Obaa Yaa

Painful separation

Published

4 years ago

September 17, 2022

Dear ObaaYaa,

I met this beautiful lady at a party which was organised by a relative of mine and we fell in love.

We got well with each other and our love developed. All this while, she enquired from me if I was married or had a child and told her that her concerns were correct.

She became happy as a result of my assurance and vowed that she would not allow any lady to snatch me from her. My lady promised to give me the happiness I needed and would work hard to give me every support in our marriage.

Since we were always together in the full glare of others, people got to know of our intention to marry.

A friend who knows me has advised that i should not be in haste to marry her but be careful and study her character because she is quarrelsome and could pose problems for me when i marry her.

Though i have considered this man intruding into my love affairs, i have reluctantly decided to listen to his advice.

So I apologised to my lady that my office could not raise the funds i requested for to help me organise the wedding hence the need to postpone it until my finances had improved to which she did not complain.

Staying together for two months has brought a lot of dust from under the carpet and you will not believe that the problems are enormous. Sometimes, i want to leave the house in order to avoid quarrels and maintain my peace.

Having known the sort of person she is, it was painful for me to leave her though the love is still there.

Do you consider my decision as good?

Frank, Accra.

Dear Frank,

You must consider yourself very fortunate to get someone to advice you otherwise you would have been shocked with her true character after marriage. You must count yourself very lucky because others could not get people to advise them on the right decision to take.

Having described how lovely, resourceful and hardworking she is, it must be painful to separate on this note.

Though painful, your decision to separate is good because you will have your peace of mind.

Obaa Yaa

I don’t want to lose my girlfriend

Published

5 days ago

May 30, 2026

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.

However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.

Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.

According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.

Thomas, Wa.

Dear Thomas,

First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.

If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.

Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.

At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.

A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.

If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.

I wish you all the best.

Obaa Yaa

My Dad won’t attend my wedding

Published

2 weeks ago

May 23, 2026

WeeklySpectator

My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.

Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.

I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?

Kwesi,

Suhum

Dear Kwesi,

Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.

You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.

If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.

Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.

Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.