Obaa Yaa
His outburst scares me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been in friendship close to seven months and things have been going on smoothly to my delight.
He has very good looks, fine disposition, very accommodating and has promised that he would do all within his means to marry me.
Unfortunately, l have discovered another side of him which has frightened me to the marrow.
Recently, there was a little misunderstanding between him and a friend of his. The exchanges between the two gentlemen were serious.
Though my fiancé had been wrongly accused of the issue which triggered the misunderstanding, he has vowed never to forgive the gentleman involved.
Finally, the two intimate friends who did almost everything together are no more talking to each other. Some of their colleagues had attempted to settle the matter, but without success.
Eventually, the matter is in court and judgement is yet to be delivered.
Being the calm person that l am, and for the fact that l cannot stand quarrels of such magnitude, l have made up my mind to end the relationship since l cannot tell when a powerful ‘axe’ of this sort will land on my head to embarrass me.
l have taken my decision but l would like to listen to your opinion on this matter.
Aba, Cape Coast.
Dear Aba,
I would like to commend you for the bold initiative you have taken to decide on your future irrespective of the flamboyant gentleman of your heart.
A period for courtship is an occasion for two love birds to study each other, be satisfied and equally prepared to handle the shortcomings or challenges of your partner.
The would-be -couple must come to the realisation that they are compatible and for that matter can live together.
This is not a period to indulge in sex, because taking such a position would prevent one from taking definitive decision, if one would like to back out of the relationship.
Obaa Yaa
I am sexually attracted to children
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man residing in Tamale. I am 40 years old and I have got my own business which is going on successfully.
The nature of my job had made me richer and am able to afford anything that I want.
My only problem is that I need a partner but I don’t fall in love with matured women. I am attracted to children.
I have had an encounter with so many women who are ‘marriage materials and type’ but none of them touch my heart.
In my previous relationship, the girl I dated was 15 years. She took me as a big brother but to me she was my lover.
Now that she is 22 and I can marry her, I have lost interest in her.
Obaa Yaa, what do you think is actually wrong with me? Is it normal? How can I have a partner if I continue to feel this way?
Dabo, Tamale.
Dear Dabo,
I don’t even know how to start this conversation. It is not everything that your heart desires that you should go for.
You need to understand that your desire for children sexually is criminal under the laws of this land so it should not be entertained.
I suggest you seek the assistance of psychologist to advise you or else you might end up in jail.
You might be suffering from pedophilia which is a condition of being sexually attracted to children. You need psychiatric help.
I suggest you also speak to your pastors to help you in prayers, in case it might be spiritual.
Obaa Yaa
The banker deceived me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a banker who told me he wasn’t married and therefore, wanted to marry me.
We started going out and spending time together. He went to the extent of going to see my parents for the engagement list.
It was only after I got pregnant when he confessed he was already married and could not afford to marry me as a second wife.
The problem is that for the past five years, this man has refused to provide for the upkeep of the child.
He is not showing any commitments towards the child and making things difficult for me.
I am currently finding it difficult to take care of the child’s feeding and clothing.
My child is very brilliant at school and my fear is that I cannot give him the best of education since I am not working.
Prisca, Dodowa.
Dear Prisca,
Your story is a sad and unfortunate one. He just ‘toyed’ with you and was successful.
It’s about time women check about the men who propose to them.
And in the first place, why were you intimate with him, knowing very well that you were not married?
Report the matter to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, formerly known as Women and Juvenile Unit (WAJU) immediately.
They would summon him and question him about the upkeep of his child and employ legal means to make him accept responsibility for the child.
