Obaa Yaa
Many divorces frighten me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Reading about weddings which took place in the country, and ended up in divorces, send shivers down my spine.
It beats my imagination why two people who had pledged their love for each other in holy matrimony and in the presence of the church, will after a few months or years forget about the vows they took and seek divorce.
Such shocking incidents do not make one desire to marry in the first place. To some of us, marriage looks like an albatross on one’s neck and becomes difficult to remove.
A divorce case which occurred recently was one which involved a relative of mine. l am referring to a couple whose marriage was acclaimed one of the best in my community in recent times.
The couple had given better meaning to marriage and some people looked up to them as role models in the community. Therefore, their failure to sustain the marriage had sent bad signals to some of us who are contemplating marriage.
Ever since l heard about this incident, l have lost interest in marriage and would like to close the chapter on this aspect of my life.
Have l taken the right decision about marriage?
Sylvia, Tema.
Dear Sylvia,
It is always good to make enquiries and this offers you the opportunity to fully comprehend details of things.
Your observation could not be right because you can only infer after empirical evidence had been adduced to establish your assertion. You cannot take a few cases to conclude that majority of the weddings in your area have ended on the rocks, for which reason you should take a stance.
Secondly, one cannot conjecture what might have caused these divorces to take place.
We are created by God differently, and with unique gifts, and talents which were dispensed by the Giver of all good gifts.
In each of the cases, you would be surprised to discover different reasons which had caused these divorces to take place. So you have to reconsider your decision since two different marriages are not the same.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
