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Obaa Yaa

Terminate pregnancy or will not accept baby

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

We became lovers after school and this gentleman promised to marry me. With time, l got pregnant but he insisted l should abort the pregnancy since he was unemployed.

l got rid of the pregnancy and this remained a secret between  us.

After two years, l became pregnant again and my lover once more suggested that l should abort this second pregnancy which l refused.

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He threatened to disown the child if l chose to maintain the pregnancy. l ignored  his threats and informed my parents about the mess which l had caused.

Though l was abused and ridiculed, my parents later followed up to the gentleman’s parents who backed their son’s claims that he was not responsible for my pregnancy.

Enraged though, my father decided to accept the child as one of his children.

Having gone through embarrassment and mental agony, my child is doing well in school and this funny man is trying to claim the child.

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l have decided not to mind him. Have l taken the right decision?

Marian, Accra.

Dear Marian,

You must be commended for the bold decision you took under this trying conditions.   Your parents must also be commended for standing by you to overcome this problem.

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The possibility of becoming barren after the second abortion was great, hence your decision was appropriate.

You must ignore this gentleman but if he still insists, your parents should go to court and stop him from harassing you.

Secondly, your parents should calculate the expenditure they had made on you from the time you became pregnant through to the time you were delivered of the child and what you had spent to look after the child and ask the man to pay it all off.

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Obaa Yaa

Her grandma may become a hindrance

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 20 and she is 19. We have been lovers for the past four months and have promised to get married to each other.

We love each other badly that one cannot leave the other for long. Our relatives know about our affair except her grandmother who will be in the country soon.

My problem is that, I doubt if the grandmother will be excited about this relationship. Her grandmother is very strict and I doubt if this relationship can be successful.

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Her grandmother has been like a mother and everything to her, so her final decision may count.

We have promised each other to stay holy and clean.

Lartey,

Sunyani

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Dear Lartey,

I don’t think your fears are justified if the girl’s parent do not object to your relationship with her.

What makes you think her grandmother will oppose the relationship if her parents endorse it?

Be positive about the relationship. There is no cause for alarm.

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I am very happy you guys are staying holy and clean until marriage.

Both of you are student and need to be careful about any decision you take.

I believe you should try as much as possible to support each other and stay away from any negative act.

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Obaa Yaa

Is my girlfriend cursed?

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 I have a girlfriend who is ‘allergic’ to me and ‘allergic’ to men in general.

Because of this, I barely touch her. I do not sit too close to her. I do not even hold her hands for long.

 We have tried before. Even recently, we tried again. At first, things looked normal.

Then suddenly she lifted her hands and started scratching her back aggressively. We stopped immediately. Moments later, she ran to the bathroom and started vomiting.

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She spent almost four hours there, weak, nauseous, and drained.

 Watching someone you love suffer while you cannot do anything about it is painful. Is it a curse or an allergy?

 Hello Christian,

What you’re describing sounds frightening and emotionally exhausting for both of you. But it is important not to jump to the idea of a curse.

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 Severe reactions after touch, closeness, stress, or intimacy can sometimes be linked to medical conditions, allergies, anxiety responses, trauma, or psychosomatic reactions.

The safest and most loving step is encouraging her to see qualified doctors, especially an allergist and mental health professional, so the cause can be properly understood.

Your patience already shows deep care. Do not blame yourself or search for supernatural explanations first.

Focus on support, medical guidance, emotional safety, and honest communication while protecting both her health and your relationship.

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