Obaa Yaa
Can l marry from this family?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a beautiful lady who has the qualities of a good mother. All this while, we have made feverish preparations towards getting married as soon as our financial conditions improve.
Unfortunately, my father has revealed to me that my marriage to the lady would not be possible because he had had a long relationship with an aunt of my fiancé.
Since this revelation, l have not been able to sleep or eat. It looks as though my world was going to crumble within days and life did not mean anything to me.
I deliberately brought my aunt into the discussion so that she could convince my father to change his view. Despite all persuasions he has failed to change his mind.
What shall l do since my father is adamant, and this lady is very dear to my heart and l cannot do without her?
Frank- Koforidua.
Dear Frank,
Culture is an integral part of our lives, as such we must adhere to the cultural practices of our areas.
Since your father was in relationship with your fiancée’s aunt, it would not be prudent for you to marry the lady of your heart.
This explains why it is necessary for family elders to do thorough background checks of prospective members who intend to marry. Such elders look for possible problems to ensure that a good decision is taken.
Try to find out if it would be possible to offer sacrifices to appease the gods, or reverse whatever infringements that might have been committed.
Until such options are complied with, you cannot marry this lady of your heart.
Obaa Yaa
Her attitude has changed
Dear Obaa Yaa,
There is something happening that could ruin the relationship with my girlfriend if it is not checked.
My girlfriend has a beautiful chocolate complexion which I am proud of.
In recent times, she has started bleaching in a manner I find annoying.
When I asked her why she is bleaching, she was unable to give me any tangible reason except to say that she wants the skin to be smooth.
I have, however, learnt from a friend of her’s that she admires another friend who has bleached her skin.
Because of that, I have warned her about the dangers and ramifications involved in bleaching but she has turned a blind eye.
One annoying thing is that after spending all her money on bleaching soaps and creams, she persistently worries me for money as if I am indebted to her.
I am beginning to think that she is bleaching to attract other men just as the friend is doing.
I am thinking of breaking up with her because she is not ready to listen to me.
Asare, Accra.
Dear Asare,
You don’t need to break up with her because she is bleaching. Try and coax this girl to give up this bad habit and if possible get her a pastor and parents to talk to her.
If this should fail, give her an ultimatum to give up this habit or risk losing the relationship.
Bleaching has side effects and can cause skin cancer.
You can also advise her to do the skin therapy with a good body cream.
Obaa Yaa
I’m ashamed of my stature
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 18 years and I have developed a stature I am ashamed of.Obaa, at first I was slim, smart and beautiful.
Within a few months, I have grown fat. When I walk around with my friends, they just make fun of me.
I realised the weight gain is affecting my health. I am finding it difficult to walk for long. That is making me sick all the time.
I am worried, please help me to get back to my normal stature.
Dora,
Konongo
Dear Dora,
You must first determine if your sudden excessive weight is as a result of eating too much or because of some drugs you are taking.
If it is because of some drugs, then see a doctor for an advice.
However, if it is because of excessive eating, then try to cut down the quantity of food you eat and then begin to exercise. Try and enroll in a keep –fit club or gymnasium.
Some people also put on weight when they are stressed, so try and have enough rest.
If you know a dietician, seek counselling so you don’t end up suffering for anorexia
