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Disqualified – Part 3

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After church on Sunday, Afrakoma said a quiet prayer, asking for divine help in getting Beesiwa to agree to her suggestion. She and Beesiwa were mates in senior high school, and they both studied for the Diploma in Business Studies at Koforidua Polytechnic, and they obtained jobs with Madam Bruwaa, a big distributor of provisions and textiles, where they were offered modest salaries.

They both got jobs at the National Bank, but just when they started, the parents of a young man based in the US, Sam Abrokwa, approached Beesiwa’s parents to ask for her hand in marriage.

Although the parents knew each other and Beesiwa remembered Sam as her senior in basic school, she told her parents that she would only agree to marry him after getting to know him.

The two parents tried, but she flatly refused to marry a guy she had never met. Eventually, it was agreed that she would meet him when he came to Ghana for a brief visit, but she insisted that she would only go and join him some time after they had met.

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So they spoke on phone regularly, with Sam always expressing the desire to see her in the shortest possible time. Beesiwa, on the other hand, was polite and friendly, but reserved.

She quietly hoped that in due course, she would experience what would enable her to see her husband in him.

So it happened after some four months. Sam called to say that he had arrived in Koforidua, and would be calling on her in the afternoon. Beesiwa and her parents prepared a sumptuous meal for him, but he got to the house around 10pm, accompanied by two friends, obviously drunk. He apologized for his lateness, and after some 10 minutes asked Beesiwa to come with him to his house. Beesiwa said politely but firmly that she could not join him, and pleaded that they make it the following day.

 He was very irritated by that answer, but he eventually accepted to come back the following day. As she lay in bed, Beesiwa wondered whether there was any hope for a future with Sam. Which normal person, she said to herself, goes to meet his wife and in-laws for the first time drunk? Perhaps tomorrow would be different.

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Sam returned after 8pm the following day, a little sober but still drunk. He turned down the offer of a meal, and Beesiwa followed him to his home. A few minutes after offering her a seat, he turned on her, and started undressing her. Beesiwa started to object, but he flared up.                

“Hey! You are not going to play games with me, after the monies I have spent on you. Your parents asked for money on several occasions, and I sent it. So how dare you refuse me sex?” Absolutely shocked, Beesiwa quietly gave in, and after less than 10 minutes Sam turned on his side and, with a big smile on his face, fell asleep. Beesiwa managed to dress up, walk out of the house and call Afrakoma. Afrakoma turned up in a taxi and took her to her house, and she narrated her experience to her.                                                                                                               “I can’t believe this. So your parents virtually sold you to him, and never told you?”                     “I don’t think I can face the two of them again. My own parents have given me the most violent experience of my life. I don’t want to see them again.”                                                                     “Take a shower Beesiwa, and try to get some sleep. I will go and see them tomorrow morning.”

“Hello Afrakoma. How are you? Your friend went to her husband’s place yesterday. She may be back in a day or two.”

 “Actually, Ma, I came to discuss that with you and Daddy. I don’t need to sit down. Ma, Afrakoma went to Sam’s house with him reluctantly, because like yesterday, he was drunk.

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As soon as they stepped in his room, he started removing her dress. When Beesiwa started to object, he told her that he had paid money to her parents, so she could not reject him.

She was so shocked that she just stayed silent and he slept with her. Fortunately he fell asleep, so she called me, and I went with a taxi to take her home.

Forgive me Ma, but I think you and Daddy have treated Beesiwa, a beautiful virgin determined to have an honourable, marriage, in the most despicable fashion. I’m trying to be polite, but I don’t know what your financial need was, which enabled you to betray your own daughter this way.

For your information, I have sent a message to Sam that Beesiwa and I need to know how much money is owed to him, and my husband and I will support her to pay. Good morning.” As the two parents stood with their mouths open, she walked away.    

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Migrant health, wellbeing in Finland  

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Helsinki university central hospital

Today, I focus on the theme of mental health and wellbeing among Ghanaian migrants in Finland, a move away from the topic of personalities or groups and their accomplishments within the Ghanaian community in Finland that I have been writing on.

