Obaa Yaa
Former girlfriend is still showing interest in me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We attended the same church and were very close and this closeness led to an intimate relationship between us.
Relations, friends and acquaintances knew about our friendship and some of them even referred to us as husband and wife.
Unfortunately, two years on, things changed suddenly and attempts made to repair the broken relationship had fallen on rocks.
My lover has failed to respond to my calls and would not make attempts to call me either. Though some friends who were eager to see us together as a couple tried their best, they could not succeed.
Finally, my friend got married to an influential rich man who promised to do everything for her, but the man died two years after their marriage leaving a child between them.
Five years after the death of her husband she has been pleading that she had made a bad decision and that l should re- reconsider her since l was not married.
According to her, she wished she were my wife because of my character and humility.
Advise me on the step to take.
Kwame, Kumasi.
Dear Kwame,
Your former girlfriend has taken a wrong decision by stepping you aside for a wealthy person. It was unfortunate that she did not consider the love that had existed between you and went ahead to make you suffer disappointment.
Having abandoned you for another person suggests that she has made you a second-rated lover and cannot be trusted.
Would she have been giving you considerations if the ex-husband were alive with all the pleasure and splendour surrounding her?
From all indications, she is the type who is susceptible to sweet promises and pleasure.
You should not hesitate in telling her that you are no longer interested in her. On the contrary, you are at liberty to make your own decision in this matter.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have just found out that the woman I want to marry was raped about two months ago but she told me nothing about it.
It was a cousin of mine who lives in her area who told me about it. When I asked her about it, she broke down and said it was true but she was afraid I would leave her.
But Obaa Yaa, I feel very hurt by what she has done and we are no longer on talking terms.
I want to hold on with the marriage, so I have even stopped going for marriage counselling. Can I trust a woman who would hide such a thing from me?
Kersi,
Osu.
Dear Kersi,
Rape is a very traumatic thing for women and most of them remain silent over the matter and do not go to the police because of the shame and humiliation.
They also get stigmatised by society.
It is an outright violation of a person’s privacy and dignity. What your girlfriend need now is your love and support.
Most often, women get raped through no fault of theirs but dread to tell their partners for fear of being rejected because they have been touched by another man.
I suggest you go back to your marriage counselors and discuss this problem with them.
They should be able to counsel the two of you through this crises.
I believe when you get over this, it will strengthen your love and support for each other and better prepare you for other issues that may arise in your marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am very angry with my landlord. He impregnated my niece and when I took the matter up, he has asked us to leave his house.
He has refused to pay for her upkeep and I have also refused to pay for the rest of the rent for the last year of my agreement with him.
I do not intend leaving my current accommodation. My landlord has threatened to kill me. My wife is also putting pressure on me that we should leave. What should I do?
A.B,
Bogoso.
Dear A.B
If your landlord has impregnated your niece then he must be made to bear the financial responsibility that comes with it.
Seek legal advice on how he should care for your niece and at the same time work out an accommodation arrangement since your agreement with him has not yet expired.
I hope your landlord would reason with you and make it possible for you to stay there. However, if he does not, you will need to report his threat of death to the police and begin to look for alternative accommodation.
But whether the accommodation issue is sorted or not, your landlord must take care of that pregnancy and child to be born even if it means taking him to court.
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