Obaa Yaa
I am hurt by his actions
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As teenagers, we attended the same Senior High School and became close friends after some years.
Having gotten satisfied with the hope that we could spend our lives as a lovely couple, we planned to tie the knot.
Unfortunately, l lost my father through a fatal motor accident and this had affected our scheduled wedding.
We had no choice but to reschedule our wedding to enable me to concentrate on my father’s funeral.
He stood by me during our period of grief through to the burial of my late father.
During the period, l discovered that my fiancé had changed since he did not have time for me as he used to.
When l complained about change in his attitude, he told me that he wanted me to relax after l was done with my father’s funeral.
At the time the dust had settled for us to get back to serious business, my fiancé had changed and did not have time for me again.
The change in attitude gave me the premonition that there was something bad going on in our relationship.
Three weeks ago, l deduced from his statement that we could not live as a couple in the future.
However, l tried to conceal my anger and prayed that things should change.
A few weeks later, he disclosed to me that he was no longer interested in the relationship because his mother was against it.
l was embarrassed and planned never to accept proposal from any gentleman in life.
Should l go by my decision?
Tina, Takoradi.
Dear Tina,
l feel sorry that but for the demise of your father, your scheduled marriage with this gentleman could have taken place.
It is unfortunate that your relationship has ended this way.
l can envisage the pains you are experiencing now. Take heart and brace up for a better future because you cannot understand God’s plan for you. This marriage could have ended on a bad note.
Though l cannot tell how old you are, l must advise you not to shut your doors to any gentleman who may express the interest to marry you in the future.
You are yet to meet your Mr right.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
