Obaa Yaa
She wants money for love
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I PROPOSED to a lady I have always admired during our university days. Interestingly, this woman was so much into me as well.
The only thing she always asks from a man is a gold chain, a new dress and sandals close to GH₵2,000.
According to her, if the man is able to get her all these items listed, then it is a win and yes for the man.
She demands these things because of the way a man treated her. Her argument is that if I should decide to end this relationship, she would have had something from me at least.
Obaa Yaa, is it worth venturing into?
Kelvin, Ofankor.
Dear Kelvin,
ANY love affair that is based on money or exchange of money for love or sex is an affair that begins on a wrong premise.
Such an affair is conditional and would encounter challenges sooner or later, because it is not grounded on mutual love and affection.
Besides, you are a student, how are you going to afford the gold chain? It looks as if this whole relationship would stress you. I will advise you to stay away from the lady.
Though you didn’t state your age in the letter, I plead with you to give yourself some time and relax. The beautiful one’s are not yet born.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM a 32-year-old lady who got married two months ago. My husband had a female friend who was very supportive during our marriage.
I appreciate her care and support to my family but it seems she wants to try my patience. During our honeymoon, the lady kept calling my husband to check up on us and it was worse when we came back from honeymoon.
My husband’s attitude has changed drastically and sometimes I wonder if my husband knows I exist at all. I decided to have a talk with my husband about what was going on but he told me he doesn’t see anything wrong with that.
My marriage is just two months but I already have regrets. Obaa Yaa, please help me.
Nana Ama, Nungua.
Dear Ama,
MY dear, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It feels like you are hurt and betrayed by your husband’s behaviour and the woman’s interference in your marriage.
You deserve to be respected and prioritised in your marriage. It’s not ideal for your husband to be giving all his attention to someone else, especially a best friend who is a female.
Talk to your husband again, calmly and clearly, about how you’re feeling. If he still doesn’t listen or respect your views on the matter, then you have to reevaluate the marriage and prioritise your own happiness.
As for the woman, she’s not your problem. Focus on your own relationship and don’t let her actions dictate your emotions. You can’t control her behaviour, but you can control how you respond to it.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
