Obaa Yaa
She Went in for the Manager
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am in a relationship with a woman in her late 30s, while I am in my mid-40s. We have been together for the past five years.
My problem is that we work in the same firm and share the same office. For reasons best known to her, she left me for our Manager.
When I confronted her about her behaviour and pleaded with her to end whatever she had with him, she insisted that they were “just friends.”
I am confused and hurt. Does she have any positive plans for me at all? Also, is it normal for a woman to be overly free with any man who shows interest in her?
Finally, is it right for a woman to test a man’s love, as many ladies claim they do?
Kwesi, Tafo
Dear Kwesi,
This situation has the potential to hurt you deeply, especially if she returns only when the other option is no longer available. That kind of behaviour is troubling and emotionally unfair.
From what you describe, she crossed a line and should acknowledge her wrongdoing and apologise sincerely before you even consider moving forward. No one has the right to toy with another person’s feelings simply because they are unhappy or uncertain.
You need to sit her down and have a mature, honest conversation about the direction and seriousness of the relationship.
Most importantly, ask yourself this question: Is this the kind of woman you would want to marry and spend the rest of your life with?
Your answer should guide your next decision.
Greetings,
Obaa Yaa
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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