Obaa Yaa
Terminate pregnancy or will not accept baby
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We became lovers after school and this gentleman promised to marry me. With time, l got pregnant but he insisted l should abort the pregnancy since he was unemployed.
l got rid of the pregnancy and this remained a secret between us.
After two years, l became pregnant again and my lover once more suggested that l should abort this second pregnancy which l refused.
He threatened to disown the child if l chose to maintain the pregnancy. l ignored his threats and informed my parents about the mess which l had caused.
Though l was abused and ridiculed, my parents later followed up to the gentleman’s parents who backed their son’s claims that he was not responsible for my pregnancy.
Enraged though, my father decided to accept the child as one of his children.
Having gone through embarrassment and mental agony, my child is doing well in school and this funny man is trying to claim the child.
l have decided not to mind him. Have l taken the right decision?
Marian, Accra.
Dear Marian,
You must be commended for the bold decision you took under this trying conditions. Your parents must also be commended for standing by you to overcome this problem.
The possibility of becoming barren after the second abortion was great, hence your decision was appropriate.
You must ignore this gentleman but if he still insists, your parents should go to court and stop him from harassing you.
Secondly, your parents should calculate the expenditure they had made on you from the time you became pregnant through to the time you were delivered of the child and what you had spent to look after the child and ask the man to pay it all off.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
