Obaa Yaa
Can l marry from this family?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a beautiful lady who has the qualities of a good mother. All this while, we have made feverish preparations towards getting married as soon as our financial conditions improve.
Unfortunately, my father has revealed to me that my marriage to the lady would not be possible because he had had a long relationship with an aunt of my fiancé.
Since this revelation, l have not been able to sleep or eat. It looks as though my world was going to crumble within days and life did not mean anything to me.
I deliberately brought my aunt into the discussion so that she could convince my father to change his view. Despite all persuasions he has failed to change his mind.
What shall l do since my father is adamant, and this lady is very dear to my heart and l cannot do without her?
Frank- Koforidua.
Dear Frank,
Culture is an integral part of our lives, as such we must adhere to the cultural practices of our areas.
Since your father was in relationship with your fiancée’s aunt, it would not be prudent for you to marry the lady of your heart.
This explains why it is necessary for family elders to do thorough background checks of prospective members who intend to marry. Such elders look for possible problems to ensure that a good decision is taken.
Try to find out if it would be possible to offer sacrifices to appease the gods, or reverse whatever infringements that might have been committed.
Until such options are complied with, you cannot marry this lady of your heart.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your highly esteemed paper and I would like to know whether some amount of money is paid to those who write short stories for publication on the children’s page of your Weekly Spectator.
I wrote a short story which was published last month, and my friends who saw it told me that a token will be paid to anyone whose story is published.
A.J., Kwabenya.
Dear A.J.,
We don’t pay for short stories published on our children’s page. That opportunity is to encourage school children to develop the habit of writing. We believe that by publishing their short stories, they’ll be encouraged to write more.
The paper is open to everyone who wants to share ideas or write about a concern.
