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Obaa Yaa

Abortion made me lose interest in her

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Dear ObaaYaa,

I find it interesting reading your column and wish to commend you for the able manner you have responded to letters sent to you.

I am deeply in love with a pretty lady and she also loves me just as l do. We are both happy together and wish to get married so that our happiness will continue.  My friends are always happy when they see us together and support our decision to marry.

One interesting aspect of her life was that she was always around to lend her support in times of difficulties, a gesture l tried to reciprocate. Time without number, we did not hesitate to reaffirm our love for each other.
We were taken by surprise and embarrassed when she got pregnant. Though not ready for a child then l told her to take it easy and maintain the pregnancy as we quickly find an amicable solution to the problem.

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l cited instances of ladies who had caused abortion and could not conceive when they needed to conceive. I explained to her that despite the initial mistake we made, she should maintain it and that l would not like to be associated with an abortion. Despite my explanation, she went ahead to abort the pregnancy.
Her behaviour has made me lose interest in her and l have planned not to marry her any longer.

Should l maintain my stand?
Kodzo, Accra.

Dear Kodzo,
The paper would like to thank you for reading this column to enrich your knowledge and also learn from it.
Reading this column constantly will provide you the opportunity to learn from the numerous problems that confront others and the solutions provided to guide you.
You have espoused the good qualities this lady possessed, and from your description she will be a good wife.
Why don’t you depend on the love you have for each other, forgive her for defying your orders and let bygones be bygones?

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Obaa Yaa

What happened

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A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.

The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”

The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”

The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”

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Man, “$1000”

The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”

The man silently took the money and left.

CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”

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The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.

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Obaa Yaa

My father claims he was cursed

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I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.

I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.

I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.

Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.

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Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.

I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.

Jojo, USA.

Dear Jojo,

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This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.

If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.

 Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.

Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.

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At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.

If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.

Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.

The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.

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