Obaa Yaa
It’s a no for civil engineering
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MY daughter completed Senior High School this year and she had a very good grade.
With her grade, her father wants her to pursue Computer Science Engineering, but she had an interest in Civil Engineering.
Finally, admission forms are out and my daughter got Civil Engineering.
Her father doesn’t pay for her school fees because she did not choose the course he wanted her to offer.
Due to this, they don’t see eye to eye and it is causing tension at home.
Please, how do I reconcile father and daughter? I am so stressed with what’s going on between the two. Thank you.
Enyonam, Keta.
Dear Enyonam,
BOTH of them have legitimate feelings: the father may be worried about her future and wants to guide her, while your daughter wants to pursue a field she is genuinely interested in.
Do not try to settle the matter when either person is angry. The purpose should not be to decide who is right, but to find a solution that protects their relationship and your daughter’s future.
Ask your daughter to explain why she chose Civil Engineering.
She should explain what attracts her to the course, the subjects involved, the career opportunities and, importantly, why she believes she can succeed in it. If she has researched the universities and career paths, she should present that information to her father.
Talk to the father that financial support should not become a weapon.
It is understandable that a parent wants to have a say in a child’s education, especially when paying the fees. However, withdrawing educational support simply because his daughter chose a different legitimate course can damage their relationship. He can express his disagreement while still supporting her and allowing her to take responsibility for her choice.
Dear Araba,
THERE is this handsome gentleman in my area I am crushing on badly. He gave me a lift to the office a month ago and I mistakenly farted in the car.
When the incident happened in the car, he just stared at me but looked unbothered, which made me a bit comfortable.
Araba, Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
HONESTLY, I don’t see anything wrong with that. You are human, and human beings fart. The fact that he didn’t say anything or make you feel uncomfortable probably means he understood that it was an accidental, normal bodily function.
Ever since that incident happened, he has stopped calling or texting me. He doesn’t even give me a lift any longer.
Please, tell me, is it a crime to fart in your crush’s car?
What is keeping you embarrassed after months is not the fart itself but the meaning you have attached to it. You have replayed the incident so many times that it has become bigger in your mind than it probably ever was in his.
Just confront him that it was a mistake and, for that matter, we should let go of everything and move on.
Obaa Yaa,
I am a 25-year-old student currently in Level 200, second semester, and I will soon be moving to Level 300.
My boyfriend is 30 years old. He is also a university student and is currently in his final year studying Law. He wants us to start having children soon.
His plan is that once I become pregnant, perhaps within the first or second month, he will come and pay my bride price. We would first have the traditional marriage ceremony and later complete the legal marriage process at the court.
I am the first child in my family and come from a financially struggling background.
At the moment, I earn about GH₵1,000 a month, while my boyfriend earns approximately GH₵4,000. He has offered to give me GH₵20,000 to start a business, but I honestly do not know what business to start.
This uncertainty makes it difficult for me to make a decision based solely on his financial support.
I am worried because I love him and understand that he wants us to build a family together. I am, therefore struggling to decide whether I should agree to his plans now or wait until both of us are financially stable.
Nuru, Tamale.
Dear Nuru,
If I were to advise you as a younger sister, I would tell you not to deliberately become pregnant now.
Not because your boyfriend is necessarily a bad person, and not because having children is wrong, but because you have several major things that are not yet settled.
Secondly, premarital sex is unacceptable in the Christian setting.
Marriage should not be something that happens because you became pregnant.
Your boyfriend is asking you to make a decision that could affect your entire life, yet the alternative you are considering is waiting until you complete school or land yourself a good job.
If he genuinely loves you and wants to build a life with you, he should be able to understand why this short waiting period matters to you.
You could even spend the next few months researching businesses, learning a skill or developing a small business idea while waiting for the recruitment results.
In your situation, I would choose to wait rather than deliberately become pregnant now, because marriage is not a child’s play.
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