Obaa Yaa
She came into my bathroom
Dear Obaa Yaa,
MY wife is a trader. She travels frequently to a neighbouring country almost every two weeks for two days.
While she was away, her step-sister comes over to do some cooking for me.
I have noticed that her step-sister has been making advances at me.
Recently, she entered the bathroom while I was in there, and realised I was bathing. She stood looking at me until I threw some water at her.
I intend to tell my wife about her sister’s behaviour, but friends say this may cause tension between the sisters. I need your view.
Ben, Togo.
Dear Ben,
IT is true that such revelation to your wife will cause some tension between the two sisters.
You can also sit your sister-in-law down and give her a stern warning. Let her understand that you intend to report her to her sister if she makes that mistake again.
Then you will have to see how you can arrange with your wife for her to cook enough food to store while she is away for those two days. If necessary, you may have to buy a fridge or freezer for that purpose. In that case, there would be no need for your sister-in-law to come and stay over. You will also have to take good care of the children if there are any.
A marriage only works when those involved are prepared to make sacrifices.
However, if after this arrangement this woman should persist with her advances, then bring the matter out into the open and let your wife and her family know about it.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM a 32-year-old lady who got married two months ago. My husband had a female friend who was very supportive during our marriage.
I appreciate her care and support to my family but it seems she wants to try my patience. During our honeymoon, the lady kept calling my husband to check up on us and it was worse when we came back from honeymoon.
My husband’s attitude has changed drastically and sometimes I wonder if my husband knows I exist at all. I decided to have a talk with my husband about what was going on but he told me he doesn’t see anything wrong with that.
My marriage is just two months but I already have regrets. Obaa Yaa, please help me.
Nana Ama, Nungua.
Dear Ama,
MY dear, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It feels like you are hurt and betrayed by your husband’s behaviour and the woman’s interference in your marriage.
You deserve to be respected and prioritised in your marriage. It’s not ideal for your husband to be giving all his attention to someone else, especially a best friend who is a female.
Talk to your husband again, calmly and clearly, about how you’re feeling. If he still doesn’t listen or respect your views on the matter, then you have to reevaluate the marriage and prioritise your own happiness.
As for the woman, she’s not your problem. Focus on your own relationship and don’t let her actions dictate your emotions. You can’t control her behaviour, but you can control how you respond to it.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
