Obaa Yaa
Should I stick to my plan or listen to my guardians?
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Dear ObaaYaa
I was in the third year of SHS when unfortunately, l became pregnant and had to terminate my education.
Though my situation was embarrassing and quite disgraceful, my guardians did not let me down but accepted me and allowed me to stay at home till the time l would be delivered of my baby.
They provided me with everything and really made life comfortable for me throughout the period l was pregnant.
Surprisingly, they gave me the assurance that l would return to school to enable me to continue my education.
Thanks be to God, l was delivered of my baby who is now three months old. My problem now is there is no one at home to take care of the baby because my guardians are workers and my siblings are also not available to assist me in taking care of the baby while l go to school.
Despite this challenge, my guardians are still insisting that l should return to school at all cost and no amount of explanation would help change their decision.
Inasmuch as l would have lovedto be in school, my plea is that l would like to wait till my baby is at least a year old before l return to school.
I am confused and do not know what to do. Should I stick to my plan or listen to my guardians even though l have no one to take care of the baby. Please advise me on what to do.
Akua, Accra.
Dear Akua,
This column would like to commend you for your decision to maintain the pregnancy and praise your guardians who have provided you a serene atmosphere throughout the nine months of pregnancy.
Your letter was silent on your parents, especially your mother who should take care of your child while you return to school.
Granted that your mother is not there, the mother of the gentleman who impregnated you or any close relative of his should also come in to lend their support.
Failure to listen to your guardians, having considered the assistance they have given you so far will be tantamount to ingratitude, and they will not take kindly to it. Their insistence of you returning to school after three months could be linked to the commencement of the academic calendar.
Nursing mothers who work always ensure that they look for somebody to take care of their children while they go to work.
Alternatively, you can also make arrangement and send your baby to a day care centre, provided you have the means to pay for it.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
