Relationship
Toxic behaviours that pushes people away from you (2)
Being negative all the time!
Negativity can be contagious. And people are definitely going to stay clear of you if you have a negative mindset. A little negativity is bound to creep into everyone’s head. But if you allow it to reside there and grow, that’s where the problem begins.
Having no control over your emotions
You’re easily hurt and easily enraged. The tiniest of upset ticks you off. If this burst of emotions is too frequent, you should get to the root of it. A little slip of control once in a blue moon is excusable, but if it’s constant, you need help. Don’t be ashamed of seeking help when you need it. This will not only benefit you, but the people around you will also be able to take a sigh of relief.
Judging people too quickly
People and things often don’t appear to be how they actually are. Don’t jump to conclusions about anyone. Instead of judging them for their behaviour, try placing yourself in their shoes. Consider why they’re acting the way they are. If they’re agitated with you, even when you haven’t done anything, it may be because of someone or something else. People act out of pain and anger all the time. Be understanding rather than insensitive.
Being unkind
People are becoming more self-involved and less concerned with others by the minute. Humans cannot thrive without compassion. It is something that holds us all together. It can help you win over people. When you lack empathy, you have no trouble being hurtful to the next person. You fail to realise the emotional and mental damage you’re causing them. You’re giving people a reason to resent you. Learn to be thoughtful of others. Never be the reason behind someone’s pain.
Cheating
You dare to do immoral things when you know there isn’t going to be any accountability. Either you’re cheating in a relationship, or business, or any number of things, it is still wrong. Just because you can get away with it, doesn’t make it right. A healthy conscience wouldn’t allow you to do such a thing. When people place their trust in you, don’t make them pay for it.
Not being yourself
If you’re not comfortable with being yourself, how can you expect people to accept you either? Don’t try to change your ways just to fit in. Because once you do, you’re going to revert to your old ways. People will take you to be a pretentious liar. Be yourself at all times. You don’t need people to like you, just to accept you the way you are. Every one of us is different from the other. Appreciate the differences. However, if there is room for improvement, never hesitate from becoming better than you were yesterday.
Depending on others’ approval
The only people who live in such a way are those who aren’t sure of themselves. Lacking confidence in oneself can be very off-putting. And since you want everyone’s approval, you’ll go crazy trying to win everyone over. It’s tiring for everyone involved. The offside is that you can’t please everyone. And despite all your efforts, you’ll never have everyone’s approval. It sidetracks you from becoming the person you’re meant to be and the things you’re supposed to be doing. Cease making your life difficult.
Being obsessed with perfection
Perfection, like everything else, is not a constant thing. What might seem perfect in this very moment, could be a problem the very next. Be flexible. If you keep going after perfection, your search will be an endless one, and never fruitful. Be grateful for what you have and be patient. Allow things to work out the way they are meant to. With time you’ll come to realise that what you have is a perfect fit for all your needs.
Marriage is meant to be a safe place where two people build, grow, and support each other. But what happens when one partner’s need for admiration, control, and self-importance slowly erodes the emotional safety of the home?
As a marriage counsellor and mental health professional, I meet women who say, “I feel like I’m walking on eggshells at home,” or “No matter what I do, it’s never enough.” Often, what they are describing are patterns linked to living with a narcissistic husband.
Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Not every selfish or proud man is a clinical narcissist. But when these traits become consistent patterns that harm your mental health, self-worth, and sense of reality, it is time to pay attention.
Here are seven realistic signs you may be married to a narcissistic husband:
1. Everything is about him
Conversations, decisions, and even your achievements somehow circle back to him. If you share good news, he quickly shifts the focus to his own success or minimizes yours.
Over time, you feel invisible in your own marriage. A healthy marriage makes space for both partners’ voices. A narcissistic dynamic makes space for only one.
2. You feel constantly blamed and criticised
No matter how hard you try, you are made to feel inadequate. He may use subtle sarcasm, public criticism, or outright blame to keep you off balance. This is not constructive feedback—it is a tactic to control and diminish you. You begin to question your memory, judgment, and worth. In psychology, this is called “gaslighting,” and it is a common tool in narcissistic relationships.