In recent times, I have been thinking about the mental health of Ghanaian (and other) migrant parents’ social environments and the impact on their children’s wellbeing in Finland.

According to research, childhood disadvantage is associated with adult psychological distress, although the role of behavioural risk factors around it may be unclear.

Mental health is a huge problem in the world, according to the World Health Organisation (WHO). Studies have also shown that maternal, paternal and parental distress (i.e. both maternal and paternal distress) are associated with reduced linear growth of the children.

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When things go bad, social child welfare interventions ensure that children are taken away (child removals) from the parent or parents for safe keeping.

In Finland, studies have examined how behavioural risk factors mediate the effects of childhood disadvantage on adult psychological distress. There is a correlation between parent and infant psychotherapy on maternal mental health and psychological functioning and children’s welfare. The question is: what is the situation with Ghanaian migrants and their health in Finland?

The focus of NGOs and migrant associations

The World Health Organisation (WHO) defines health as “a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity” (see www.who.int).

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Finland has a very good healthcare delivery system and social services accessible to all residents in the country. Many migrants, including those in the Ghanaian community, are aware of these opportunities and are expected to take advantage of such chances.

As I wrote some time ago, a healthy migrant community is beneficial to the society as a whole. In Finland, public agencies, migrant associations and other non-governmental organisations (NGOs) have been giving health information in various channels— webinars, mass media (radio, TV, as well as the new media and others). Such actions are very helpful to the people.

It has been pointed out that factors that improve mental health and wellbeing must be supported. Migrants’ mental and general health or wellbeing are affected by many factors, including cultural ideas of health, illnesses, and the prevention, treatment and symptoms of illnesses (see www.thl.fi). 

Advocacy by the civil society sector

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I have recently been making inquiries about migrants’ health generally and wellbeing in Finland. Many people see the need for advocacy, to intensify education and create more awareness about health and wellbeing of migrants in Finland.

NGOs and other organisations as part of the civil society sector play a crucial role in supporting migrant health in Finland, completing public services by offering legal advice, mental health support, and specialized services for vulnerable groups. Such NGOs and social groups, including migrant associations, offer specialized support for migrant women, while others are involved in activities that address social exclusion issues that impact health.

Research and other reports indicate that NGOs and other social institutions advocate for the involvement of individuals and communities in health decision-making. It has been pointed out that migrants’ involvement in health decision-making requires explicit national policies that are implemented evenly across policy-making. 

Integration

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According to the Finnish health department, health and wellbeing are an important part of the integration process. Hence, it is accepted that factors to improve health and wellbeing must be supported.

Generally, migrant associations help the health authorities and formally create awareness among their members and other migrants, usually in collaboration with some Finnish institutions, and are thus an important tool for several migrants to be positively active and to get their interest and concerns heard.

As I wrote previously, the role of migrant associations acting as bridge-builders for the integration and inclusion of migrants through participation in the decision making process and by acting as a representative voice is highly appreciated in Finland.

The social media outlets have become an important means for disseminating information and it could be a key medium through which migrant groups or associations and other institutions could educate people.

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A positive outlook on the Finnish healthcare system

As I keep saying, Ghanaian and other African migrants in Finland generally have a positive mind and hope for the best in life. They know that the Finnish healthcare system, one of the best in the world, has a comprehensive healthcare service that caters for every resident in the country.

Migrants know that as residents they can count on and readily access good healthcare service delivery in Finland. All they need to do is to go for regular medical checks and counselling since early diagnosis is key in the treatment of any illness. Adhering to treatment at the hospital is the key. Assigning spiritual interpretations could be detrimental. Thank you!

GHANA MATTERS column appears fortnightly. Written in simple, layman’s terms, it concentrates on matters about Ghana and beyond. It focuses on everyday life issues relating to the social, cultural, economic, religious, political, health, sports, youth, gender, etc. It strives to remind us all that Ghana comes first. The column also takes a candid look at the meanings and repercussions of our actions, especially those things we take for granted or even ignore. There are key Ghanaian values we should uphold rather than disregard with impunity. We should not overlook the obvious. We need to search for the hidden or deeply embedded values and try to project them.

