Obaa Yaa
Should l take her back after years of separation?
Dear ObaaYaa,
We got married and stayed under the same roof for six years during which God blessed us with two children. Though financial problems hit us hard, the delivery of the children, surprisingly, brought joy into the family.
As the head of the family, l ensured that the basic needs of the family were provided and life went on smoothly despite the hardships we went through.
All along, my wife complained about the harsh economic challenges that the family experienced. But despite the assurances l gave that things would be better, l realised that she was not satisfied with my explanation.
After a brief misunderstanding between us one day, my wife threatened to leave me and the children. Exactly a month after she had issued that threat, another quarrel ensued and she packed her things and left the house.
Five years after, she has returned and pleading that l should take her back.
Having considered the toil and pain that l had single-handedly gone through to cater for the children without her calling or coming round to find out how her children fared was unpardonable.
When l come to think about it, l get sick, worried and very angry about the sort of treatment meted out to us.
Surprisingly, we are both not married. What should l do?
Joseph- Takoradi.
Dear Joseph,
I thank God for the life of your family, especially having taken you and your children through these difficult moments of trials, frustrations and deprivations to reach this stage.
Additionally, you ought to be commended for the ability to withstand the problems associated with single-parenting. I am pretty sure many people would have given you bits and pieces of advice from time to time as regards the sort of action to take in order to address the problem.
Impressed with your spirit of resilience and the love that you have for your children, l have the feeling that you are capable of moving mountains and making things work to perfection.
There is no human perfection on earth and there were occasions that people lost their temper and misbehaved without considering the consequences.
Your former wife allowed anger to take the better part of her, and having come back to her senses, she is pleading for forgiveness. Christians should remember that though sinners, Christ died for their sins, a gesture they do not deserve. So you must also forgive your wife and accept her back for the sake of the children and for the fact that you are both single.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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