Obaa Yaa
My wife used to say thank you a lot when we were dating
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Whenever I bought her a gift, took her out, or even complimented her, she would thank me.
I loved her for always showing appreciation all the time and that made me love her more.
Interestingly, when we got married few weeks into our marriage, my wife has stopped saying thank you.
I can give her the world now, and she would look at it, put it in her purse, and walk away as if nothing had happened.
On top of that, my favourite type of thank you doesn’t come anymore. I even asked if everything was okay with her.
She only rolled her eyes and treated my question as if it didn’t matter. Does that mean thankfulness ceases after marriage? Or is everything now my responsibility, so I deserve no thank you?
Seth, Koforidua.
Dear Seth
A balanced response would acknowledge his feelings while also encouraging healthy communication:
Your feelings are understandable. Being appreciated matters, whether you’ve been married for one year or 20 years. A simple “thank you” can make a partner feel seen, valued, and loved.
At the same time, it’s common for couples to become comfortable with each other after marriage. Many people don’t intentionally stop showing gratitude; they simply assume their partner already knows they’re appreciated. Familiarity can sometimes replace the small expressions of appreciation that were common during dating.
Rather than keeping score or assuming the worst, have an honest but gentle conversation with your wife. Tell her that it’s not just the words “thank you” you miss it’s the feeling of being appreciated. Avoid bringing it up as a complaint or a joke; instead, explain how those little expressions made you feel loved and respected.
Also, lead by example. Continue thanking her for the things she does, no matter how small. Gratitude is often contagious, and when both partners intentionally express appreciation, it strengthens the marriage.
Marriage shouldn’t mark the end of gratitude. If anything, it should be the place where appreciation is expressed most often. A relationship where both spouses feel noticed, valued, and acknowledged is usually a happier and healthier one.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I need your advice on something I have been experiencing at work. I am a young employee working in an organisation where most of the people in leadership positions are much older than me.
I respect their experience and authority, but sometimes I feel that being young means my opinions are automatically treated as less important.
There are situations where I have noticed problems with the way certain things are done. I have also had ideas that I believe could improve some of our processes. But whenever I try to raise them, I am sometimes told that I am too young to understand how things work.
Recently, I made a suggestion during a meeting, and instead of discussing the idea, my supervisor asked me how long I have been working in the organisation.
I understand that experience matters. Leadership also requires wisdom and maturity. But does being young mean we should remain silent until we become older?
What worries me most is that many young employees around me have good ideas but are afraid to speak. They fear being labelled disrespectful, difficult or rebellious. Some simply keep quiet and do what they are told, even when they know something could be done better.
Obaa Yaa, where should the balance be between respecting leadership and speaking up? Should young employees simply follow instructions, or should leaders create an environment where young workers can question, contribute and even challenge ideas respectfully?
Alfred, Amasaman.
Dear Alfred,
A young worker should respect experience and authority, but leadership should also judge ideas on their merit rather than the age of the person presenting them.
Being young does not mean you have nothing valuable to contribute. At the same time, being experienced does not mean an older person is always right. The workplace needs both experience and fresh ideas.
Your responsibility as a young employee is not to remain silent, but to learn how to speak in a way that demonstrates respect, professionalism and maturity.
When you identify a problem, avoid approaching your supervisor as though you have discovered a mistake they were too ignorant to notice. Instead, explain the issue respectfully and, where possible, present a practical solution.
That approach does not undermine authority. It demonstrates initiative.
And leaders should create room for young employees to contribute without making them feel that speaking up is an act of disrespect.
Don’t keep quiet just because you are young. Learn, listen, respect authority and speak up when you have something meaningful to contribute.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I hold a Master’s degree from the Pentecost University, yet I am struggling to find a job.
For years, I believed pursing my Master’s degree could find me a better job but today, I have still not found one.
I have been applying for jobs almost every week. I have sent my curriculum vitae to different companies, attended interviews and even applied for positions that are not directly related to what I studied.
But the response is almost always the same, we need someone with experience. How am I supposed to get experience when nobody is willing to give me the first opportunity?
The most interesting thing is that some of my classmates are already employed, while others are travelling or in booming businesses. I don’t want to give up, but the constant rejection is becoming frustrating.
Obaa Yaa, what should a young graduate do when qualifications are not enough and experience is required before anyone gives you a chance?
Elorm, Ho.
Dear Elorm
If you already have a Master’s degree and still unemployed, the focus should not be positioning yourself for other opportunities.
Stop sending same CV, each tailored to a specific type of job. Your CV should highlight what you can do, not only the degrees you have.
Don’t wait for the perfect job. Take internships, short term contracts, research projects or volunteer positions that can give experience and contact while you continue searching.
Most importantly, don’t interpret unemployment to mean that your Master’s degree is useless. The problem may be the way your qualification is being presented, regarding the type of jobs you are targeting.
Also, you can start up something small as a side business to enable you get enough income.
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