Obaa Yaa
I am hurt by his actions
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As teenagers, we attended the same Senior High School and became close friends after some years.
Having gotten satisfied with the hope that we could spend our lives as a lovely couple, we planned to tie the knot.
Unfortunately, l lost my father through a fatal motor accident and this had affected our scheduled wedding.
We had no choice but to reschedule our wedding to enable me to concentrate on my father’s funeral.
He stood by me during our period of grief through to the burial of my late father.
During the period, l discovered that my fiancé had changed since he did not have time for me as he used to.
When l complained about change in his attitude, he told me that he wanted me to relax after l was done with my father’s funeral.
At the time the dust had settled for us to get back to serious business, my fiancé had changed and did not have time for me again.
The change in attitude gave me the premonition that there was something bad going on in our relationship.
Three weeks ago, l deduced from his statement that we could not live as a couple in the future.
However, l tried to conceal my anger and prayed that things should change.
A few weeks later, he disclosed to me that he was no longer interested in the relationship because his mother was against it.
l was embarrassed and planned never to accept proposal from any gentleman in life.
Should l go by my decision?
Tina, Takoradi.
Dear Tina,
l feel sorry that but for the demise of your father, your scheduled marriage with this gentleman could have taken place.
It is unfortunate that your relationship has ended this way.
l can envisage the pains you are experiencing now. Take heart and brace up for a better future because you cannot understand God’s plan for you. This marriage could have ended on a bad note.
Though l cannot tell how old you are, l must advise you not to shut your doors to any gentleman who may express the interest to marry you in the future.
You are yet to meet your Mr right.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your highly esteemed paper and I would like to know whether some amount of money is paid to those who write short stories for publication on the children’s page of your Weekly Spectator.
I wrote a short story which was published last month, and my friends who saw it told me that a token will be paid to anyone whose story is published.
A.J., Kwabenya.
Dear A.J.,
We don’t pay for short stories published on our children’s page. That opportunity is to encourage school children to develop the habit of writing. We believe that by publishing their short stories, they’ll be encouraged to write more.
The paper is open to everyone who wants to share ideas or write about a concern.
