Obaa Yaa
Our reunion is lovely
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Dear ObaaYaa,
Our lovely relationship which almost resulted in marriage ended abruptly because my lady became suspicious of my movements.
Though she visited me occasionally at home, it was quite embarrassing since all activities were given different interpretations and I became miserable and sometimes confused about the next step to take.
The situation degenerated since we had petty quarrels, frequent problems and there were occasions we would not talk to each other for weeks.
Unknown to us, our house owner, an elderly woman with five children who was very fond of me, later advised that we should separate for a couple of months and our problem would be solved.
Staying in the same compound house with her, she studied the two of us from a distance and used her rich experience to diagnose our problem.
I wrote to your column with this problem and you advised that we should keep our cool for time would heal our differences and things would be well.
We went apart as suggested and I was surprised that the period of separation rather brought out the best in the two of us to enrich our union which has now blossomed.
Kwame, Kasoa.
Dear Kwame,
Trials and temptations generally go to confirm one’s strength in life. The ability to emerge victorious after going through challenges keeps one stronger than ever and that is what you have been able to achieve.
Thank God that you have settled your differences amicably, no trace of suspicion and things are fine between the two of you.
Though the good counsel of the old woman has worked to perfection, the two of you must be commended for ensuring that peace has prevailed eventually.
Promote what will keep the relationship growing and guard against negative acts which are likely to mar your future marriage.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
