Obaa Yaa
Should I ignore my child’s DNA result?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a father of two children from my previous marriage.
Unfortunately, the marriage ended because of my ex-wife’s persistent toxic behaviour, which began to affect not only our business but also the emotional well-being of our children. Eventually, the court took notice of the situation and granted me full custody of the children, who are now 13 and 10 years old.
Since then, their mother has been largely absent from their lives. She barely checks on them and once told me, rather bluntly, “Since they mean more to you, don’t look for me again.”
I have done my best to raise them with love, stability, and a sense of security despite her absence.
Recently, I was given a life-changing opportunity to travel abroad for work, with the option to relocate with both children. As part of my preparation, I decided to conduct a DNA test, mainly for personal clarity.
The results have left me deeply shaken.
They revealed that my younger child is not biologically mine, while the older one is.
Now, I find myself in a difficult position. The company offering me employment has structured my benefits based on the number of dependents I declared. One of the children I have listed is, by blood, not mine.
I am confused, hurt, and unsure of the right thing to do both morally and practically.
Obaa Yaa, please, what should I do?
Kenneth, Koforidua.
Dear Kenneth
What you are facing goes beyond DNA. It is about the meaning of fatherhood. For 10 years, you have raised this child with love, care, and responsibility.
That bond is real, and the child is innocent in this situation.
Before making any decision, reflect on whether this new information will truly change how you see or treat the child who has always known you as their father.
On the practical side, consider the legal and employment implications carefully. Since you have full custody, both children are still legally your dependents, and many systems recognise guardianship, not just biology.
However, it would be wise to quietly review your employment terms or seek legal advice to ensure that you are not unintentionally putting yourself at risk, especially with relocation abroad.
Ultimately, this decision is about both compassion and responsibility. Think about the emotional impact on the children and whether separating them would do more harm than good. You have an opportunity to shape their future. Approach it with both wisdom and heart, taking time to decide what kind of father you want to continue to be.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 20 and she is 19. We have been lovers for the past four months and have promised to get married to each other.
We love each other badly that one cannot leave the other for long. Our relatives know about our affair except her grandmother who will be in the country soon.
My problem is that, I doubt if the grandmother will be excited about this relationship. Her grandmother is very strict and I doubt if this relationship can be successful.
Her grandmother has been like a mother and everything to her, so her final decision may count.
We have promised each other to stay holy and clean.
Lartey,
Sunyani
Dear Lartey,
I don’t think your fears are justified if the girl’s parent do not object to your relationship with her.
What makes you think her grandmother will oppose the relationship if her parents endorse it?
Be positive about the relationship. There is no cause for alarm.
I am very happy you guys are staying holy and clean until marriage.
Both of you are student and need to be careful about any decision you take.
I believe you should try as much as possible to support each other and stay away from any negative act.
I have a girlfriend who is ‘allergic’ to me and ‘allergic’ to men in general.
Because of this, I barely touch her. I do not sit too close to her. I do not even hold her hands for long.
We have tried before. Even recently, we tried again. At first, things looked normal.
Then suddenly she lifted her hands and started scratching her back aggressively. We stopped immediately. Moments later, she ran to the bathroom and started vomiting.
She spent almost four hours there, weak, nauseous, and drained.
Watching someone you love suffer while you cannot do anything about it is painful. Is it a curse or an allergy?
Hello Christian,
What you’re describing sounds frightening and emotionally exhausting for both of you. But it is important not to jump to the idea of a curse.
Severe reactions after touch, closeness, stress, or intimacy can sometimes be linked to medical conditions, allergies, anxiety responses, trauma, or psychosomatic reactions.
The safest and most loving step is encouraging her to see qualified doctors, especially an allergist and mental health professional, so the cause can be properly understood.
Your patience already shows deep care. Do not blame yourself or search for supernatural explanations first.
Focus on support, medical guidance, emotional safety, and honest communication while protecting both her health and your relationship.
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