Obaa Yaa

Marriage is not attractive

Published

4 years ago

July 23, 2022

Dear ObaaYaa,

I grew up in a family of six children in a local community where protection, care and love for one another was the priority.
Though very young, l treasured marriage life and respected couples, especially when l meet them either going to church with their children or going to farm.

Unfortunately, in other communities, the love and desire to wish others well in life and in their fields of endeavours was non-existent. I came across wives who behaved as though they were not married.

These wives normally wait for their husbands to go to work after which they move to their boyfriends to enjoy themselves.

In this new community, l was shocked and rocked to the marrow when l discovered that two wives who were legally married with children indulged in illicit love affairs with other men. What surprised me more was the fact that they did not feel remorse for their actions and the arrogance with which they carried themselves out was much appalling.

These two incidents in Accra made marriage unattractive to me, unclean and impure. This has informed my decision to stay single in order to be free from the troubles and disgrace of marriage.

Do you think my decision is appropriate?

Kofi-Accra.

Dear Kofi,

I think your discovery, though scandalous to many in the community who may be privy to this secret, should not discourage you. This is to give you a glimpse of the sort of immoral acts which persist in society and people are gleefully engaging in it.

I am sure you either grew up with your parents or a guardian whose impeccable marriage lives you should emulate. Do not let the ills in society disturb your plans, but direct your life through the right path and ensure that you pursue it.

Consider the good marriages around you and aspire towards these enviable examples to guide your future.

Obaa Yaa

He introduced me wrongly

Published

5 days ago

April 11, 2026

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.

He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.

When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.

He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.

I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.

Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?

Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.

Dear Araba,

FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.

Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.

So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.

However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.

Obaa Yaa

My wife wants 2 more children

Published

5 days ago

April 11, 2026

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.

Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.

Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.

As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.

I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.

My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.

Please advise me.

Amevi, Ho.

Dear Amevi,

THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.

There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.

You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.

If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.

If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.