Relationship
Toxic behaviours that pushes people away from you (2)
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Being negative all the time!
Negativity can be contagious. And people are definitely going to stay clear of you if you have a negative mindset. A little negativity is bound to creep into everyone’s head. But if you allow it to reside there and grow, that’s where the problem begins.
Having no control over your emotions
You’re easily hurt and easily enraged. The tiniest of upset ticks you off. If this burst of emotions is too frequent, you should get to the root of it. A little slip of control once in a blue moon is excusable, but if it’s constant, you need help. Don’t be ashamed of seeking help when you need it. This will not only benefit you, but the people around you will also be able to take a sigh of relief.
Judging people too quickly
People and things often don’t appear to be how they actually are. Don’t jump to conclusions about anyone. Instead of judging them for their behaviour, try placing yourself in their shoes. Consider why they’re acting the way they are. If they’re agitated with you, even when you haven’t done anything, it may be because of someone or something else. People act out of pain and anger all the time. Be understanding rather than insensitive.
Being unkind
People are becoming more self-involved and less concerned with others by the minute. Humans cannot thrive without compassion. It is something that holds us all together. It can help you win over people. When you lack empathy, you have no trouble being hurtful to the next person. You fail to realise the emotional and mental damage you’re causing them. You’re giving people a reason to resent you. Learn to be thoughtful of others. Never be the reason behind someone’s pain.
Cheating
You dare to do immoral things when you know there isn’t going to be any accountability. Either you’re cheating in a relationship, or business, or any number of things, it is still wrong. Just because you can get away with it, doesn’t make it right. A healthy conscience wouldn’t allow you to do such a thing. When people place their trust in you, don’t make them pay for it.
Not being yourself
If you’re not comfortable with being yourself, how can you expect people to accept you either? Don’t try to change your ways just to fit in. Because once you do, you’re going to revert to your old ways. People will take you to be a pretentious liar. Be yourself at all times. You don’t need people to like you, just to accept you the way you are. Every one of us is different from the other. Appreciate the differences. However, if there is room for improvement, never hesitate from becoming better than you were yesterday.
Depending on others’ approval
The only people who live in such a way are those who aren’t sure of themselves. Lacking confidence in oneself can be very off-putting. And since you want everyone’s approval, you’ll go crazy trying to win everyone over. It’s tiring for everyone involved. The offside is that you can’t please everyone. And despite all your efforts, you’ll never have everyone’s approval. It sidetracks you from becoming the person you’re meant to be and the things you’re supposed to be doing. Cease making your life difficult.
Being obsessed with perfection
Perfection, like everything else, is not a constant thing. What might seem perfect in this very moment, could be a problem the very next. Be flexible. If you keep going after perfection, your search will be an endless one, and never fruitful. Be grateful for what you have and be patient. Allow things to work out the way they are meant to. With time you’ll come to realise that what you have is a perfect fit for all your needs.
1. Talk early and often
It is never too early to start talking with and listening to your children about the first day of school. Ask them what they think school will be like and see if they have any specific concerns so that you will have time to address it over the next couple of weeks. It is totally normal to have first day jitters.
2. Go to the orientation
If your child’s school is hosting an orientation or back-to-school night, take advantage of it. Often children are worried that they will not know how to get to the bathroom, where to eat lunch, or how to get to a locker. If your school does not offer one or you are unable to make it, ask the teacher if it would be possible to stop by for a visit. Teachers are usually in their classrooms prepping for the new school year in advance.
3. Meet the teacher
For kids, wondering if they will like their teacher is a big source of fear. If your child isn’t comfortable in the teacher’s classroom, he or she will be less likely to be ready to learn. Many teachers will make themselves available for a phone or video call or will return an email if a visit is not possible.
4. For younger children, read books or watch educational cartoons
In August, local libraries will often display books about starting school or going to a new school. These materials can help children read about and see what a typical day will consist of and what they will learn in school.
5. Take your kids shopping with you
Your kids will be more excited to use their back-to-school supplies if they picked them out. Doing so will help them feel prepared and will also provide an opportunity to talk about how the new supplies might be used in the coming year.
6. Set up school “zones” and establish clear expectations
At home, establish a location for school materials such as a place to put backpack and lunchbox, and set up a distraction-free homework zone (like the kitchen table with the TV turned off and phones/tablets put away). Set up homework and study times (for example, Monday–Thursday from 3:30–5 pm) to help manage expectations and build and maintain good routines.
7. Practice your new routine
Both children and adults can benefit from practicing the new school routine one to two weeks before school actually starts. Stage a morning dry run to see how long it takes you and your children to get out of the door in the morning. It will not only help you predict how early you and your kids need to get up, but your children will benefit from learning what to expect each weekday.
Trust is the glue that holds relationships and marriages together. Without it, even the strongest bonds can crumble.
As a couple navigates the ups and downs of life, trust serves as the foundation upon which their love, commitment, and loyalty are built. But what happens when trust is broken?
How can couples work to rebuild and strengthen this essential component of their relationship?
Trust is not just a feeling; it is a choice. It is a decision to be vulnerable, to be open, and to believe in the goodness of your partner. When trust is present, relationships flourish.
Communication becomes easier, conflicts are resolved more efficiently, and intimacy deepens. Trust allows couples to feel secure, to know that they can rely on each other through life’s challenges.
Signs of trust issues
So, how do you know if trust is an issue in your relationship? Look out for these signs:
– Suspicion and jealousy
– Defensiveness and accusations
– Lack of communication or withholding information
– Dishonesty or hiding the truth
– Emotional distance or disconnection
How to build trust
Fortunately, trust can be built and rebuilt. Here are some practical steps couples can take:
1. Communicate openly: Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Be honest, transparent, and open with your partner. Share your thoughts, feelings, and desires in a respectful and empathetic manner.
2 Be reliable: Follow through on your commitments. Show your partner that you are dependable and responsible.
3. Show vulnerability: Be willing to be vulnerable with your partner. Share your fears, hopes, and dreams with them.
4. Practice forgiveness: Let go of grudges and resentments. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning hurtful behavior, but rather releasing the negative emotions associated with it.
5. Cultivate intimacy: Intimacy is not just physical; it’s also emotional. Make time for regular date nights, meaningful conversations, and affectionate gestures.
Rebuilding Trust
If trust has been broken, it is essential to work on rebuilding it. This process takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners. Here are some steps to take:
1. Acknowledge the hurt: Recognise the pain caused by the breach of trust. Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and validate their experience.
2. Identify the cause: Understand the reasons behind the breach of trust. Is it a lack of communication, infidelity, or something else? Identifying the root cause can help you address the issue more effectively.
3. Work together: Rebuilding trust requires a joint effort. Work together to establish new patterns of behavior, communicate openly, and rebuild intimacy.
4. Seek help: If needed, seek the help of a couples therapist or counselor. A professional can provide guidance and support as you work to rebuild trust. Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) can be helpful in that vein.
Building trust in a relationship or marriage takes work, commitment, and patience. It is a journey that requires effort from both partners. By communicating openly, being reliable, showing vulnerability, practicing forgiveness, and cultivating intimacy, couples can strengthen their bond and build a foundation of trust that will last a lifetime. Remember, trust is not something that can be demanded; it is something that must be earned and nurtured. With time, effort, and dedication, couples can build a strong, trusting relationship that brings joy, happiness, and fulfillment to their lives.
To be continued …
Source:
Counsellor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.
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