Obaa Yaa
Unpleasant day in my life
Dear ObaaYaa,
We fell in love through strange circumstances and since then the expression of love between us in the first few years has been lovely and attractive to hundreds of our admirers.
The two of us came to the realisation that we were for each other and nothing could separate us.
Though we were mates in the university and completed the same year, she was employed three months before l secureda job and things were moving on well with us.
With time, l discovered to my surprise a change in her character, as conversation between us was not as fluid as it used to be. She retorted to my comments and complained about steps that l took.
I was utterly surprised with the change of events and, therefore, sensed that the future looked bleak for the two of us.
Despite these disturbing challenges, l was shocked to the marrow when one evening she sent me a message that she was no longer interested in the relationship and for that matter we should end it there.
After reading the message l called her to find out whether she was the one who sent the message and she confirmed to me that she did. Since she failed to provide an answer, l suggested that we meet and trash out whatever the problem was but she demanded that l should give her time to think about it.
I did all l could but she would not change her mind. This was indeed an unpleasant day in my life. Since that day, l went through sleepless nights, but it later occurred to me that life must go on despite the challenges.
Since then the idea of getting a partner in life has eluded me.
What shall l do?
Kojo, Tema
Dear Kojo,
I would like to encourage you to be courageous, maintain your youthful exuberance and be optimistic in life.
You are not the first person to experience a failed relationship, having enjoyed the promises and assurances which pointed to a lovely marriage life. Additionally, you will definitely not be the last person to fall into such trouble so do not lose hope.
Be reminded that marriage thrives when genuine love is in place and the two lovers are compatible. Otherwise, whatever you do will not be successful.
Be grateful to God that you have identified your differences early for which reason she requested that you should break up the relationship.
This is the time for you to pick up the pieces and position yourself for your life partner who will love and understand all that you do. Be consoled with the words in scripture which says that we should be thankful to God in all circumstances.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
