Obaa Yaa
Demand for sex is pushing us apart
Dear ObaaYaa,
We have been in a stable relationship for a couple of years now and have planned to be together when we are done with our studies and have secured jobs.
Being youth leaders at church and very influential persons, we have decided to abstain from sex as our faith demands and not to live an immoral lifestyle.
We have held unto this agreement for the past years until recently when my friend completed his national service and started living a different lifestyle which is a clear departure from the old.
He is always demanding for sex and threatening to cause separation should l refuse to give in to his sexual demands.
I am surprised about his sudden changed lifestyle and the pressure he is mounting on me. Should l give in to demonstrate my love for him?
Cynthia, Koforidua,
Dear Cynthia,
This column commends the two of you for the wise and bold decision you took when you commenced your relationship. It is rather unfortunate that the ideals you stood for are beginning to fizzle out with time.
Many factors could be working on your friend’s mind and forcing a change in his behaviour. He could have been exposed to some new friends whose ideals might have influenced his lifestyle, so the incessant demands he is making on you.
It is advisable to hold onto your faith and remember the Bible verse which says that your body is the temple of God, therefore, you should preserve it for that purpose.
There is no guarantee that he genuinely loves you and would marry you in future. There is no hurry in life for that matter you must be patient until the appropriate time comes.
You should not be intimidated by his threats to cause separation in your relationship. Life has in store better days with good prospects, provided you are prepared to obey and wait on the lord.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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