Obaa Yaa
His outburst scares me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been in friendship close to seven months and things have been going on smoothly to my delight.
He has very good looks, fine disposition, very accommodating and has promised that he would do all within his means to marry me.
Unfortunately, l have discovered another side of him which has frightened me to the marrow.
Recently, there was a little misunderstanding between him and a friend of his. The exchanges between the two gentlemen were serious.
Though my fiancé had been wrongly accused of the issue which triggered the misunderstanding, he has vowed never to forgive the gentleman involved.
Finally, the two intimate friends who did almost everything together are no more talking to each other. Some of their colleagues had attempted to settle the matter, but without success.
Eventually, the matter is in court and judgement is yet to be delivered.
Being the calm person that l am, and for the fact that l cannot stand quarrels of such magnitude, l have made up my mind to end the relationship since l cannot tell when a powerful ‘axe’ of this sort will land on my head to embarrass me.
l have taken my decision but l would like to listen to your opinion on this matter.
Aba, Cape Coast.
Dear Aba,
I would like to commend you for the bold initiative you have taken to decide on your future irrespective of the flamboyant gentleman of your heart.
A period for courtship is an occasion for two love birds to study each other, be satisfied and equally prepared to handle the shortcomings or challenges of your partner.
The would-be -couple must come to the realisation that they are compatible and for that matter can live together.
This is not a period to indulge in sex, because taking such a position would prevent one from taking definitive decision, if one would like to back out of the relationship.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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