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With Dr Perpetual Crentsil

perpetual.crentsil@yahoo.com

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Disqualified – Part 3

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After church on Sunday, Afrakoma said a quiet prayer, asking for divine help in getting Beesiwa to agree to her suggestion. She and Beesiwa were mates in senior high school, and they both studied for the Diploma in Business Studies at Koforidua Polytechnic, and they obtained jobs with Madam Bruwaa, a big distributor of provisions and textiles, where they were offered modest salaries.

They both got jobs at the National Bank, but just when they started, the parents of a young man based in the US, Sam Abrokwa, approached Beesiwa’s parents to ask for her hand in marriage.

Although the parents knew each other and Beesiwa remembered Sam as her senior in basic school, she told her parents that she would only agree to marry him after getting to know him.

The two parents tried, but she flatly refused to marry a guy she had never met. Eventually, it was agreed that she would meet him when he came to Ghana for a brief visit, but she insisted that she would only go and join him some time after they had met.

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So they spoke on phone regularly, with Sam always expressing the desire to see her in the shortest possible time. Beesiwa, on the other hand, was polite and friendly, but reserved.

She quietly hoped that in due course, she would experience what would enable her to see her husband in him.

So it happened after some four months. Sam called to say that he had arrived in Koforidua, and would be calling on her in the afternoon. Beesiwa and her parents prepared a sumptuous meal for him, but he got to the house around 10pm, accompanied by two friends, obviously drunk. He apologized for his lateness, and after some 10 minutes asked Beesiwa to come with him to his house. Beesiwa said politely but firmly that she could not join him, and pleaded that they make it the following day.

 He was very irritated by that answer, but he eventually accepted to come back the following day. As she lay in bed, Beesiwa wondered whether there was any hope for a future with Sam. Which normal person, she said to herself, goes to meet his wife and in-laws for the first time drunk? Perhaps tomorrow would be different.

Advertisement

Sam returned after 8pm the following day, a little sober but still drunk. He turned down the offer of a meal, and Beesiwa followed him to his home. A few minutes after offering her a seat, he turned on her, and started undressing her. Beesiwa started to object, but he flared up.                

“Hey! You are not going to play games with me, after the monies I have spent on you. Your parents asked for money on several occasions, and I sent it. So how dare you refuse me sex?” Absolutely shocked, Beesiwa quietly gave in, and after less than 10 minutes Sam turned on his side and, with a big smile on his face, fell asleep. Beesiwa managed to dress up, walk out of the house and call Afrakoma. Afrakoma turned up in a taxi and took her to her house, and she narrated her experience to her.                                                                                                               

“I can’t believe this. So your parents virtually sold you to him, and never told you?”                     “I don’t think I can face the two of them again. My own parents have given me the most violent experience of my life. I don’t want to see them again.”                                                                   

  “Take a shower Beesiwa, and try to get some sleep. I will go and see them tomorrow morning.”

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“Hello Afrakoma. How are you? Your friend went to her husband’s place yesterday. She may be back in a day or two.”

 “Actually, Ma, I came to discuss that with you and Daddy. I don’t need to sit down. Ma, Afrakoma went to Sam’s house with him reluctantly, because like yesterday, he was drunk.

As soon as they stepped in his room, he started removing her dress. When Beesiwa started to object, he told her that he had paid money to her parents, so she could not reject him.

She was so shocked that she just stayed silent and he slept with her. Fortunately he fell asleep, so she called me, and I went with a taxi to take her home.

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Forgive me Ma, but I think you and Daddy have treated Beesiwa, a beautiful virgin determined to have an honourable, marriage, in the most despicable fashion. I’m trying to be polite, but I don’t know what your financial need was, which enabled you to betray your own daughter this way.

For your information, I have sent a message to Sam that Beesiwa and I need to know how much money is owed to him, and my husband and I will support her to pay. Good morning.” As the two parents stood with their mouths open, she walked away.    

By Ekow de Heer

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