Odd News
Be patient. Listen
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I CAME home from work. I was tired. I sat down on the sofa. Put my feet up. My wife brought me a glass of water. My son gave me a sheet of paper:
English Lang. 17 per cent
Biology 35 per cent
Mathematics 40 per cent
Physics 37 per cent
Chemistry 42 per cent
Economics 12 per cent
Agric. Science 19 per cent
Religion Knowl. ABS
Geography 22 per cent
I lost my temper. And started shouting:
“What is this? All the time on phone and TV. How dare you show me such marks?”
My Wife said: “Be patient. Listen….”
I told her: “Shut up! It’s your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good and never serious at all.”
My Wife said: “Oh! Really?”
I said: “No one in our family has performed so badly ever.”
My Son said: “Dad, I am sorry. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this. This is your old school report card, dated July 27, 1980 sir.”
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I said to my wife “1-0”.
She farted and said “1 all”.
I farted and said “2-1”.
She farted and said “2 all”.
I then had a wet fart which soiled the bed.
My wife said, “What was that?”
I said “Half time. Switch sides”.
A drunk man comes home late. His wife sees him and angrily exclaims, “Are you drunk again?!”
The man shakes his head and answers, “No, I am not drunk!”
“Okay, then prove it. There’s a clock over there. Can you tell the time?”
“Of course I can!” says the man.
He turns toward the clock and screams, “Hey! I am not drunk!”
