Relationship
The role of family and friends in choosing a spouse
When choosing a spouse, family and friends can play a vital role. They can provide support, guidance, and advice, but they can also exert pressure and influence your decision.
In this article, we will delve into the role of family and friends in choosing a spouse and provide guidance on how to navigate their influence.
Cultural and Traditional
Expectations of Family
Family can influence your choice of spouse. They usually have certain expectations or requirements for your partner, and they may also have concerns or reservations about your choice.
Your family may have certain cultural or traditional expectations for your spouse. For example, they may expect your spouse to be from the same cultural or religious background.
They may also expect your spouse to have certain qualities or characteristics that are valued in your culture or tradition.
Cultural expectations can influence our communication styles, conflict resolution strategies, and emotional expression. In many cultures, it is customary to show respect and deference to elders, while in others, it is more common to challenge authority and question tradition.
Social Status
The social status of your spouse may be a concern for your family. They may expect your spouse to have a certain level of education, income, or occupation. They may also expect your spouse to have certain social connections or relationships.
Social status shapes our identities and self-esteem. When choosing a spouse, social status can influence our preferences and priorities. Some people may place a high value on marrying someone with a high-paying job or a prestigious title.
Personality and Character
Family may have expectations around the personality and character of your spouse. Most times, they may expect your spouse to be kind, honest, and responsible. They may also expect your spouse to have certain values or morals.
The Influence of Friends
Friends can also be significant in choosing a spouse. They provide support and encouragement, but they can also exert pressure and influence your decision.
Friends can introduce you to potential partners within their social circle. This can be a great way to meet new people and potentially find a partner. However, remember that your friends may not always have your best interests at heart.
Social circle impacts our relationships. In selecting a partner to marry, social circle can influence our preferences and priorities. For instance, some people may place a high value on marrying someone within their social circle, while others may prefer to meet someone outside of their usual social network.
Support and Encouragement
Friends give emotional support and encouragement throughout the relationship. They can be a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. However, it is vital to remember that friends may not always be objective.
Yes, the influence of family and friends is undeniable in choosing a spouse. While their support and guidance can be valuable, it is crucial to know that the decision of who to marry is ultimately yours.
By communicating openly, setting boundaries, prioritising your relationship, and seeking outside help if needed, you can navigate the influence of family and friends and build a strong and healthy relationship.
To be continued…
Building and maintaining healthy relationships is an important part of looking after our mental health. Here are six top tips to support you:
1. Get to know yourself
Take time to appreciate yourself and connect with your emotions. Being aware of your feelings allows you to express yourself clearly and effectively. Poor emotional regulation can negatively affect your mental wellbeing.
2. Put in the work
Healthy relationships are built, not found. They require commitment and a willingness to accommodate each other’s needs.
3. Set and respect boundaries
Boundaries communicate what you appreciate and what you don’t like in a relationship. For example, respecting your need for alone time helps prevent unrealistic expectations and reduces pressure on the relationship.
4. Talk and listen
Disagreements are normal. Focus on listening to understand, not just to respond. Be open about your emotions and vulnerabilities with people you trust.
5. Let go of control
You can only control your actions, not those of others. Accepting this reduces stress and saves time while fostering healthier interactions.
6. Reflect and learn
Healthy expression of feelings helps you respond appropriately to others. Often, anger stems from hurt; recognizing this allows for better communication and relationship building. Reflect on the relationships that work well in your life, identify their positive qualities, and apply these lessons elsewhere.
As parents on a mission, raise children who are not just successful, but cultured, morally upright, and ready to lead. The secret? Blend biblical principles and traditional values with practical parenting strategies that work in today’s world.
Ghana’s culture is built on respect, community, and integrity, and when combined with Christian values like love and forgiveness, it is a powerful combo for parenting. Teaching children about traditions, biblical truths, or the importance of greeting elders is not just about preserving culture—it is about building character.
5 Practical steps to raise disciplined, cultured kids
1. Set clear expectations
Explain rules and values clearly. For example, “We respect elders because God says ‘Honour your father and mother’” (Ephesians 6:2). Also, “We respect elders because they have lived longer and know more.” Align household rules with cultural values like obedience and responsibility.
2. Lead by example
Children mimic what they see. Show respect to elders, speak kindly, and demonstrate honesty in daily life. Proverb: “If you show a child how to behave, they’ll behave.” Moreover, Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way they should go …” You can also introduce them to traditional games like “Oware” or “Ampe,” which teach strategic thinking.
3. Teach emotional intelligence
Help children label emotions (“You’re feeling angry”). Encourage resolving conflicts peacefully—like using “sorry” to mend relationships. Ghanaian proverb: “A smooth sea doesn’t make a skilled sailor.”
4. Assign responsibilities
Give age-appropriate chores (e.g., fetching water, helping with cooking). It builds accountability and pride in contributing. Link chores to cultural values like communal living (“We all help in the community”) and biblical stewardship.
5. Embed culture and faith in daily life
Cook traditional foods like Banku, Jollof rice, or Fufu, tell folktales, or celebrate local festivals with prayer and gratitude. Discuss values like ubuntu (I am because we are) to teach teamwork and empathy; alongside God’s love for unity (John 13:34-35). Make culture fun and relatable.
Some other awesome ways to make Ghanaian culture relatable for children include:
- Sharing popular Ghanaian artists like Joe Mettle, Uncle Ato, or Obaapa Christie, and teaching traditional dances like Kpanlogo or Adowa.
- Exploring Ghanaian crafts like kente weaving or bead-making through online workshops.
- Talking about festivals like Homowo (celebrated by the Ga people) or Aboakyer (a deer-hunting festival) using cool videos and pictures online.
Why this matters for Ghana’s future leaders
- Respect and integrity: Cultured children grow into leaders who respect others and uphold ethical standards.
- Community mindset: Values like cooperation and serving others (Galatians 5:13) prepare them to contribute positively to society.
- Resilience: Cultural roots give children a strong identity, helping them navigate life’s challenges.
Parenting in the digital age
- Balance screen time with cultural activities. Use Anansi stories or Bible stories on YouTube or play Oware to teach strategy and patience.
- Discuss social media etiquette through the lens of respect, responsibility, and biblical wisdom (Proverbs 15:4).
Final thought for Ghanaian parents
February 2026 is a fresh start. Blend Ghana’s timeless values with modern tools to raise leaders who are grounded, respectful, and ready to thrive.
To be continued …
Source: REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI and Counselor Blessing Offei’s insights on relationships, marriage, and parenting in Ghana. He is an author, mental health professional, lecturer, and marriage counsellor at COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE). He is the author of several books, including “Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage” and “A Counsellor’s Guide to Using ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Effectively.”
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