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Obaa Yaa

My husband moans too loud

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 Dear Obaa Yaa, 

 We live on a compound with five flats, and I am struggling with the looks I get from my neighbours every morning. The way they stare at me feels so horrible.

My husband moans so loud during sex, and this happens almost every day.  I always try to cover up but he always finds a way to keep making noise.  He screams my name very loudly.

We have not yet completed our own house, and it will not be happening anytime soon. Please, how do I get him to stop all this excessive moans? I am so ashamed to move around the compound. The worst part is that my compound neighbours always see me when I am coming in or going out. Sometimes they avoid me and give me some looks, gossiping about me. Obaa Yaa, what should I do?

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Adzo, Keta.

Dear Adzo,

What you are experiencing is quite embarrassing and emotionally painful.

 Your feelings are completely valid. You are not doing anything wrong, immoral, or indecent.

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 The situation continues not because of your actions, but because your husband is ignoring your repeated pleas for privacy and dignity.

A loving and considerate spouse does not trivialise such distress. You need to have one final, calm but firm conversation with him outside the bedroom, making it clear that this behaviour of his is hurting you and must stop.

At the same time, set a clear boundary: if the noise continues, you will not feel comfortable being intimate with him when others can hear.

This is not punishment; it is self-protection. You can also reduce exposure temporarily by closing windows, adding background music, and choosing more private times.

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Hold your head up and remember you have done nothing disgraceful. If your husband still refuses to change, seek marital counselling or a trusted mediator he respects. You deserve privacy, respect, and emotional safety in your marriage.

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Obaa Yaa

Must a young worker always keep quiet?

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I need your advice on something I have been experiencing at work. I am a young employee working in an organisation where most of the people in leadership positions are much older than me.

I respect their experience and authority, but sometimes I feel that being young means my opinions are automatically treated as less important.

There are situations where I have noticed problems with the way certain things are done. I have also had ideas that I believe could improve some of our processes. But whenever I try to raise them, I am sometimes told that I am too young to understand how things work.

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Recently, I made a suggestion during a meeting, and instead of discussing the idea, my supervisor asked me how long I have been working in the organisation.

I understand that experience matters. Leadership also requires wisdom and maturity. But does being young mean we should remain silent until we become older?

What worries me most is that many young employees around me have good ideas but are afraid to speak. They fear being labelled disrespectful, difficult or rebellious. Some simply keep quiet and do what they are told, even when they know something could be done better.

Obaa Yaa, where should the balance be between respecting leadership and speaking up? Should young employees simply follow instructions, or should leaders create an environment where young workers can question, contribute and even challenge ideas respectfully?

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Alfred, Amasaman.

Dear Alfred,

 A young worker should respect experience and authority, but leadership should also judge ideas on their merit rather than the age of the person presenting them.

Being young does not mean you have nothing valuable to contribute. At the same time, being experienced does not mean an older person is always right. The workplace needs both experience and fresh ideas.

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Your responsibility as a young employee is not to remain silent, but to learn how to speak in a way that demonstrates respect, professionalism and maturity.

When you identify a problem, avoid approaching your supervisor as though you have discovered a mistake they were too ignorant to notice. Instead, explain the issue respectfully and, where possible, present a practical solution.

That approach does not undermine authority. It demonstrates initiative.

And leaders should create room for young employees to contribute without making them feel that speaking up is an act of disrespect.

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Don’t keep quiet just because you are young. Learn, listen, respect authority and speak up when you have something meaningful to contribute.

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Obaa Yaa

I hold a Master’s degree, but I can’t find a job

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I hold a Master’s degree from the Pentecost University, yet I am struggling to find a job.

For years, I believed pursing my Master’s degree could find me a better job but today, I have still not found one.

  I have been applying for jobs almost every week. I have sent my curriculum vitae to different companies, attended interviews and even applied for positions that are not directly related to what I studied.

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But the response is almost always the same, we need someone with experienceHow am I supposed to get experience when nobody is willing to give me the first opportunity?

The most interesting thing is that some of my classmates are already employed, while others are travelling or in booming businesses. I don’t want to give up, but the constant rejection is becoming frustrating.

Obaa Yaa, what should a young graduate do when qualifications are not enough and experience is required before anyone gives you a chance?

Elorm, Ho.

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Dear Elorm

If you already have a Master’s degree and still unemployed, the focus should not be positioning yourself for other opportunities.

Stop sending same CV, each tailored to a specific type of job. Your CV should highlight what you can do, not only the degrees you have.

Don’t wait for the perfect job. Take internships, short term contracts, research projects or volunteer positions that can give experience and contact while you continue searching.

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Most importantly, don’t interpret unemployment to mean that your Master’s degree is useless. The problem may be the way your qualification is being presented, regarding the type of jobs you are targeting.

Also, you can start up something small as a side business to enable you get enough income.

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