under the village baobab trees, with eyes squinting at the skies like hawks on the hunt, one might wonder: Are the skies ahead smooth for the ‘Akatamanso’? Or are we in for a bumpy ride full of twists and turns? Only time will tell, right?
In the meantime, whispers from the chief linguist indicate that the First Gentleman will continue soaring in the Dzata chariot. After all, when you have a Kingsman with a chariot, why bother with the village one?
First Gentleman, welcome back to the throne! Your return has indeed been as loud as a lion’s roar in the village square, turning heads and dropping jaws. We, the Umofians, wish you well; may the gods guide your path and perhaps send a little rain to cool things down.
Ehem! A gentle nudge to the ‘Osono’; those who live in glass houses should not throw stones, especially when your own high-flying bath antics have been the subject of village gossip! Or is this just a classic case of ‘do as I say, not as I do’? It seems the ‘osono’ is so eager to call the Akatamanso black, it’s forgotten it is brewed in a blacker pot!
Until next time, stay tuned, Umofians! The skies are full of stories yet to unfold, and who knows what storm clouds might gather next?
To be continued………..
With Eyram, the Tale Bearer
Marriage is meant to be a safe place where two people build, grow, and support each other. But what happens when one partner’s need for admiration, control, and self-importance slowly erodes the emotional safety of the home?
As a marriage counsellor and mental health professional, I meet women who say, “I feel like I’m walking on eggshells at home,” or “No matter what I do, it’s never enough.” Often, what they are describing are patterns linked to living with a narcissistic husband.
Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Not every selfish or proud man is a clinical narcissist. But when these traits become consistent patterns that harm your mental health, self-worth, and sense of reality, it is time to pay attention.
Here are seven realistic signs you may be married to a narcissistic husband:
1. Everything is about him
Conversations, decisions, and even your achievements somehow circle back to him. If you share good news, he quickly shifts the focus to his own success or minimizes yours.
Over time, you feel invisible in your own marriage. A healthy marriage makes space for both partners’ voices. A narcissistic dynamic makes space for only one.
2. You feel constantly blamed and criticised
No matter how hard you try, you are made to feel inadequate. He may use subtle sarcasm, public criticism, or outright blame to keep you off balance. This is not constructive feedback—it is a tactic to control and diminish you. You begin to question your memory, judgment, and worth. In psychology, this is called “gaslighting,” and it is a common tool in narcissistic relationships.
3. Empathy is missing when you need it most
When you are sick, stressed, or grieving, a narcissistic husband often appears emotionally distant or irritated. He struggles to validate your feelings unless it benefits him. Real empathy requires stepping outside oneself. Narcissism keeps the focus inward, making emotional support feel transactional or absent.
4. Control disguised as “Love” or “Protection”
He may monitor your phone, dictate how you dress, or isolate you from friends and family under the guise of caring for you. Healthy love promotes freedom and trust. Narcissistic control seeks to keep you dependent and manageable. Over time, this erodes your independence and confidence.
5. Love feels conditional and performance-based
Affection, praise, and attention come when you meet his expectations. When you do not, you face silent treatment, anger, or withdrawal. This creates a cycle where you work harder to “earn” love that should be freely given. Marriage is not a performance stage—it’s a partnership.
6. He avoids accountability
When issues arise, he rarely apologizes sincerely or takes responsibility. Instead, he deflects, blames you, or rewrites the story to make himself the victim. A marriage cannot heal if one partner refuses to own their part. Accountability is the foundation of trust.
7. Your mental health is declining
Perhaps the clearest sign is what is happening inside you. Do you feel anxious, drained, confused, or less confident than when you got married? Living with chronic emotional invalidation and control takes a toll on your nervous system and self-esteem. Your mental health is a reliable indicator that something is wrong.
What can you do?
Recognizing these signs is not about labeling and leaving. It is about seeing clearly so you can make informed choices for your mental and emotional well-being.
1. Seek clarity through professional support: A trained counsellor can help you separate reality from manipulation and rebuild your self-worth.
2. Set healthy boundaries: Boundaries are not punishment. They are protection for your peace and dignity.
3. Build a support system: Isolate yourself less. Share with trusted friends, family, or support groups. You are not crazy, and you are not alone.
4. Prioritise your mental health: Therapy, journaling, prayer, and self-care are not selfish. They are necessary for survival and clarity.
Marriage should add to your life, not subtract from your sense of self. If you recognise these patterns, know this: naming the problem is the first step toward healing, whether that healing happens within the marriage or through creating a safer life for yourself.
Source:
Counselor Prince Offei is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health.
Aries
You are a warrior by nature, try to balance out your own needs to ensure you do not give all of yourself to another. Give yourself some love, too!
Taurus
Do not fret, the secrets being hidden are not bad and are beneficial to your future. In fact, you will be super happy when they are revealed. Then, you can make strategic moves forward.
Gemini
Your friendship circle is evolving, allowing you to meet new people who will become your best buds over time. Embrace the rare chance to connect and engage with others you meet now.
Cancer
Home is where your heart is this week. And the more reason for you to start making yourself feel cozier in your space now. Treat yourself to a few new items to decorate and spruce up your pad to get in the spring spirit. Add fresh.
Leo
Lean into your higher mind and vibe. This will give you the ultimate opportunity to achieve personal fulfillment and spiritual growth over the next few months. Doing so will encourage you to reach new personal heights.
Virgo
Standing up for yourself takes a lot of guts and confidence. Luckily for you, you are able to assert your view against others and defend yourself against those who aim to bring you down.
Libra
Making your mark on the world is challenging, but you are headed in the right direction. As long as you accept that you need to be a leader rather than an innovator in your endeavours, you can take on your goals with success.
Scorpio
You are being introspective and plotting your next moves on and off this week. Take this time and energy to strategise the upcoming sunny days, so you can use them to your advantage and achieve your desires.
Sagittarius
It is time to get creative! This means busting out your drawing board, paintbrushes and colour palette to make art. Whether it is for professional endeavours or for pleasure, you will be inspired to bring your passions to light
Capricorn
Work is becoming very chaotic at the moment and requires all of your time, but you have the chance to balance out your vibe and not focus on professional endeavours. Find your chill spot and lean into self-care.
Aquarius
You are feeling extra chatty and more able to engage with friends. Word of advice: think before you speak to avoid conflict with others.
Pisces
This week gives you the chance to restart, reboot and get motivated to take on new opportunities. The question is: Are you ready now?
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