Obaa Yaa
Abortion made me lose interest in her
Dear ObaaYaa,
I find it interesting reading your column and wish to commend you for the able manner you have responded to letters sent to you.
I am deeply in love with a pretty lady and she also loves me just as l do. We are both happy together and wish to get married so that our happiness will continue. My friends are always happy when they see us together and support our decision to marry.
One interesting aspect of her life was that she was always around to lend her support in times of difficulties, a gesture l tried to reciprocate. Time without number, we did not hesitate to reaffirm our love for each other.
We were taken by surprise and embarrassed when she got pregnant. Though not ready for a child then l told her to take it easy and maintain the pregnancy as we quickly find an amicable solution to the problem.
l cited instances of ladies who had caused abortion and could not conceive when they needed to conceive. I explained to her that despite the initial mistake we made, she should maintain it and that l would not like to be associated with an abortion. Despite my explanation, she went ahead to abort the pregnancy.
Her behaviour has made me lose interest in her and l have planned not to marry her any longer.
Should l maintain my stand?
Kodzo, Accra.
Dear Kodzo,
The paper would like to thank you for reading this column to enrich your knowledge and also learn from it.
Reading this column constantly will provide you the opportunity to learn from the numerous problems that confront others and the solutions provided to guide you.
You have espoused the good qualities this lady possessed, and from your description she will be a good wife.
Why don’t you depend on the love you have for each other, forgive her for defying your orders and let bygones be bygones?
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
