Obaa Yaa
Abortion made me lose interest in her
Dear ObaaYaa,
I find it interesting reading your column and wish to commend you for the able manner you have responded to letters sent to you.
I am deeply in love with a pretty lady and she also loves me just as l do. We are both happy together and wish to get married so that our happiness will continue. My friends are always happy when they see us together and support our decision to marry.
One interesting aspect of her life was that she was always around to lend her support in times of difficulties, a gesture l tried to reciprocate. Time without number, we did not hesitate to reaffirm our love for each other.
We were taken by surprise and embarrassed when she got pregnant. Though not ready for a child then l told her to take it easy and maintain the pregnancy as we quickly find an amicable solution to the problem.
l cited instances of ladies who had caused abortion and could not conceive when they needed to conceive. I explained to her that despite the initial mistake we made, she should maintain it and that l would not like to be associated with an abortion. Despite my explanation, she went ahead to abort the pregnancy.
Her behaviour has made me lose interest in her and l have planned not to marry her any longer.
Should l maintain my stand?
Kodzo, Accra.
Dear Kodzo,
The paper would like to thank you for reading this column to enrich your knowledge and also learn from it.
Reading this column constantly will provide you the opportunity to learn from the numerous problems that confront others and the solutions provided to guide you.
You have espoused the good qualities this lady possessed, and from your description she will be a good wife.
Why don’t you depend on the love you have for each other, forgive her for defying your orders and let bygones be bygones?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
