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Spiritual implications of divorce

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Divorce has significant spiritual ramifications, affecting not only the couple but also their children and extended family members. For individuals grounded in faith, mar­riage is often considered a covenant blessed by God. Thus, divorce can challenge personal beliefs, shake the spiritual foundations of those involved, and create a lasting impact on the religious aspects of their lives (Lambert, 2014).

a. Weakening of spiritual foun­dation

Termination of marriage can se­verely shake the spiritual foundation of both spouses and their children. For many Christians, marriage is a union ordained by God, making its dissolu­tion deeply troubling. The emotional pain, confusion, and self-doubt that come with divorce can cause people to question their faith, creating a sense of spiritual disconnection. According to Thomas and Sawhill (2002), individuals who undergo divorce frequently report feeling spiritually uprooted and distant from their beliefs, which can make it difficult to find peace and solace in religious practices.

b. Struggle with forgiveness

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One of the core tenets of Christi­anity and many other faiths is forgive­ness. Divorce, especially if caused by betrayals or abuse, challenges this val­ue, resulting in bitterness and resent­ment (Lambert, 2014). Both partners may struggle with forgiveness—wheth­er it is forgiving each other, forgiving themselves, or even forgiving others involved in the process, such as family members or friends who took sides. This inability to forgive can create a lingering sense of guilt, further complicating the healing process and obstructing spiritual growth.

c. Conflict with biblical teach­ings

For many Christians, marriage is a lifelong commitment, underpinned by scriptures that discourage divorce. The Bible, for example, states in Matthew 19:6 (NIV): “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Divorce presents an internal conflict with these teachings on the sanctity of marriage and the permanence of vows, often leaving individuals feeling ashamed or guilty for “breaking” a sacred vow. This can trigger emotional turmoil as individuals try to reconcile their decision with their religious val­ues (Lambert, 2014).

d. Impact on prayer and wor­ship

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The emotional toll of divorce affects the ability of the spouse and children to engage in prayer and worship. Feelings of unworthiness, guilt, or abandonment may hinder individuals from fully participating in communal worship or private devotion (Amato & Previti, 2003). Studies sug­gest that religiously active individuals going through divorce may feel distant from their spiritual community—lead­ing to lower levels of participation in religious practices (Kreider, 2020). This alienation can exacerbate the emotional and spiritual pain, creating a barrier between the individual and their faith.

e. Sense of abandonment and spiritual isolation

The breakdown of a marriage can instill a sense of abandonment, not only from the former spouse but also from God. People may question why they had to endure the pain of separa­tion and may feel that God has aban­doned them. This spiritual isolation may contribute to a crisis of faith, as individuals may grapple with feelings of being forsaken. A study on faith and marital dissolution in the USA found that 29 per cent of divorces reported a temporary or permanent decline in their belief in divine support during and after the process (Lambert, 2014).

f. Difficulty in finding spiritual healing

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Divorce complicates the process of spiritual healing. The deep wounds left by the end of a marriage can create an inner sense of failure—making it challenging for individuals to accept God’s forgiveness or feel worthy of divine love. This can obstruct ef­forts toward spiritual restoration and growth, making it difficult for those involved to achieve peace. Research shows that people who participate in regular faith-based support groups or counselling programmes tend to recov­er more effectively from the spiritual and emotional scars left by divorce (Kreider, 2020).

To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OF­FEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). https://counsel­orprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-coun­seling-psych

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist

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https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website

COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAIN­ING INSTITUTE)

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Relationship

How to Navigate Social Media Boundaries as a Couple

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Navigating social media boundaries as a couple can be tricky. With constant access to each other’s lives online, it’s essential to establish clear boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship. Here are practical tips to help couples manage social media use effectively.

1. Have an Open and Honest Conversation
The first step is to talk openly with your partner about social media usage and how it affects your relationship. Honest conversations may feel challenging, but they are essential for understanding each other’s perspectives and setting mutually acceptable boundaries.