3. Empathy is missing when you need it most
When you are sick, stressed, or grieving, a narcissistic husband often appears emotionally distant or irritated. He struggles to validate your feelings unless it benefits him. Real empathy requires stepping outside oneself. Narcissism keeps the focus inward, making emotional support feel transactional or absent.
4. Control disguised as “Love” or “Protection”
He may monitor your phone, dictate how you dress, or isolate you from friends and family under the guise of caring for you. Healthy love promotes freedom and trust. Narcissistic control seeks to keep you dependent and manageable. Over time, this erodes your independence and confidence.
5. Love feels conditional and performance-based
Affection, praise, and attention come when you meet his expectations. When you do not, you face silent treatment, anger, or withdrawal. This creates a cycle where you work harder to “earn” love that should be freely given. Marriage is not a performance stage—it’s a partnership.
6. He avoids accountability
When issues arise, he rarely apologizes sincerely or takes responsibility. Instead, he deflects, blames you, or rewrites the story to make himself the victim. A marriage cannot heal if one partner refuses to own their part. Accountability is the foundation of trust.
7. Your mental health is declining
Perhaps the clearest sign is what is happening inside you. Do you feel anxious, drained, confused, or less confident than when you got married? Living with chronic emotional invalidation and control takes a toll on your nervous system and self-esteem. Your mental health is a reliable indicator that something is wrong.
What can you do?
Recognizing these signs is not about labeling and leaving. It is about seeing clearly so you can make informed choices for your mental and emotional well-being.
1. Seek clarity through professional support: A trained counsellor can help you separate reality from manipulation and rebuild your self-worth.
2. Set healthy boundaries: Boundaries are not punishment. They are protection for your peace and dignity.
3. Build a support system: Isolate yourself less. Share with trusted friends, family, or support groups. You are not crazy, and you are not alone.
4. Prioritise your mental health: Therapy, journaling, prayer, and self-care are not selfish. They are necessary for survival and clarity.
Marriage should add to your life, not subtract from your sense of self. If you recognise these patterns, know this: naming the problem is the first step toward healing, whether that healing happens within the marriage or through creating a safer life for yourself.
Source:
Counselor Prince Offei is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health.
Aries
You are a warrior by nature, try to balance out your own needs to ensure you do not give all of yourself to another. Give yourself some love, too!
Taurus
Do not fret, the secrets being hidden are not bad and are beneficial to your future. In fact, you will be super happy when they are revealed. Then, you can make strategic moves forward.
Gemini
Your friendship circle is evolving, allowing you to meet new people who will become your best buds over time. Embrace the rare chance to connect and engage with others you meet now.
Cancer
Home is where your heart is this week. And the more reason for you to start making yourself feel cozier in your space now. Treat yourself to a few new items to decorate and spruce up your pad to get in the spring spirit. Add fresh.
Leo
Lean into your higher mind and vibe. This will give you the ultimate opportunity to achieve personal fulfillment and spiritual growth over the next few months. Doing so will encourage you to reach new personal heights.
Virgo
Standing up for yourself takes a lot of guts and confidence. Luckily for you, you are able to assert your view against others and defend yourself against those who aim to bring you down.
Libra
Making your mark on the world is challenging, but you are headed in the right direction. As long as you accept that you need to be a leader rather than an innovator in your endeavours, you can take on your goals with success.
Scorpio
You are being introspective and plotting your next moves on and off this week. Take this time and energy to strategise the upcoming sunny days, so you can use them to your advantage and achieve your desires.
Sagittarius
It is time to get creative! This means busting out your drawing board, paintbrushes and colour palette to make art. Whether it is for professional endeavours or for pleasure, you will be inspired to bring your passions to light
Capricorn
Work is becoming very chaotic at the moment and requires all of your time, but you have the chance to balance out your vibe and not focus on professional endeavours. Find your chill spot and lean into self-care.
Aquarius
You are feeling extra chatty and more able to engage with friends. Word of advice: think before you speak to avoid conflict with others.
Pisces
This week gives you the chance to restart, reboot and get motivated to take on new opportunities. The question is: Are you ready now?
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