Obaa Yaa
Our reunion is lovely
Dear ObaaYaa,
Our lovely relationship which almost resulted in marriage ended abruptly because my lady became suspicious of my movements.
Though she visited me occasionally at home, it was quite embarrassing since all activities were given different interpretations and I became miserable and sometimes confused about the next step to take.
The situation degenerated since we had petty quarrels, frequent problems and there were occasions we would not talk to each other for weeks.
Unknown to us, our house owner, an elderly woman with five children who was very fond of me, later advised that we should separate for a couple of months and our problem would be solved.
Staying in the same compound house with her, she studied the two of us from a distance and used her rich experience to diagnose our problem.
I wrote to your column with this problem and you advised that we should keep our cool for time would heal our differences and things would be well.
We went apart as suggested and I was surprised that the period of separation rather brought out the best in the two of us to enrich our union which has now blossomed.
Kwame, Kasoa.
Dear Kwame,
Trials and temptations generally go to confirm one’s strength in life. The ability to emerge victorious after going through challenges keeps one stronger than ever and that is what you have been able to achieve.
Thank God that you have settled your differences amicably, no trace of suspicion and things are fine between the two of you.
Though the good counsel of the old woman has worked to perfection, the two of you must be commended for ensuring that peace has prevailed eventually.
Promote what will keep the relationship growing and guard against negative acts which are likely to mar your future marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
