Features
The price of ‘I do’: Why money honesty is the real marriage insurance –Part 2
She did not find out he was cheating. She found out he was drowning.
It was two weeks after their beautiful wedding. The jollof was still in the fridge. A loan officer called her number-not his-and politely asked, “Madam, please tell your husband to pay his overdue loan. We have been calling him.”
That was how she discovered her new husband had entered their marriage with a hidden debt of over GH¢ 40,000. No cheating. No other woman. Just a financial secret.
And that is how many Ghanaian marriages begin to die. Not with a shout, but with a secret alert on a phone.
We prepare for the wedding. We do not prepare for the wallet.
What is money honesty?
Let me define it simply. Money honesty is not that you both earn the same. It is that you both know the same. It is the ability to sit down and say without fear:
“This is how much I earn.”
“This is how much I owe.”
“This is how I was raised to see money.”
“This is what scares me about money.”
Financial transparency is not about control. It is about clarity. You cannot build trust on top of secrets.
Many couples tell me, “Counsellor, we love each other, love will handle money.” I always answer, “Love is the car, but money honesty is the fuel. Love without honesty cannot move.”
How To Buy Your Marriage Insurance Today – My 5-Step Protocol
If you are engaged, newly married, or even 20 years in marriage, you can still fix this. At Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, this is what I give couples:
Step 1: The 90-Minute Money Naked Session.
No phones, no blame. Each partner writes down on paper: Monthly income, monthly debts, monthly family obligations, savings, and your biggest money fear. Then you exchange papers. Read it. Don’t react for 24 hours. Just absorb.
Step 2: Create OUR Money, YOUR Money, My Money.
You need three pots. OUR money for rent, food, school fees, utilities, properties, and the like— joint contribution. YOUR money and MY money—a small agreed allowance no one questions. This stops the feeling of being controlled.
Step 3: The No-Secret Debt Rule.
Agree from today: No new loan, no new hire purchase, no new family financial commitment above GHS 500 without telling each other first. Not permission, but information.
Step 4: Talk About Your Money Personality.
Are you a Spender or a Saver? Are you Risky or Safe? Most Ghanaian marriages are a Spender married to a Saver. Neither is wrong. But if you don’t understand your partner’s personality, you will call his saving “stinginess” and her spending “wastefulness.”
Step 5: Do a Monthly 30-Minute Money Date
Not an argument date. Light, with tea. “How did we do this month? What worried you? What should we plan for next month?” Couples who do this divorce far less.
My Final Word
Before you say “I Do” at the altar, have pre-marital counselling and also have the money talk on the sofa.
Ask your partner:
“If I lost my job today, how long can we survive?”
“What debt are you bringing into this marriage?”
“How much do you send to your family monthly and will that continue?”
If he or she gets angry that you asked, don’t get married yet. A person who is angry about accountability will be abusive about money.
Marriage insurance is not bought at Star Assurance or Enterprise. It is bought in honest conversations when no one is watching.
The wedding costs one day. The marriage costs a lifetime. Don’t enter a lifetime contract and covenant with hidden costs.
You can still insure your marriage today.
Source:
Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.
SKIP THE QUEUE, TAP THE NEWS
You can now read the Ghanaian Times and The Spectator newspapers from the comfort of your device via TimesNewsPlus.
Join our WhatsApp Channel: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBElzjInlqHhl1aTU27
I saw a video of two young men mistreating a guy in school uniform. The manner in which a man in a white shirt was stamping on the head of the student on the ground and kicking him, was heart wrenching. It was like a scene from an action movie.
Comments in the video made me to understand that the two people engaged in the dastardly attack on the chap on the ground were teachers. How teachers who had been trained by teacher training institutions could do what they did, defies logic; simply mind boggling.
This brings the issue of screening of would-be teachers to mind. Is there a psychological vetting system in place to identify unsuitable characters like those two teachers so that they are barred from being teachers or are helped to have the right mindset as teachers? We cannot continue to let the status quo remain and expect a different result.
Digitalisation of the economy has brought in its wake a whole lot of ways that seeks to address pertinent socio-economic issues. One of them is the introduction of the TraffiTech-GH system of regulating traffic flow without human intervention.
This clearly is an innovative way of enforcing compliance which obviously would ensure discipline and therefore safety on our roads. The drivers are raising some issues which are legitimate and must be addressed as soon as possible or should I rather say immediately.
If a Bus Stop is occupied by traders and therefore the drivers cannot stop for passengers to alight or board, they would have no option than to park in the road, blocking traffic flow, which would be an offence that TraffiTech-GH would capture as a violation and punish accordingly, by imposing a fine.
A very sad incident occurred last week resulting in the senseless murder of an uncle and her niece in the Greater Accra Region. The story making the rounds on social media was that, the uncle took a loan from the suspected murderer but failed to honour his obligation to pay back the money.
