Obaa Yaa
My mother and sister do not like my sweetheart
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We were mates and good friends in the university and continued to maintain this cordial relationship till date.
Having expressed mutual love and care for each other in all aspects of our lives, we have decided to seal our love in marriage.
Thank God l had procured a good job, one of the preconditions for a successful marriage, and we have disclosed our marriage plans to our parents and all those who matter.
Unfortunately, l have lost my father, but my mother and my sister have opposed my decision to marry the lady of my heart.
They have not disclosed to me the reason for their disagreement, but l strongly believe it could be due to a long-standing misunderstanding on tribal lines.
l have gone a step further to convince my mother to develop a positive mind about people from this particular tribe, but my efforts had not yielding results.
l believe the situation would have been different if my father were alive.
What step should l take to make them agree?
Frank, Accra.
Dear Frank,
The misunderstanding surrounding your marriage is not an isolated case because it had bedeviled many marriages and would continue to persist.
The advantage you have in this case is the fact that your mother and sister have not identified any shortcoming on the part of your fiancée , which would have automatically rendered her unsuitable for marriage.
You must intensify your efforts in trying to convince your mother in particular not to depend on long-standing tribal problems to derail your plans in marriage. l think if your mother is convinced, your sister will also change her mind.
Additionally, you can seek the assistance of your uncles to intervene and talk with your mother if things are still getting out of hand.
Such entrenched positions on tribal lines are fast giving way to modern way of thinking.
l wish you well.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your highly esteemed paper and I would like to know whether some amount of money is paid to those who write short stories for publication on the children’s page of your Weekly Spectator.
I wrote a short story which was published last month, and my friends who saw it told me that a token will be paid to anyone whose story is published.
A.J., Kwabenya.
Dear A.J.,
We don’t pay for short stories published on our children’s page. That opportunity is to encourage school children to develop the habit of writing. We believe that by publishing their short stories, they’ll be encouraged to write more.
The paper is open to everyone who wants to share ideas or write about a concern.
