Obaa Yaa
Former girlfriend is still showing interest in me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We attended the same church and were very close and this closeness led to an intimate relationship between us.
Relations, friends and acquaintances knew about our friendship and some of them even referred to us as husband and wife.
Unfortunately, two years on, things changed suddenly and attempts made to repair the broken relationship had fallen on rocks.
My lover has failed to respond to my calls and would not make attempts to call me either. Though some friends who were eager to see us together as a couple tried their best, they could not succeed.
Finally, my friend got married to an influential rich man who promised to do everything for her, but the man died two years after their marriage leaving a child between them.
Five years after the death of her husband she has been pleading that she had made a bad decision and that l should re- reconsider her since l was not married.
According to her, she wished she were my wife because of my character and humility.
Advise me on the step to take.
Kwame, Kumasi.
Dear Kwame,
Your former girlfriend has taken a wrong decision by stepping you aside for a wealthy person. It was unfortunate that she did not consider the love that had existed between you and went ahead to make you suffer disappointment.
Having abandoned you for another person suggests that she has made you a second-rated lover and cannot be trusted.
Would she have been giving you considerations if the ex-husband were alive with all the pleasure and splendour surrounding her?
From all indications, she is the type who is susceptible to sweet promises and pleasure.
You should not hesitate in telling her that you are no longer interested in her. On the contrary, you are at liberty to make your own decision in this matter.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
