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The ‘wahalla sikaman teenage girls’ 

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A househelp cleaning the floor
A househelp cleaning the floor

THESE days wives are very careful when recruiting house helps who are also called maids or maidservants.

In the past, such recruitment exercise took into consideration that a maid must be beautiful enough to brighten the home and to impress visitors with her charming smile and good shape. In a nutshell, the more beautiful the maid, the higher the status of the family.

Wives soon came to realise that the beautiful servants were causing too many problems for comfort. The beautiful maids with their swinging waists and provocative curves made their husbands restless. Susceptible husbands suffered from romantic jitters and could not sit still.

The men just could not help admiring the darling maids. Some just couldn’t keep their eyes off them and swallowed saliva in yearning.

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In probably four out of five cases, husbands could not resist the devil’s temptation. It all happened when the wives travelled to a funeral or a crusade.

The longer the crusade, the better. 

Unwilling maids were influenced with money, threat of dismissal or “common raps” and they condescended to allow their masters taste the forbidden fruit. 

Some maids, in the process, overthrew their madams and announced their take-over in dawn broadcasts.

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Appetite

Wives have become wiser in recent years and now recruit maids they think their husbands wouldn’t have appetite for. But in some cases, they have misfired. When a husband is a typical he-goat and looks like one, he goes after everything that wears a skirt. The shape and beauty do not really matter so long as a skirt is involved.

In any case, a beautiful maid is more likely to cause a domestic upheaval than a plain one, and wives note that point accordingly.

I think with the Children’s Bill, wives can rejoice. They can employ maids below 16 years (the age of consent) so that it would be illegal for their husbands to go sniffing after them. But with the Children’s Bill, there are too many problems inherent.

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Today, some girls aged 14 look 17 because of their precocious development as a result of good nutrition or as a product of their peculiar physiological and anatomical make-up. And believe me, some of these young girls inflate their ages deliberately to make themselves marketable in today’s world of sugar daddies and love in exchange for money.

To worsen the problem, some parents do not know the ages of their kids. They just bring forth the laughingly naughty kids and keep no records. “I gave birth to Kwadwo 18 days after the fifth earth tremor hit Sikaman,” a confused father would say.

So Kwadwo or Abena or anybody for that matter can just look into the mirror, study her (or his) face carefully and decide that she must be 16, also because her buttocks resemble that of a 16 year old girl next block.

The law says that girls aged 16 can be courted and taken to bed so long as they consent to it. On the other hand, they cannot get married at 16. So, the law allows a young teenager to have sex and get pregnant at 16 but prevents her from getting married at that age. adzeei!

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The law further embarrassed itself by saying that a girl of 16 can marry, after all, so long, as parents of both parties lend their consent to it. So what exactly is this law saying?

That although you are not supposed to get married in effect, parents can influence their 16 year olds to marry even when they are not physically deem it fit?  In effect, parents can influence their 16 and emotionally matured for it?

The law must be definitive. If it allows teenagers get pregnant at 16, then the marriage age to have sex should be at 16, meaning that they can legitimately automatically be 16 because ideally, it is only married people who are supposed to get pregnant and bring forth babies.

So if the marriageable age is legally 18, then the age of consent must be 18. Short and simple!! The present law implies that a girl who gets pregnant at 16 has to wait for two years to get married (if her parents do not sanction it). So by 18, the child is two years old with no legitimate father, and the father might have married an older girl and gone off.

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Teenage prostitutes

Now, let’s forget about marriageable girls and concentrate on young teenagers who are getting addicted to alcohol. The beer bars allow in girls as young as 14 to sit down and drink anything from raw akpeteshie to large-sized Guinness, otherwise known as “odeeku.”

A girl of 16 can swallow four bottles of Guinness after laying foundation with three tots of gin. And she walks straight and steady. They are the sort of girls who are now fully enshrined in the trade of prostitution. 

And you know what? The old prostitutes are not happy with their intrusion. The young teenagers have all the equipment to attract higher bids – “bobby stands”, flexible waist, curves, beauty, style and hip. 

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So they are taking the bread out of the mouths of the old gang. And the oldies are now using macho to get the youngsters off. In fact, they are beating them and organising men to rape them.

To counteract this, the young girls are heading for mallams to get protection. The battle is joined. Sikaman Palava is investigating.

This article was first published on Saturday August 8, 1998

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Understanding women’s emotionsProofreadUnderstanding women’s emotionsProofread

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The emotional lives of women are deep and complex. They are shaped by biology, the brain, and how women interact with the world around them. While everyone feels emotions, science shows unique patterns in how women process and express them.

1. How the brain and body work

​Emotions are not just feelings in the mind. They are physical processes controlled by the brain and body:

Connected brain halves: Studies show that women often have strong connections between the left and right sides of the brain. This helps women link logic with intuition and feelings very quickly.

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Strong memories: The brain’s emotional centre helps women remember emotional events with vivid detail. This builds strong gut feelings and helps women learn from past experiences.

Hormone changes: Hormones like estrogen and progesterone change throughout the month. Estrogen can boost good moods and energy, while progesterone can cause calmness or quiet reflection. These shifts are natural physical responses.

2. Empathy and connection

​Women often show high levels of empathy and social skill:

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Mirror neurons: People have brain cells called mirror neurons that let us feel what others feel. Research suggests these networks help women deeply sense and understand the emotions of people around them.

​The “Tend-and-Befriend” Response: When stressed, men often react with fight or flight. Women often use a “tend-and-befriend” response. Driven by bonding hormones, women are wired to care for others and seek support from friends and community during hard times.

