Obaa Yaa
Should I stick to my plan or listen to my guardians?
Dear ObaaYaa
I was in the third year of SHS when unfortunately, l became pregnant and had to terminate my education.
Though my situation was embarrassing and quite disgraceful, my guardians did not let me down but accepted me and allowed me to stay at home till the time l would be delivered of my baby.
They provided me with everything and really made life comfortable for me throughout the period l was pregnant.
Surprisingly, they gave me the assurance that l would return to school to enable me to continue my education.
Thanks be to God, l was delivered of my baby who is now three months old. My problem now is there is no one at home to take care of the baby because my guardians are workers and my siblings are also not available to assist me in taking care of the baby while l go to school.
Despite this challenge, my guardians are still insisting that l should return to school at all cost and no amount of explanation would help change their decision.
Inasmuch as l would have lovedto be in school, my plea is that l would like to wait till my baby is at least a year old before l return to school.
I am confused and do not know what to do. Should I stick to my plan or listen to my guardians even though l have no one to take care of the baby. Please advise me on what to do.
Akua, Accra.
Dear Akua,
This column would like to commend you for your decision to maintain the pregnancy and praise your guardians who have provided you a serene atmosphere throughout the nine months of pregnancy.
Your letter was silent on your parents, especially your mother who should take care of your child while you return to school.
Granted that your mother is not there, the mother of the gentleman who impregnated you or any close relative of his should also come in to lend their support.
Failure to listen to your guardians, having considered the assistance they have given you so far will be tantamount to ingratitude, and they will not take kindly to it. Their insistence of you returning to school after three months could be linked to the commencement of the academic calendar.
Nursing mothers who work always ensure that they look for somebody to take care of their children while they go to work.
Alternatively, you can also make arrangement and send your baby to a day care centre, provided you have the means to pay for it.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
