Obaa Yaa
My husband feels too shy for my liking
Dear ObaaYaa,
Our marriage is blessed with a child and things are going on well with us. All this while, l have realised that my husband is the shy-looking type who finds it difficult to stand up when issues crop up among his peers.
During little domestic squabbles, he will hardly talk to explain his point and it looks as though l am the one who talks too much or the one who is all the time causing trouble.
I feel uneasy whenever my husband fails to defend the family or himself in public, a situation which forces me to step in to speak.
Since he is the man and the head of the family, he should sit up and do what men are capable of doing but he woefully fails in this direction and l am always embarrassed.
I am contemplating leaving the marriage since the embarrassment is ceaselessly mounting.
Dorothy, Koforidua.
Dear Dorothy,
I don’t think your issue should be considered the type which should warrant a divorce. I can discern from your letter that your husband is a quiet person who finds it difficult to talk at home, let alone in public.
He is the type of person who keeps matters within and would not like to voice out his concerns. In view of that you must try to cope with his attitude since that is his nature.
What you ought to do is to consider yourself blessed since this is a shortcoming you can easily cope with so long as you remain a couple.
Others have serious challenges in their marriages, like enduring severe beatings and other types of spousal abuses, yet they still move on.
Obaa Yaa
I am sexually attracted to children
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man residing in Tamale. I am 40 years old and I have got my own business which is going on successfully.
The nature of my job had made me richer and am able to afford anything that I want.
My only problem is that I need a partner but I don’t fall in love with matured women. I am attracted to children.
I have had an encounter with so many women who are ‘marriage materials and type’ but none of them touch my heart.
In my previous relationship, the girl I dated was 15 years. She took me as a big brother but to me she was my lover.
Now that she is 22 and I can marry her, I have lost interest in her.
Obaa Yaa, what do you think is actually wrong with me? Is it normal? How can I have a partner if I continue to feel this way?
Dabo, Tamale.
Dear Dabo,
I don’t even know how to start this conversation. It is not everything that your heart desires that you should go for.
You need to understand that your desire for children sexually is criminal under the laws of this land so it should not be entertained.
I suggest you seek the assistance of psychologist to advise you or else you might end up in jail.
You might be suffering from pedophilia which is a condition of being sexually attracted to children. You need psychiatric help.
I suggest you also speak to your pastors to help you in prayers, in case it might be spiritual.
Obaa Yaa
The banker deceived me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a banker who told me he wasn’t married and therefore, wanted to marry me.
We started going out and spending time together. He went to the extent of going to see my parents for the engagement list.
It was only after I got pregnant when he confessed he was already married and could not afford to marry me as a second wife.
The problem is that for the past five years, this man has refused to provide for the upkeep of the child.
He is not showing any commitments towards the child and making things difficult for me.
I am currently finding it difficult to take care of the child’s feeding and clothing.
My child is very brilliant at school and my fear is that I cannot give him the best of education since I am not working.
Prisca, Dodowa.
Dear Prisca,
Your story is a sad and unfortunate one. He just ‘toyed’ with you and was successful.
It’s about time women check about the men who propose to them.
And in the first place, why were you intimate with him, knowing very well that you were not married?
Report the matter to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, formerly known as Women and Juvenile Unit (WAJU) immediately.
They would summon him and question him about the upkeep of his child and employ legal means to make him accept responsibility for the child.
