Obaa Yaa
Can lost wedding ring spark problem in marriage?
Dear ObaaYaa,
A close friend recently lost her wedding ring on a journey and some of us initially did not accord the problem the importance it deserved. However, having considered the tears which dripped from her eyes and the perspiration that had engulfed her made me feel sad about the incident.
This incident set me thinking about what might have caused her to perspire profusely when she discovered that her ring had gotten missing.
Though the bus in which we were travelling had covered some kilometres from where she suspected the wedding ring fell, she insisted to alight and our driver obliged to wait for her.
Thank God she found the ring at the place she suspected it might have fallen and the spontaneous joy that filled us on receipt of the news was quite refreshing.
Can the loss of this ring spark a problem at home since it was a mere accident?
Emelia, Accra.
Dear Emelia,
This column would like to commend you for sharing in the grief of your friend. Every human or married person in the right sense must be worried for the loss of a wedding ring.
Though the incident looks like an ordinary misfortune, it has different connotations which could be interpreted differently.
Additionally, the shedding of copious tears by this woman was to tell the world the sort of husband she had and the reaction which awaited her at home.
On the contrary, a discerning husband who is not jealous and understands issues will consider the problem a misfortune and would not hesitate to sympathise with the wife and quickly arrange to buy a new ring for her but the same cannot be said of other men.
Others will infer that the woman could possibly remove the ring to enable her to have an illicit affair and this will spark a serious quarrel which could lead to divorce.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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