The suspect accompanied by a lady, went to the residence in the Sakumono area and a heated argument ensued, resulting in the suspect shooting the Uncle and her niece in the process. The first question that came to mind was that “Why did they not allow patience to carry the day?” If it is true that the uncle indeed owed the man, he ought to have maintained a certain demeanor that portrayed a willingness to pay the money and not to enrage the suspect in any way.
Again, if someone owes you, you do not take the law into your hands by going to confront him with a loaded gun in your pocket. The proliferation of small arms must be given serious attention.
The leaders in the educational sector need to sit up to address the misbehaviour of both students and teachers, especially the teachers who have been sexually harassing students. The fallout, in the recent Obuasi Senior High School (SHS) issue, has been an official statement directing teachers not to ask students to work in their bungalows.
This code has been in the books of the Ghana Education Service (GES) all this while. It is nothing new and so like everything else in this country, the issue is not the lack of laws but the enforcement. What I find surprising is that after breaking this code of ethics, the GES has not sacked the notorious Headmaster who evidence has been established beyond reasonable doubt that he had grossly flouted this regulation, repeatedly. This is a gross failure on the part of leadership, from the ministry level down to the school level. This must not be allowed to repeat itself. God bless.
SKIP THE QUEUE, TAP THE NEWS
You can now read the Ghanaian Times and The Spectator newspapers from the comfort of your device via TimesNewsPlus.
Buy Maps
Join our WhatsApp Channel: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBElzjInlqHhl1aTU27
Implant-based reconstruction recovery
Implant reconstruction is generally less invasive during the initial phase, allowing for a quicker return to baseline daily activities.
Initial healing window: Most patients resume light, non-strenuous daily tasks within 2 to 4 weeks.
Activity Restrictions: Heavy lifting, intense upper-body exercises, and high-impact movements are typically restricted for four to six weeks to allow the chest tissues to secure the implant or expander.
The expansion phase: If a temporary tissue expander is used, recovery includes periodic office visits over several months where the surgeon gradually adds sterile fluid to stretch the skin.
Physical therapy focus: Gentle arm and shoulder stretches begin early to prevent stiffness, frozen shoulder, and tight scar tissue formation around the implant pocket.
Autologous (Tissue-Based) reconstruction recovery
Autologous reconstruction (such as a DIEP flap) is a more complex, major operation because it involves two distinct surgical sites: the reconstructed chest mound and the donor harvest area (usually the lower abdomen).
Initial healing window: Requires a hospital stay of two to five days, with an overall recovery period of six to eight weeks before resuming normal routines.
Donor site management: Because abdominal muscles or tissues are involved, patients must avoid bending, twisting, or lifting anything heavier than a gallon of milk for at least six weeks to protect the deep facial repairs.
Mobility milestones: Recovery starts with short, gentle indoor walks immediately after surgery to promote circulation and prevent blood clots, gradually building up distance each week.
Physical therapy focus: Postural retraining and cautious core re-engagement once the surgeon gives medical clearance, ensuring the abdominal wall heals securely without strain.
Essential rehabilitation practices
Regardless of the chosen surgical path, effective physical therapy incorporates specialised techniques to restore physical freedom:
Scar mobilisation: Professional massage techniques to soften surgical scars and prevent tight binding of underlying tissues.
Lymphatic drainage: Gentle massage protocols to reduce swelling and encourage fluid movement through the lymphatic pathways.
Let’s pull together everything we have talked about into one simple, easy-to-understand guide.
Here is a summary of the complete journey-from understanding what breast cancer is and busting myths, to managing emotions and navigating surgery and recovery.
1. Is surgery a “cure”?
What it means: A mastectomy (removing the breast) is a powerful tool to take out the local tumor, but it isn’t an automatic, guaranteed cure on its own.
The Example: Think of it like pulling a weed out of a garden. You got the main plant out, but if tiny seeds or roots already spread elsewhere in the soil, you still need extra care (like medication) to make sure they don’t grow back.
2. The cancer’s “personality” (Biomarkers)
What it means: Not all breast cancers are the same. Doctors test the cancer cells for specific “locks and labels” (like hormones or proteins) to figure out how fast they grow and what medicine will stop them.
The Example: It’s like figuring out what kind of fuel a car engine takes (gasoline, diesel, or electricity) so you know exactly how to fix or run it.
3. Busting common myths
The Reality: Many rumors about breast cancer are false.
Men can get breast cancer too (about one per cent of cases) because everyone has a small amount of breast tissue.
Most lumps are harmless (like a harmless pebble in your shoe, not a dangerous nail).
Underwire bras and deodorants do not cause cancer.
Most people diagnosed (about 85 per cent) have no family history of it, which is why regular checks are vital for everyone.
By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson
SKIP THE QUEUE, TAP THE NEWS
You can now read the Ghanaian Times and The Spectator newspapers from the comfort of your device via TimesNewsPlus.
Buy Maps
Join our WhatsApp Channel: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBElzjInlqHhl1aTU27
