Obaa Yaa
My husband feels too shy for my liking
Dear ObaaYaa,
Our marriage is blessed with a child and things are going on well with us. All this while, l have realised that my husband is the shy-looking type who finds it difficult to stand up when issues crop up among his peers.
During little domestic squabbles, he will hardly talk to explain his point and it looks as though l am the one who talks too much or the one who is all the time causing trouble.
I feel uneasy whenever my husband fails to defend the family or himself in public, a situation which forces me to step in to speak.
Since he is the man and the head of the family, he should sit up and do what men are capable of doing but he woefully fails in this direction and l am always embarrassed.
I am contemplating leaving the marriage since the embarrassment is ceaselessly mounting.
Dorothy, Koforidua.
Dear Dorothy,
I don’t think your issue should be considered the type which should warrant a divorce. I can discern from your letter that your husband is a quiet person who finds it difficult to talk at home, let alone in public.
He is the type of person who keeps matters within and would not like to voice out his concerns. In view of that you must try to cope with his attitude since that is his nature.
What you ought to do is to consider yourself blessed since this is a shortcoming you can easily cope with so long as you remain a couple.
Others have serious challenges in their marriages, like enduring severe beatings and other types of spousal abuses, yet they still move on.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
