Relationship
Preparation for your marriage ceremony
A wedding day is one that many dream of—a day filled with love, joy, and excitement as two people commit to a shared future. Yet, the importance of this day goes far beyond the flowers, the venue, or even the vows.
As thrilling as it may be, a wedding is the start of a lifelong journey, not a one-day event.
Before this life-changing commitment, pause. Reflect on your reasons for marrying. Ensure you’re as ready for the marriage as for the wedding. The ceremony is beautiful, but it’s just the beginning.
This chapter will outline steps to guide you. They will help you plan a wonderful wedding. They will also prepare you for your marriage and the adventure ahead.
With divorce rates high in many parts of the world, it’s more important than ever to make intentional and thoughtful preparations for marriage. These steps aim to show you the way. They cover your relationship from its start to the wedding and beyond.
Practical Steps for Preparing for Your Marriage and Wedding Day
Let’s break down preparing for marriage into actionable tips. They will assist both your wedding day and, more importantly, your future marriage.
- Clarify Your Personal Intentions and Expectations
Take the time to understand why you want to get married. Reflect on questions such as, “What does marriage mean to me?” and “What kind of partner do I want to be?”
Make sure your reasons for marriage go beyond a desire for companionship or society’s expectations. They should align with deeper values.
- Set Aside Time for Pre-Marital Counselling
Consider participating in pre-marital counselling sessions. As a marriage and family therapist, I know that counselling offers a safe space. It can help address conflicts, discuss family backgrounds, and develop key communication tools for the future.
- Communicate Openly About Expectations for Married Life
Discuss your expectations of your roles in the marriage. Talk about financial goals, family dynamics, and career aspirations. Also, consider other factors that could affect your relationship. Open communication helps prevent misunderstandings down the line. Clear communication today builds trust for tomorrow.
- Align Financial Goals and Habits
Talk about financial matters, including income, spending habits, saving strategies, and financial goals. Money issues often cause marital conflict. So, build transparency and teamwork in this area.
- Plan for Practicalities Together
Deliberate on living arrangements, daily routines, and other practical aspects of married life. Decide together how household responsibilities will be shared. These actionable conversations help establish routines and expectations that will benefit you both.
- Establish Boundaries with Extended Family Members
Define healthy boundaries for your interactions with family and their involvement in your lives. Setting boundaries early on will help prevent tension with in-laws or extended family, a common issue in marriage.
- Create a Shared Vision for the Future
Spend time talking about the vision you have for your life together. Develop a “relationship mission statement” that expresses your shared values, goals, and dreams. This vision will act as a strategic guide for your marriage. A strong marriage is built on a shared vision, not just shared experiences.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). ORDER BOOK NOW: https://selar.co/preparing-for-a-happy-and-fulfilling-marriage
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Parenting teens can be challenging. But it can also be a joy. The key is to know how to care for yourself, first and foremost. Before you have children, you might think that parenting will come naturally. And, to some degree, it does. But there are days (and sometimes months and years) when all parents could use some extra support.
Last week we looked at some four simple yet powerful approaches for parenting teens that build strong relationships for the long-run. Here are the remaining two:
4: Keep communication going
Because we are often busy and distracted, we do not always take the time to really focus on our kids when they’re trying to tell us something. Take advantage of the time you have together. Having dinner together as a family, using car time to talk, or chatting before bed are good ways to stay in daily touch with your teen. Prioritise quality time as well as quantity: Consider having breakfast out on the weekend as a special catch-up time to chat about the week. Or schedule monthly “family meetings” to discuss how things have been going and any conflicts that have arisen.
5. Be an empathetic listener
Listening with empathy and caring is one of the most important tips on parenting a teenager. Researchers have shown that people’s brain patterns synchronise when they listen closely to one another and watch each other’s expressions. As a result, the connection between them becomes stronger. Not feeling truly heard can lead to isolation and lack of self-esteem which are the root causes of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Therefore, take listening seriously. It’s not just a way of coping with teenagers; it has an enormous impact on their well-being.
The price of ‘I do’: Why money honesty is the real marriage insurance –Part 2
She did not find out he was cheating. She found out he was drowning.
It was two weeks after their beautiful wedding. The jollof was still in the fridge. A loan officer called her number-not his-and politely asked, “Madam, please tell your husband to pay his overdue loan. We have been calling him.”
That was how she discovered her new husband had entered their marriage with a hidden debt of over GH¢ 40,000. No cheating. No other woman. Just a financial secret.
And that is how many Ghanaian marriages begin to die. Not with a shout, but with a secret alert on a phone.
We prepare for the wedding. We do not prepare for the wallet.
What is money honesty?
Let me define it simply. Money honesty is not that you both earn the same. It is that you both know the same. It is the ability to sit down and say without fear:
“This is how much I earn.”
“This is how much I owe.”
“This is how I was raised to see money.”
“This is what scares me about money.”
Financial transparency is not about control. It is about clarity. You cannot build trust on top of secrets.
Many couples tell me, “Counsellor, we love each other, love will handle money.” I always answer, “Love is the car, but money honesty is the fuel. Love without honesty cannot move.”
How To Buy Your Marriage Insurance Today – My 5-Step Protocol
If you are engaged, newly married, or even 20 years in marriage, you can still fix this. At Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, this is what I give couples:
Step 1: The 90-Minute Money Naked Session.
No phones, no blame. Each partner writes down on paper: Monthly income, monthly debts, monthly family obligations, savings, and your biggest money fear. Then you exchange papers. Read it. Don’t react for 24 hours. Just absorb.
Step 2: Create OUR Money, YOUR Money, My Money.
You need three pots. OUR money for rent, food, school fees, utilities, properties, and the like— joint contribution. YOUR money and MY money—a small agreed allowance no one questions. This stops the feeling of being controlled.
Step 3: The No-Secret Debt Rule.
Agree from today: No new loan, no new hire purchase, no new family financial commitment above GHS 500 without telling each other first. Not permission, but information.
Step 4: Talk About Your Money Personality.
Are you a Spender or a Saver? Are you Risky or Safe? Most Ghanaian marriages are a Spender married to a Saver. Neither is wrong. But if you don’t understand your partner’s personality, you will call his saving “stinginess” and her spending “wastefulness.”
Step 5: Do a Monthly 30-Minute Money Date
Not an argument date. Light, with tea. “How did we do this month? What worried you? What should we plan for next month?” Couples who do this divorce far less.
My Final Word
Before you say “I Do” at the altar, have pre-marital counselling and also have the money talk on the sofa.
Ask your partner:
“If I lost my job today, how long can we survive?”
“What debt are you bringing into this marriage?”
“How much do you send to your family monthly and will that continue?”
If he or she gets angry that you asked, don’t get married yet. A person who is angry about accountability will be abusive about money.
Marriage insurance is not bought at Star Assurance or Enterprise. It is bought in honest conversations when no one is watching.
The wedding costs one day. The marriage costs a lifetime. Don’t enter a lifetime contract and covenant with hidden costs.
You can still insure your marriage today.
Source:
Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.
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