Obaa Yaa
My advice to young ladies
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 32-year- old graduate from one of the universities in Ghana. I deem it necessary to sound a word of caution to young ladies to concentrate on whatever they are doing and not to follow boys.
I was in love with one of my course mates though we were careful not to indulge in sex, we got to a point where complacency took the greater part of us and l got pregnant.
My pregnancy took me by surprise and the serene academic environment suddenly changed and l became confused.
In my confused state l considered many options but the need to cause abortion was on top of the list. Since l was at home when the pregnancy set in, my mother did not find it difficult to discover the mess l had landed in.
The cunning way she posed the question to me made it impossible for me to deny. With this discovery l decided to maintain the pregnancy and defer my course.
Though my boyfriend was not financially sound, l accepted odd jobs to enable me to go through the period until l was delivered of my baby.
Fortunately, my mother took care of my child while l returned to school and successfully completed with a good grade.
However, l must warn that it was not easy since l put a lot of stress on myself and on my parents.
I wish to advise young girls to concentrate on their studies and refrain from engaging in pre-marital sex, since this could end their education for ever.
Beatrice, Accra.
Dear Beatrice,
Experience is the best teacher and it is good to share your bitter experience with young girls who are growing and likely to pass through the problem you had.
You are lucky to have parents who were considerate and accepted despite the problem. I think it is essential to take her advice since you may not be as fortunate as she was.
Concentrate on your studies to avert embarrassment from boyfriends some of whom may disown the pregnancy and make you look disappointed before your parents.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
