Obaa Yaa
My mother and sister do not like my sweetheart
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We were mates and good friends in the university and continued to maintain this cordial relationship till date.
Having expressed mutual love and care for each other in all aspects of our lives, we have decided to seal our love in marriage.
Thank God l had procured a good job, one of the preconditions for a successful marriage, and we have disclosed our marriage plans to our parents and all those who matter.
Unfortunately, l have lost my father, but my mother and my sister have opposed my decision to marry the lady of my heart.
They have not disclosed to me the reason for their disagreement, but l strongly believe it could be due to a long-standing misunderstanding on tribal lines.
l have gone a step further to convince my mother to develop a positive mind about people from this particular tribe, but my efforts had not yielding results.
l believe the situation would have been different if my father were alive.
What step should l take to make them agree?
Frank, Accra.
Dear Frank,
The misunderstanding surrounding your marriage is not an isolated case because it had bedeviled many marriages and would continue to persist.
The advantage you have in this case is the fact that your mother and sister have not identified any shortcoming on the part of your fiancée , which would have automatically rendered her unsuitable for marriage.
You must intensify your efforts in trying to convince your mother in particular not to depend on long-standing tribal problems to derail your plans in marriage. l think if your mother is convinced, your sister will also change her mind.
Additionally, you can seek the assistance of your uncles to intervene and talk with your mother if things are still getting out of hand.
Such entrenched positions on tribal lines are fast giving way to modern way of thinking.
l wish you well.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 20 and she is 19. We have been lovers for the past four months and have promised to get married to each other.
We love each other badly that one cannot leave the other for long. Our relatives know about our affair except her grandmother who will be in the country soon.
My problem is that, I doubt if the grandmother will be excited about this relationship. Her grandmother is very strict and I doubt if this relationship can be successful.
Her grandmother has been like a mother and everything to her, so her final decision may count.
We have promised each other to stay holy and clean.
Lartey,
Sunyani
Dear Lartey,
I don’t think your fears are justified if the girl’s parent do not object to your relationship with her.
What makes you think her grandmother will oppose the relationship if her parents endorse it?
Be positive about the relationship. There is no cause for alarm.
I am very happy you guys are staying holy and clean until marriage.
Both of you are student and need to be careful about any decision you take.
I believe you should try as much as possible to support each other and stay away from any negative act.
I have a girlfriend who is ‘allergic’ to me and ‘allergic’ to men in general.
Because of this, I barely touch her. I do not sit too close to her. I do not even hold her hands for long.
We have tried before. Even recently, we tried again. At first, things looked normal.
Then suddenly she lifted her hands and started scratching her back aggressively. We stopped immediately. Moments later, she ran to the bathroom and started vomiting.
She spent almost four hours there, weak, nauseous, and drained.
Watching someone you love suffer while you cannot do anything about it is painful. Is it a curse or an allergy?
Hello Christian,
What you’re describing sounds frightening and emotionally exhausting for both of you. But it is important not to jump to the idea of a curse.
Severe reactions after touch, closeness, stress, or intimacy can sometimes be linked to medical conditions, allergies, anxiety responses, trauma, or psychosomatic reactions.
The safest and most loving step is encouraging her to see qualified doctors, especially an allergist and mental health professional, so the cause can be properly understood.
Your patience already shows deep care. Do not blame yourself or search for supernatural explanations first.
Focus on support, medical guidance, emotional safety, and honest communication while protecting both her health and your relationship.
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