2. Be Specific
When discussing boundaries, be clear about the behaviors that bother you and the limits you’d like to set. For example, instead of saying, “You spend too much time on social media,” try:
“I feel neglected when you are on your phone for extended periods during our conversations. Can we set a limit on phone usage during quality time together?”

3. Be Considerate
Consider and respect your partner’s viewpoint. Setting boundaries is not about controlling each other; it’s about creating balance and fostering trust in the relationship. The goal is to maintain connection without letting social media interfere with your bond.

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4. Agree on Social Media Etiquette
Social media etiquette guidelines can help couples define what is and isn’t acceptable online behavior. Discuss whether you will follow each other, what kinds of photos you’ll post, and how you will interact with others online. Clear guidelines help prevent misunderstandings and maintain respect.

5. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
Respecting privacy is crucial. Avoid snooping on your partner’s accounts, sharing personal information without consent, or posting photos or updates that may make them uncomfortable. Trust and respect form the foundation of a healthy digital relationship.

6. Don’t Use Social Media as a Measure of Your Relationship
Remember that social media often shows a curated “highlight reel” of other people’s relationships. Avoid comparing your relationship to these selective portrayals. Every relationship is unique, with its own challenges and successes. Focus on what makes your bond special rather than online comparisons.

Conclusion
Setting boundaries on social media is key to nurturing a healthy, happy relationship. Open communication, mutual respect, agreed-upon etiquette, and avoiding comparison with others online are all vital steps in maintaining intimacy and trust in the digital age.

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Source: Arkansas Relationship Counselling Centre

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Vulnerability, Openness Strengthen Relationship Bond

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In the realm of romantic relationships, vulnerability and openness are often misconstrued as signs of weakness. However, research in psychology and relationship counselling suggests that embracing vulnerability can be a powerful catalyst for deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening bonds.

The Power of Vulnerability

Vulnerability involves sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires with our partner, making us susceptible to potential hurt or rejection. Yet, it is precisely this openness that allows us to build trust, foster empathy, and create a sense of safety in our relationships.

When couples prioritise vulnerability, they often experience a profound shift in their relationship dynamics. For instance, a couple I counselled, who were struggling to connect after a recent move, found that sharing their fears and anxieties with each other helped them rebuild their emotional intimacy. By being open about their struggles, they were able to support each other and strengthen their bond.

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Benefits of Vulnerability and Openness

  1. Deeper understanding: By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our partner.
  2. Increased empathy: When we are open about our struggles, our partner is more likely to respond with compassion and support.
  3. Resilience: Vulnerability helps us develop coping mechanisms and learn to navigate challenges together.
  4. Authentic connection: By being our authentic selves, we create a sense of mutual understanding and connection.

Cultivating Vulnerability in Relationships

So, how can we cultivate vulnerability in our relationships? Here are some practical tips:

  1. Start small: Begin by sharing your thoughts and feelings in low-stakes situations, like discussing a book or movie. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually share more personal aspects of yourself.
  2. Practice active listening: When your partner shares their vulnerabilities, respond with empathy and understanding. This helps create a safe space for open communication.
  3. Be present: Focus on the present moment and try to let go of distractions. This allows you to stay engaged and responsive to your partner’s needs.
  4. Show appreciation: Express gratitude for your partner’s vulnerability and celebrate their courage in sharing their thoughts and feelings.

In many successful relationships, couples have reported that regular “check-ins” or meaningful conversations help them stay connected and build a stronger bond. By prioritising vulnerability and openness, these couples are able to address life’s challenges together, fostering a deeper sense of connection and intimacy.

Vulnerability and openness are essential components of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. By embracing these qualities, we can build stronger, more resilient bonds with our partners. As we navigate the complexities of relationships, let us remember that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength that can bring us closer to ourselves and our loved ones.

To be continued…

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Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” by Rev. Counselor Prince Offei (Lecturer, Published Author, Mental Health Professional, and Marriage Counsellor).

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author https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES
CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING
INSTITUTE)

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