Obaa Yaa
She is in another relationship
Dear ObaaYaa,
My brother is a quiet person who is very sympathetic and loves people. He is in a relationship with a lady for about three years and they have planned to marry this year.
Unfortunately, a friend who lives in the same community with this lady recently hinted me that my brother should be careful with her because she is in a serious relationship with another lover in her area.
This information has really surprised me and considering the love between my brother and this lady, and how far they have gone with their marriage preparations, l don’t know how he will receive the news.
Should l disclose this secret to incur the displeasure of my brother orshould l say it no matter the consequences?
Paulina, Accra.
Dear Paulina,
This is a dicey issue which must be treated with the utmost care that it deserves.
Since the two lovers are going to seal their relationship with a wedding, the right thing must be done in order not to incur the displeasure of an innocent party. Your brother will not forgive you if he gets to know after their wedding that you had information about the wife but refused to inform him.
Will you be happy if your brother father’s somebody’s child that will result in a ridicule?
Therefore, do the right thing at the appropriate time.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
