Obaa Yaa
Marriage is not attractive
Dear ObaaYaa,
I grew up in a family of six children in a local community where protection, care and love for one another was the priority.
Though very young, l treasured marriage life and respected couples, especially when l meet them either going to church with their children or going to farm.
Unfortunately, in other communities, the love and desire to wish others well in life and in their fields of endeavours was non-existent. I came across wives who behaved as though they were not married.
These wives normally wait for their husbands to go to work after which they move to their boyfriends to enjoy themselves.
In this new community, l was shocked and rocked to the marrow when l discovered that two wives who were legally married with children indulged in illicit love affairs with other men. What surprised me more was the fact that they did not feel remorse for their actions and the arrogance with which they carried themselves out was much appalling.
These two incidents in Accra made marriage unattractive to me, unclean and impure. This has informed my decision to stay single in order to be free from the troubles and disgrace of marriage.
Do you think my decision is appropriate?
Kofi-Accra.
Dear Kofi,
I think your discovery, though scandalous to many in the community who may be privy to this secret, should not discourage you. This is to give you a glimpse of the sort of immoral acts which persist in society and people are gleefully engaging in it.
I am sure you either grew up with your parents or a guardian whose impeccable marriage lives you should emulate. Do not let the ills in society disturb your plans, but direct your life through the right path and ensure that you pursue it.
Consider the good marriages around you and aspire towards these enviable examples to guide your future.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 20 and she is 19. We have been lovers for the past four months and have promised to get married to each other.
We love each other badly that one cannot leave the other for long. Our relatives know about our affair except her grandmother who will be in the country soon.
My problem is that, I doubt if the grandmother will be excited about this relationship. Her grandmother is very strict and I doubt if this relationship can be successful.
Her grandmother has been like a mother and everything to her, so her final decision may count.
We have promised each other to stay holy and clean.
Lartey,
Sunyani
Dear Lartey,
I don’t think your fears are justified if the girl’s parent do not object to your relationship with her.
What makes you think her grandmother will oppose the relationship if her parents endorse it?
Be positive about the relationship. There is no cause for alarm.
I am very happy you guys are staying holy and clean until marriage.
Both of you are student and need to be careful about any decision you take.
I believe you should try as much as possible to support each other and stay away from any negative act.
I have a girlfriend who is ‘allergic’ to me and ‘allergic’ to men in general.
Because of this, I barely touch her. I do not sit too close to her. I do not even hold her hands for long.
We have tried before. Even recently, we tried again. At first, things looked normal.
Then suddenly she lifted her hands and started scratching her back aggressively. We stopped immediately. Moments later, she ran to the bathroom and started vomiting.
She spent almost four hours there, weak, nauseous, and drained.
Watching someone you love suffer while you cannot do anything about it is painful. Is it a curse or an allergy?
Hello Christian,
What you’re describing sounds frightening and emotionally exhausting for both of you. But it is important not to jump to the idea of a curse.
Severe reactions after touch, closeness, stress, or intimacy can sometimes be linked to medical conditions, allergies, anxiety responses, trauma, or psychosomatic reactions.
The safest and most loving step is encouraging her to see qualified doctors, especially an allergist and mental health professional, so the cause can be properly understood.
Your patience already shows deep care. Do not blame yourself or search for supernatural explanations first.
Focus on support, medical guidance, emotional safety, and honest communication while protecting both her health and your relationship.
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