Dear Obaa Yaa,

I AM in love with Adwoa, a 25-year-old banker. She has a 10-month old daughter and I am not perturbed about that. She said the father of the child broke up with her even before the child was born. I loved her even before I knew she had a child, and when she told me she had a baby, it didn’t change anything. Love was still love, and care still flowed between us.

I spent some nights with her, and the behaviour of her baby makes me feel like there’s another man she knows. She cries when I pick her up.

The same thing happens when she wakes up and sees me in bed with her mother. I’m not comfortable with the way that baby looks at me. It’s as though there’s someone else looking at me through her eyes. She doesn’t blink an eye. She looks at me as if I’m not the one she’s expecting to see. Is this normal?

Papa, Swedru.

Dear Papa,

IT’S understandable you’re feeling a bit uneasy about the baby’s behaviour. Given the situation, it’s likely the baby is just picking up on your energy or adjusting to a new face.

Ten-month-old can be particular about strangers. Try engaging with her more during calm moments, like playtime or when she is fed. Build a bond through activities she enjoys and have an open chat with your girlfriend about how you’re feeling; she might notice things you’ve missed. The intense staring could be curiosity; babies are like that sometimes. Take it easy, and don’t overthink it.

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