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Obaa Yaa

He is now eager to claim my child

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Dear ObaaYaa,

It all started when we were in SHS and academic work had relaxed a little during sports week. We bumped into each other and coincidentally lit the fire of love.

Since then we went through thick and thin with series of difficulties, petty quarrels but in the midst of these l got pregnant to my surprise.

Having examined my condition for a week, I informed my boyfriend that l was pregnant but he flared up and rained insults on me.  He concluded that he was not responsible for the pregnancy so l should look for the person who had made me pregnant.

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He further said he suspected l was having an affair with another man and thanked God that his suspicion had come through. He suggested that l should abort the pregnancy or look for the one who had made me pregnant.

Gripped with fear, l approached one of his close friends to inform him about what had happened and the unfriendly comments his friend had made.

Since his friend’s intervention could not help matters, l sensed that l was left to face the world alone in humiliation.

I foresaw that l would face serious embarrassment if l kept mute over the issue, so l informed my mother about it.

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Though my father’s anger is difficult to control, my mother informed him about the shame l had brought to the family and the embarrassment l had caused myself.

Now that my child has reached a tertiary level, he is trying to claim the child but l still feel the pains and l am not prepared to give in. Would l be wrong if l maintain my decision not to allow him to own the child? 

Akos, Nsawam.

Dear Akos,

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This gentleman had earlier shot himself in the foot when he said he was not responsible for your pregnancy, and added that you should look for the person who had made you pregnant. Therefore, on what basis is he coming to make claims to the child?

Having issued threats ever since, he had not made any attempts to support you in taking care of the child until now, for that matter he has no claims to the child.

I am pretty sure your parents will not take kindly to this request so keep your calm and ignore his threats.

If he is determined to claim the child then he should go to court and be prepared for a DNA test and any cost that would be imposed on him for shirking his responsibilities until now.

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Obaa Yaa

My Stepfather at ‘war’ with me over my late mother’s house

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 39-year-old woman and the eldest of four children. My mother died five years ago. Before her death, she owned a house where she lived with my stepfather and my younger siblings. My stepfather had been married to my mother for more than 20 years.

After the death of mother. My stepfather has gone to court, claiming that the house belongs to him. He says he contributed money towards the construction and maintenance of the property and that my mother’s children have no right to interfere with it.

He has even accused me and my siblings of trying to take the house from him.

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I am shocked because my mother was the person who acquired the land and started the building. She also told us several times that the house was meant to remain in the family.

There is no written agreement between my mother and my stepfather about who owns what, and I am worried that this case could divide the family permanently.

My younger siblings are also angry with me because they believe I should fight my stepfather until the house is given to us.

Obaa Yaa, should I fight him in court or try to settle the matter outside court?

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From Frimpongmaa,

Assin Praso.

Dear Frimpongmaa, 

I am sorry you are going through this. A dispute over your late mother’s home can be very painful, especially when it involves your stepfather. Do not give up on the house or sign any document simply because he has sued you. Being sued does not mean that he automatically owns the property.

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Find out exactly what your stepfather is claiming, for example, whether he says the house belongs to him, that he is the beneficiary, or that you have no right to the property.

The court will determine who legally owns the property based on the applicable succession law and the evidence.

The exact answer can change considerably depending on where the house is located, whether your mother left a Will, how she acquired the house, what type of marriage she had with your stepfather, whether there are other children, and the applicable customary/statutory law.

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Obaa Yaa

I can’t meet demands from my husband’s family

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a woman married for over 17 years and blessed with three children.

My father passed away two years ago and left some property to me and my two siblings.

Among the things I inherited was a piece of land and a house which I intend to keep for my children’s future.

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My husband’s family are putting pressure on me to give up the property and allow my husband to take control of it. They are saying that because I am married, anything I inherit should benefit my husband and his family as well.

I have tried to explain that my father deliberately left the property to me, but they accuse me of being selfish and disrespectful to my husband’s family.

I am now confused. I love my husband, but I don’t want to lose what my father worked hard to leave behind.

What should I do?

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Adzo, Ho

Dear Adzo

If the inheritance legally belongs to you, you should not feel pressured to surrender it simply to be at peace with your husband’s family.

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 At the same time, avoid making a rush decision based on anger or fear.

I don’t see the reason why your husband’s family wants to take control of the land.

Keep copies of relevant documents and, if necessary, seek legal advice.

Do not sign any document transferring, renouncing your interest until you fully understand its consequences.

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You should also have a good conversation with your husband. Ask him why his family wants you to hand over your inheritance to them and whether he supports their position.

Remember that family pressure is not the same as a legal obligation. You can respect your husband’s relatives without surrendering something that is rightfully yours.

If you eventually decide to share part of the inheritance, let it be because you genuinely wanted to, not because you were intimidated or emotionally overstretched.

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