3. Society and expectations

​Society also shapes how women express their feelings:

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Different rules: Girls are often taught to be nurturing and expressive. However, society sometimes judges women harshly if they show anger or act too assertive at work. This forces women to balance their true feelings with outside expectations.

Emotional labor: Women often carry the weight of keeping families and workplaces happy. While this builds strong bonds, it can also lead to tiredness if they do not take time for themselves.

4. Resilience and Intuition

​These biological and social factors give women great emotional strength:

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The Power of Sharing: Many women are good at processing sadness, joy, and love by talking with others. This helps them heal and grow.

Listening to intuition: “Woman’s intuition” is real. It is not magic; it is the brain quickly putting together past experiences, physical clues, and deep observations into a clear gut feeling.

Conclusion

​Women’s emotions are a powerful and sophisticated system. They are driven by brain science, body chemistry, and deep empathy. Understanding these systems helps us see the vital role women play in building strong relationships and communities.

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By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson

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Confronting newborn abandonment in Ghana: When a cry for help is heard in a dustbin – Part 2

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An abandoned baby

The root causes: It is never just one reason

My years of counselling at CPAC show me abandonment is rarely an act of malice. It is the tragic endpoint of seven overwhelming distresses:

1. Severe maternal mental illness —The hidden emergency

a) Clinical Postpartum Depression (PPD): This is far beyond “baby blues.” It is a severe mood disorder that can appear weeks to months after birth. Due to a massive drop in hormones, extreme sleep deprivation, and emotional exhaustion, the mother feels deep sadness, worthlessness, and complete emotional numbness towards her baby. Picture: A new mother sits by her bed all day, staring blankly. Her baby cries for hours, but she cannot lift her hands to carry the baby. She whispers, “This baby would be better off without me.” She does not hate the baby; she feels she has completely failed as a mother.

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b) Peripartum Psychosis (Postpartum Psychosis): This is a psychiatric emergency. Rare but extremely dangerous, appearing suddenly within the first 2-3 weeks after delivery. The mother completely loses touch with reality. She hears commanding voices telling her to abandon the baby, or believes the baby is possessed by an evil spirit or is a “spirit child” who will bring a curse. Picture: A mother genuinely believes she heard a voice saying, “Leave this child at the crossroads at midnight or your family will die.” She abandons the baby not out of hatred, but because her broken mind believes she is obeying a higher spiritual order to save her family.

c) Pre-existing untreated Schizophrenia: This is a chronic, severe mental disorder that existed before the pregnancy. The stress of pregnancy and labour shatters her fragile coping. She suffers from paranoid delusions — believing people want to poison her and the baby — flat affect (zero facial expression), and grossly disorganised thinking, making it impossible to plan how to feed or clean a baby. Picture: A young woman whose family called her illness “spiritual attack” instead of taking her for medication wanders away after delivery, completely forgetting she even gave birth, leaving the infant behind.

2. Extreme socio-economic deprivation: For many girls in some parts of Ghana such as Kasoa, Madina, or Bekwai, poverty is not a statistic; it is a daily panic. No money for antenatal care, no money for hospital delivery, no money for baby diapers or formula. When a mother cannot feed herself, the thought of feeding another mouth feels impossible. Some mothers say, “I left her where someone richer would find her, because I could not watch her starve to death in my hands.” It is a distorted act of survival.

3. Intense societal stigma and shame: In Ghana, pregnancy outside marriage, teenage pregnancy, or pregnancy from rape can bring extreme family rejection. The girl is called “spoilt,” beaten, banned from church, or sacked from school. The fear of bringing shame to the family name is heavier than the fear of police. So she hides the pregnancy for 9 months, delivers alone, and abandons in secret to protect her family’s “honour.”

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4. Paternal abandonment — The Man Who Ran Away: Behind almost every abandoned baby is a man who vanished. He says, “It is not mine,” or “Abort it,” and switches off his phone. The mother is left utterly isolated — no emotional, financial, or social support. She is criminalised alone, but the abandonment started with him. Psychological research shows paternal denial is one of the strongest predictors of maternal panic and newborn abandonment. 

5. Substance abuse disorders: Alcohol, tramadol, and other drug addiction impair the brain’s executive functioning — the ability to plan, judge consequences, and process emotions. A mother struggling with addiction may give birth in a highly intoxicated or withdrawal state, unable to comprehend the needs of the newborn, leading to neglect and eventual abandonment.

6. The spirit child cultural phenomenon and superstition: In some remote pockets of Northern Ghana and even in few parts of Central and Ashanti regions, public health research shows babies born with congenital deformities, severe disabilities, or whose mothers die in childbirth are branded as “spirit children” or cursed. In extreme instances, families, under cultural pressure, mandate that such babies be exposed or abandoned at shrines or bushes. This is not mental illness, but a harmful cultural belief system that still kills.

The invisible wounds

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On the baby: Risk of death from hypothermia, sepsis, and infection. Survivors suffer Anaclitic Depression and Failure to Thrive due to lack of touch. As adults, they battle Reactive Attachment Disorder, chronic mistrust, and identity crisis — “Why did my mother leave me in a dustbin?”

On the mother: Lifelong hidden grief, intense guilt, chronic PTSD, depression, and elevated suicide risk. A prison cell does not heal this.

On the nation: Overburdened orphanages like Osu Children’s Home, draining health budgets, and overworked Social Welfare officers.

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