Obaa Yaa
Will you accept 26 years difference for couple?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
When l first heard that an elderly man was dating my best friend, l did not believe it, considering the sort of person she is and the ideals she stands for in life.
However, l was faced with realities when l met the two of them in town, apparently they came to purchase a few items. I took the opportunity and pressed to hear from the horse’s own mouth and she did not feel shy to confirm it.
The age difference of the two of them is about 26 years and she did not find anything wrong with that. In my conversation with her, she told me that though the age difference was that much, she loved her husband despite the fact that he had four grown-up children, she was prepared to face the daunting challenge and manage them no matter the problems they posed.
She said the husband was very sick when she met him but through her tender care, she was able to help him to recover within a short time for which the man remains grateful.
Will this relationship last considering the age difference?
Beatrice
Dear Beatrice,
Each person has a unique character and if well projected and utilised will enable that individual to attain great heights in society. This unique character is being displayed to perfection by your friend.
Your friend might have developed some special love and care for the husband, and being a fountain of love for the husband, this might have resuscitated him.
Care for the elderly is one of the greatest ‘medicines’ the healthy and energetic relatives ought to give them.
Many people who had no specific care and for that matter were left unaided died as a result. Their lives could have been prolonged if they had people around them to provide for their basic needs.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
