Obaa Yaa
Unpleasant day in my life
- /home/u249204778/domains/spectator.com.gh/public_html/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 27
Warning: Trying to access array offset on false in /home/u249204778/domains/spectator.com.gh/public_html/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 27
&description=Unpleasant day in my life', 'pinterestShare', 'width=750,height=350'); return false;" title="Pin This Post">
- Share
- Tweet /home/u249204778/domains/spectator.com.gh/public_html/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 72
Warning: Trying to access array offset on false in /home/u249204778/domains/spectator.com.gh/public_html/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 72
&description=Unpleasant day in my life', 'pinterestShare', 'width=750,height=350'); return false;" title="Pin This Post">
Dear ObaaYaa,
We fell in love through strange circumstances and since then the expression of love between us in the first few years has been lovely and attractive to hundreds of our admirers.
The two of us came to the realisation that we were for each other and nothing could separate us.
Though we were mates in the university and completed the same year, she was employed three months before l secureda job and things were moving on well with us.
With time, l discovered to my surprise a change in her character, as conversation between us was not as fluid as it used to be. She retorted to my comments and complained about steps that l took.
I was utterly surprised with the change of events and, therefore, sensed that the future looked bleak for the two of us.
Despite these disturbing challenges, l was shocked to the marrow when one evening she sent me a message that she was no longer interested in the relationship and for that matter we should end it there.
After reading the message l called her to find out whether she was the one who sent the message and she confirmed to me that she did. Since she failed to provide an answer, l suggested that we meet and trash out whatever the problem was but she demanded that l should give her time to think about it.
I did all l could but she would not change her mind. This was indeed an unpleasant day in my life. Since that day, l went through sleepless nights, but it later occurred to me that life must go on despite the challenges.
Since then the idea of getting a partner in life has eluded me.
What shall l do?
Kojo, Tema
Dear Kojo,
I would like to encourage you to be courageous, maintain your youthful exuberance and be optimistic in life.
You are not the first person to experience a failed relationship, having enjoyed the promises and assurances which pointed to a lovely marriage life. Additionally, you will definitely not be the last person to fall into such trouble so do not lose hope.
Be reminded that marriage thrives when genuine love is in place and the two lovers are compatible. Otherwise, whatever you do will not be successful.
Be grateful to God that you have identified your differences early for which reason she requested that you should break up the relationship.
This is the time for you to pick up the pieces and position yourself for your life partner who will love and understand all that you do. Be consoled with the words in scripture which says that we should be thankful to God in all circumstances.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man sharing a rented apartment with three other guys. We rented the place together because we are all students and currently on vacation.
Recently, two of the guys travelled to their hometown, leaving only two of us in the apartment. The problem started when the other roommate brought a lady to the house. At first, I thought she was only visiting, but she has now been staying with us for several days and appears to be living here.
I have spoken to my roommate and asked him to ask the lady to leave because I am uncomfortable having someone who was not part of our original arrangement living in the apartment but he refused.
His argument is that he contributed his share of the rent, so he has the right to decide who stays with him. He says that since his money helped us secure the apartment, I cannot tell him what to do with his portion of the house.
The situation is becoming uncomfortable, and I do not want this disagreement to destroy our friendship. I also do not want to appear controlling or disrespectful.
Please, Obaa Yaa, am I wrong to ask him to send the lady away?
Nana Yaw Frimpong, Accra
Dear Nana Yaw Frimpong,
You are not wrong for feeling uncomfortable. The main issue is not that your roommate has a girlfriend; it is that a shared apartment is being used by an additional person without the agreement of the other people who live there.
Paying his share of the rent gives him rights as a tenant, but it does not automatically mean he can unilaterally turn a shared apartment into a place where his partner also lives.
Don’t make it a fight between you and the girlfriend. She is not the main problem. Your disagreement is with your roommate.
Have a calm conversation with him. Tell him that you respect his relationship, but having someone stay for several days is different from having a visitor for an evening.
Speak to the other roommates. Since they are temporarily away, don’t make a permanent decision on their behalf; they should at least know what is happening.
Set a clear boundary rather than issuing an ultimatum. You can say that you are not comfortable with an additional person becoming a permanent occupant unless all the tenants agree.
If he continues to refuse any discussion, you may have to decide whether the friendship is worth enduring an arrangement that makes you uncomfortable or whether, when the tenancy ends, you should live separately.
SKIP THE QUEUE, TAP THE NEWS
You can now read the Ghanaian Times and The Spectator newspapers from the comfort of your device via TimesNewsPlus.
Join our WhatsApp Channel: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBElzjInlqHhl1aTU27
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I was 22 when Kofi and I got married. For 30 years we have toiled together.
As part of our hustling, Kofi my husband left for his ‘troski’ business at 4am while I cooked kenkey and sold it by the roadside. Every cedi that didn’t go to food went into a ‘Susu’ box under our bed.
We decided to build a house together. I carried water for the mortar. Kofi mixed it. We bought cement in bits. First the foundation, then the block house with four rooms and a shop downstairs.
Though we couldn’t make babies, Kofi loved me and gave me peace.
Kofi died out of stroke last year and life has not been easy.
One week after we buried him, his family members have come for the house and shop because we had no children together.
Yes, I had no child but I had blisters. I had receipts. I have 30 years of shared suffering and love. What should I do?
Afi, Ho
Dear Afi,
Afi, I know this hurts deeply, but don’t leave your 30 years of toil to your husband’s family. Gather every proof you have- the receipts for cement and blocks, photos of you both building, ‘Susu’ records, and statements from neighbours or the mason who saw you work together. This shows ‘joint acquisition’ and the court will consider it. Under Ghana’s Intestate Succession Law, PNDC Law 111, you have rights even without children. You are entitled to household items, part of the estate, and a life interest in the house. Custom cannot erase that. Do not sign any paper Uncle Joe brings until a lawyer has read it.
Get help right away; don’t fight this alone. Go to Legal Aid Ghana for assistance. They offer free support for women in inheritance cases. Talk to your pastor, counselor, or women’s group because this is grief on top of grief.
