Obaa Yaa
He brings girls into our bedroom
Dear ObaaYaa,
Though our marriage five years ago was not without problems, we moved on and were blessed with a child who has brought joy to the family.
We managed to pass through unpleasant situations and now that our economic conditions are changing for the better, my husband has been bringing girls home to sleep with and the problem is getting out of control and disturbing me. I did not hesitate to ask him the first time l had wind that he was involved in an extramarital affair but he denied it.
I was worried because when he had no job, l used the little capital l had to support the family to stand on its feet. I took responsibility of the rent, the schooling of our child and other needs that one can imagine.
Though l tried to overlook this problem, it is making me worried, a situation which could result in health problems for me. I have reported the matter to the parents but he has not changed.
Should l call for a divorce or employ another method to deal with the problem?
Maame Esi, Takoradi.
Dear Maame Esi,
I can imagine the pain in your heart because you had spent your resources to improve the lot of your family in order to enjoy a better life together.
It is quite surprising the arrogance with which your husband is conducting himself even to the extent of disrespecting the advice of his parents.
Calling for divorce now will not solve the problem since you have a child for him. If you divorce him the possibility of your husband shirking his responsibilities to your child is great since he could say that any money given out for the upkeep of the child could be used to cater for another man.
Stay in the marriage and work out things to change because if you leave your child with him, the possibility of the child suffering hatred, molestation and deprivation is great. I will advise you to report him to your pastor and out of shame he will shun this character.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
