Obaa Yaa
Should l consider this man or quit the relationship
Dear ObaaYaa,
My first relationship fell on rocks when l discovered after three years to my surprise that my boyfriend was married with two children and the lady was staying with his parents in the village while he came to Accra in search of greener pastures.
Though l was surprised to hear the news, the surprise look in his face which left him speechless for some minutes was enough for me to believe that the information l received could not be the figment of imagination of someone trying to be mischievous.
Initially, my boyfriend attempted to whisper some words but quickly realised that he had hit the rocks as the words could not flow and there was nothing he could do under the circumstance to redeem his already damaged image.
By intuition he rose from his seat which was opposite mine, went on his knees to plead forgiveness. I did not allow him to waste his precious energy as l assisted him back on his feet and attempted leading him to his seat but he could not move an inch.
I demanded that our meeting that evening should end for us to continue the conversation the following day, God willing. But l could not sleep throughout the night because of the hurt in my heart and in the morning it was not better either.
Linda, Accra.
Dear Linda,
You ought to thank God for what has happened and the fact that you have discovered this embarrassing news early before you could commit yourself further in this relationship.
So long as this lady and her children are staying with the in-laws means she is still married to the husband.
How would you feel imagine you were married to this man before this secret was revealed to you? Your man has erred for not letting out the parcel in his baggage and going forward to propose to you. He should have known that a secret of this nature will definitely come to light.
Having known the facts, there is no need to waste a second of your precious time in this relationship. Despite the fact that this man has shown some remorse you need not sympathise with him. Work hard at getting yours to avoid unnecessary marital problems.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
