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Obaa Yaa

My husband moans too loud

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 Dear Obaa Yaa, 

 We live on a compound with five flats, and I am struggling with the looks I get from my neighbours every morning. The way they stare at me feels so horrible.

My husband moans so loud during sex, and this happens almost every day.  I always try to cover up but he always finds a way to keep making noise.  He screams my name very loudly.

We have not yet completed our own house, and it will not be happening anytime soon. Please, how do I get him to stop all this excessive moans? I am so ashamed to move around the compound. The worst part is that my compound neighbours always see me when I am coming in or going out. Sometimes they avoid me and give me some looks, gossiping about me. Obaa Yaa, what should I do?

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Adzo, Keta.

Dear Adzo,

What you are experiencing is quite embarrassing and emotionally painful.

 Your feelings are completely valid. You are not doing anything wrong, immoral, or indecent.

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 The situation continues not because of your actions, but because your husband is ignoring your repeated pleas for privacy and dignity.

A loving and considerate spouse does not trivialise such distress. You need to have one final, calm but firm conversation with him outside the bedroom, making it clear that this behaviour of his is hurting you and must stop.

At the same time, set a clear boundary: if the noise continues, you will not feel comfortable being intimate with him when others can hear.

This is not punishment; it is self-protection. You can also reduce exposure temporarily by closing windows, adding background music, and choosing more private times.

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Hold your head up and remember you have done nothing disgraceful. If your husband still refuses to change, seek marital counselling or a trusted mediator he respects. You deserve privacy, respect, and emotional safety in your marriage.

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Obaa Yaa

Her grandma may become a hindrance

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 20 and she is 19. We have been lovers for the past four months and have promised to get married to each other.

We love each other badly that one cannot leave the other for long. Our relatives know about our affair except her grandmother who will be in the country soon.

My problem is that, I doubt if the grandmother will be excited about this relationship. Her grandmother is very strict and I doubt if this relationship can be successful.

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Her grandmother has been like a mother and everything to her, so her final decision may count.

We have promised each other to stay holy and clean.

Lartey,

Sunyani

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Dear Lartey,

I don’t think your fears are justified if the girl’s parent do not object to your relationship with her.

What makes you think her grandmother will oppose the relationship if her parents endorse it?

Be positive about the relationship. There is no cause for alarm.

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I am very happy you guys are staying holy and clean until marriage.

Both of you are student and need to be careful about any decision you take.

I believe you should try as much as possible to support each other and stay away from any negative act.

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Obaa Yaa

Is my girlfriend cursed?

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 I have a girlfriend who is ‘allergic’ to me and ‘allergic’ to men in general.

Because of this, I barely touch her. I do not sit too close to her. I do not even hold her hands for long.

 We have tried before. Even recently, we tried again. At first, things looked normal.

Then suddenly she lifted her hands and started scratching her back aggressively. We stopped immediately. Moments later, she ran to the bathroom and started vomiting.

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She spent almost four hours there, weak, nauseous, and drained.

 Watching someone you love suffer while you cannot do anything about it is painful. Is it a curse or an allergy?

 Hello Christian,

What you’re describing sounds frightening and emotionally exhausting for both of you. But it is important not to jump to the idea of a curse.

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 Severe reactions after touch, closeness, stress, or intimacy can sometimes be linked to medical conditions, allergies, anxiety responses, trauma, or psychosomatic reactions.

The safest and most loving step is encouraging her to see qualified doctors, especially an allergist and mental health professional, so the cause can be properly understood.

Your patience already shows deep care. Do not blame yourself or search for supernatural explanations first.

Focus on support, medical guidance, emotional safety, and honest communication while protecting both her health and your relationship.

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