Obaa Yaa
My mother’s presence at home is a worry to my boyfriend
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
My boyfriend rented an apartment for me at a time when I desperately needed a place to stay. Since then, it has become our sanctuary.
He comes over on some evenings and weekends, sometimes spending the night and other times just relaxing before leaving.
He has his own set of keys, so he doesn’t even need to call before coming.
Everything changed four months ago when my mum fell seriously ill. And since the hospital she attends is not far from where I live, I brought her to come and stay with me as she receives her medical care.
Since then, she has remained here with me. Her condition has not been stable; she gets better today and the condition gets bad later.
The problem is that my boyfriend no longer feels comfortable coming around. He can’t spend the night here like he used to, and he keeps asking me when my mother will be leaving.
I usually tell him, I don’t have an answer due to her condition. Sometimes, he gets upset, and although I manage to calm him down, I can tell his patience is running out.
My rent expires in just three months, and I don’t have the money to renew it. I’ve always depended on him to pay the rent, but now I am afraid he may refuse to renew it because he feels my mother has taken over the space he provided for us.
The pressure is becoming unbearable, and I feel like I’m running out of time. What should I do to protect my mother and save my relationship?
Baaba, Cape Coast.
Dear Baaba,
The first thing to remember is that your mother is ill and needs care. It would be difficult, and perhaps unfair, to send her away simply because it is affecting your relationship.
At the same time, your boyfriend’s feelings are understandable. He rented the apartment expecting it to be a place where the two of you could spend time together, but that has changed with no end in sight.
The best step is to have an honest, calm conversation with your boyfriend. Explain it to him that your mother’s stay was never meant to replace him or take over the apartment. Make him understand that it is a temporary response to a medical emergency, not a sign that you value him any less. Let him know you appreciate everything he has done for you and that you understand the sacrifices he has made.
You should also begin planning for the rent now instead of waiting until it expires. Explore whether you can contribute something towards it, seek help from family, or find another source of income. Depending entirely on one person for housing can leave you vulnerable if circumstances change.
Finally, pay attention to how your boyfriend responds after you’ve had an open conversation. A caring partner may be disappointed by the situation, but he should also show compassion for someone caring for a sick parent. Likewise, your needs matter too.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I need your advice on something I have been experiencing at work. I am a young employee working in an organisation where most of the people in leadership positions are much older than me.
I respect their experience and authority, but sometimes I feel that being young means my opinions are automatically treated as less important.
There are situations where I have noticed problems with the way certain things are done. I have also had ideas that I believe could improve some of our processes. But whenever I try to raise them, I am sometimes told that I am too young to understand how things work.
Recently, I made a suggestion during a meeting, and instead of discussing the idea, my supervisor asked me how long I have been working in the organisation.
I understand that experience matters. Leadership also requires wisdom and maturity. But does being young mean we should remain silent until we become older?
What worries me most is that many young employees around me have good ideas but are afraid to speak. They fear being labelled disrespectful, difficult or rebellious. Some simply keep quiet and do what they are told, even when they know something could be done better.
Obaa Yaa, where should the balance be between respecting leadership and speaking up? Should young employees simply follow instructions, or should leaders create an environment where young workers can question, contribute and even challenge ideas respectfully?
Alfred, Amasaman.
Dear Alfred,
A young worker should respect experience and authority, but leadership should also judge ideas on their merit rather than the age of the person presenting them.
Being young does not mean you have nothing valuable to contribute. At the same time, being experienced does not mean an older person is always right. The workplace needs both experience and fresh ideas.
Your responsibility as a young employee is not to remain silent, but to learn how to speak in a way that demonstrates respect, professionalism and maturity.
When you identify a problem, avoid approaching your supervisor as though you have discovered a mistake they were too ignorant to notice. Instead, explain the issue respectfully and, where possible, present a practical solution.
That approach does not undermine authority. It demonstrates initiative.
And leaders should create room for young employees to contribute without making them feel that speaking up is an act of disrespect.
Don’t keep quiet just because you are young. Learn, listen, respect authority and speak up when you have something meaningful to contribute.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I hold a Master’s degree from the Pentecost University, yet I am struggling to find a job.
For years, I believed pursing my Master’s degree could find me a better job but today, I have still not found one.
I have been applying for jobs almost every week. I have sent my curriculum vitae to different companies, attended interviews and even applied for positions that are not directly related to what I studied.
But the response is almost always the same, we need someone with experience. How am I supposed to get experience when nobody is willing to give me the first opportunity?
The most interesting thing is that some of my classmates are already employed, while others are travelling or in booming businesses. I don’t want to give up, but the constant rejection is becoming frustrating.
Obaa Yaa, what should a young graduate do when qualifications are not enough and experience is required before anyone gives you a chance?
Elorm, Ho.
Dear Elorm
If you already have a Master’s degree and still unemployed, the focus should not be positioning yourself for other opportunities.
Stop sending same CV, each tailored to a specific type of job. Your CV should highlight what you can do, not only the degrees you have.
Don’t wait for the perfect job. Take internships, short term contracts, research projects or volunteer positions that can give experience and contact while you continue searching.
Most importantly, don’t interpret unemployment to mean that your Master’s degree is useless. The problem may be the way your qualification is being presented, regarding the type of jobs you are targeting.
Also, you can start up something small as a side business to enable you get enough income.
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