Obaa Yaa
My advice to young ladies
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 32-year- old graduate from one of the universities in Ghana. I deem it necessary to sound a word of caution to young ladies to concentrate on whatever they are doing and not to follow boys.
I was in love with one of my course mates though we were careful not to indulge in sex, we got to a point where complacency took the greater part of us and l got pregnant.
My pregnancy took me by surprise and the serene academic environment suddenly changed and l became confused.
In my confused state l considered many options but the need to cause abortion was on top of the list. Since l was at home when the pregnancy set in, my mother did not find it difficult to discover the mess l had landed in.
The cunning way she posed the question to me made it impossible for me to deny. With this discovery l decided to maintain the pregnancy and defer my course.
Though my boyfriend was not financially sound, l accepted odd jobs to enable me to go through the period until l was delivered of my baby.
Fortunately, my mother took care of my child while l returned to school and successfully completed with a good grade.
However, l must warn that it was not easy since l put a lot of stress on myself and on my parents.
I wish to advise young girls to concentrate on their studies and refrain from engaging in pre-marital sex, since this could end their education for ever.
Beatrice, Accra.
Dear Beatrice,
Experience is the best teacher and it is good to share your bitter experience with young girls who are growing and likely to pass through the problem you had.
You are lucky to have parents who were considerate and accepted despite the problem. I think it is essential to take her advice since you may not be as fortunate as she was.
Concentrate on your studies to avert embarrassment from boyfriends some of whom may disown the pregnancy and make you look disappointed before your parents.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I PROPOSED to a lady I have always admired during our university days. Interestingly, this woman was so much into me as well.
The only thing she always asks from a man is a gold chain, a new dress and sandals close to GH₵2,000.
According to her, if the man is able to get her all these items listed, then it is a win and yes for the man.
She demands these things because of the way a man treated her. Her argument is that if I should decide to end this relationship, she would have had something from me at least.
Obaa Yaa, is it worth venturing into?
Kelvin, Ofankor.
Dear Kelvin,
ANY love affair that is based on money or exchange of money for love or sex is an affair that begins on a wrong premise.
Such an affair is conditional and would encounter challenges sooner or later, because it is not grounded on mutual love and affection.
Besides, you are a student, how are you going to afford the gold chain? It looks as if this whole relationship would stress you. I will advise you to stay away from the lady.
Though you didn’t state your age in the letter, I plead with you to give yourself some time and relax. The beautiful one’s are not yet born.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
MY wife is a trader. She travels frequently to a neighbouring country almost every two weeks for two days.
While she was away, her step-sister comes over to do some cooking for me.
I have noticed that her step-sister has been making advances at me.
Recently, she entered the bathroom while I was in there, and realised I was bathing. She stood looking at me until I threw some water at her.
I intend to tell my wife about her sister’s behaviour, but friends say this may cause tension between the sisters. I need your view.
Ben, Togo.
Dear Ben,
IT is true that such revelation to your wife will cause some tension between the two sisters.
You can also sit your sister-in-law down and give her a stern warning. Let her understand that you intend to report her to her sister if she makes that mistake again.
Then you will have to see how you can arrange with your wife for her to cook enough food to store while she is away for those two days. If necessary, you may have to buy a fridge or freezer for that purpose. In that case, there would be no need for your sister-in-law to come and stay over. You will also have to take good care of the children if there are any.
A marriage only works when those involved are prepared to make sacrifices.
However, if after this arrangement this woman should persist with her advances, then bring the matter out into the open and let your wife and her family know about it.
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