Obaa Yaa
Former girlfriend is still showing interest in me
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
We attended the same church and were very close and this closeness led to an intimate relationship between us.
Relations, friends and acquaintances knew about our friendship and some of them even referred to us as husband and wife.
Unfortunately, two years on, things changed suddenly and attempts made to repair the broken relationship had fallen on rocks.
My lover has failed to respond to my calls and would not make attempts to call me either. Though some friends who were eager to see us together as a couple tried their best, they could not succeed.
Finally, my friend got married to an influential rich man who promised to do everything for her, but the man died two years after their marriage leaving a child between them.
Five years after the death of her husband she has been pleading that she had made a bad decision and that l should re- reconsider her since l was not married.
According to her, she wished she were my wife because of my character and humility.
Advise me on the step to take.
Kwame, Kumasi.
Dear Kwame,
Your former girlfriend has taken a wrong decision by stepping you aside for a wealthy person. It was unfortunate that she did not consider the love that had existed between you and went ahead to make you suffer disappointment.
Having abandoned you for another person suggests that she has made you a second-rated lover and cannot be trusted.
Would she have been giving you considerations if the ex-husband were alive with all the pleasure and splendour surrounding her?
From all indications, she is the type who is susceptible to sweet promises and pleasure.
You should not hesitate in telling her that you are no longer interested in her. On the contrary, you are at liberty to make your own decision in this matter.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
