Conflict at work is more common than you might think. According to 2022 research by The Myers-Briggs Company, more than a third of the workforce reports dealing with conflict often, very often, or all the time in the workplace. The same report found that managers spend an average of four hours per week dealing with conflict, and nearly 25 per cent of people think their managers handle conflict poorly or very poorly.

Addressing a dispute might feel tense or awkward, but resolving the conflict is typically well worth it in the long run. Whether you’re trying to mediate conflict between colleagues or are directly involved, here are seven steps you can take to manage workplace conflict.

1. Don’t put it off

Facing conflict head-on is hard. However, waiting too long to address it can negatively impact your emotional well-being, focus, and the entire office environment. If you’re feeling angry, letting that emotion fester can also escalate it over time. This can make you less responsive to other points of view and make it harder to resolve the issue.

The sooner you can address the conflict, the better it will be for you, the person you disagree with, and your entire team.

2. Learn all you can about the problem

It’s important to determine the type of conflict you’re dealing with. Begin by considering the cause of the conflict. For example, ask yourself whether someone said something that upset you or if you have emotions of anger and resentment that stemmed from something that happened.

Then try to identify if it’s a task, relationship, value, or team conflict. Once you know what type of conflict it is, you can work to resolve it with specific tactics for that situation.

If you skip this step, you may waste time or escalate the situation further by trying to address issues irrelevant to the real conflict.

3. Actively listen

Listen attentively when people share their side of the story. Active listening is one of the most valuable professional skills you can possess. This type of listening involves not only hearing what the other person is saying but also listening to understand their point of view.

No matter your role in conflict, it’s easy to begin sharing your opinion with little regard for the other people involved. However, it’s important to learn about all sides of a disagreement to make well-informed decisions before drawing conclusions.

To reach a resolution, you must step back and prioritize listening over talking. Ultimately, that will encourage the other person to do the same when it’s your turn to speak. –source: betterup.com

After a busy morning at the office, I met the boys at Adehye, our usual lunch spot. We started catching up on the latest gossip, but the hottest issue was Abena and I.

The guys were surprised that Abena showed completely indifference when she saw them whilst in the company of another guy. Ebo’s fiancé solved the riddle for us.                                                                                                                                                          ‘Guys, let me tell you what’s happening. Jennifer is what I would call a fixer.

She fixes guys with girls. Every now and then guys with money in their pockets would ask her to get them ladies, and she would make friends with the girls and get the job done.

 And David, you know your girl Abena has all the features that men like. Big size, ample bosom and booty and thighs topped up with good looks.                                                                                                                                

‘And Jennifer does this for the fun of it?’ Papa Awotwe asked. ‘She just fixes guys with girls just for fun?’                                                                                                                                                      

‘Certainly not. She takes a fee, depending usually on the means of the customer. Some wealthy guys pay well, others struggle’.                                                                

‘So does she share this money with the girls? Surely, any girl agreeing to be traded will take some inducements?’                                                                             

‘Jennifer does not share her fees with them. Awotwe, most of the girls who would allow themselves to be traded think they need money, or its simple greed. They want money to buy dresses and shoes and other fine things, and to be taken to nice restaurants, by people with flashy cars.

And David, let me tell you this. My sister Baaba knows Jennifer quite well, and she tells me that she met her with your Abena at a dress designer’s place, and they were really running you down.

Basically, they were saying that you are a civil servant working at the Ministry of Agriculture, and your job regularly takes you to the north.

You are just a struggling young man, they say, and Abena was much better off with this guy called Ampadu, whose family is quite wealthy. According to them, your car is quite ordinary compared to Ampadu’s BMW, and he takes her to places you just cannot afford’.                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

‘Amen’, Ebo said. ‘David, I think we have to celebrate the fact that you have found this out early in the day.

I’m so glad that you have also started hitting the right buttons in business. I know Abena will be in for a big surprise quite soon. This Ampadu guy and his two brothers are very loud.

They hold parties quite regularly, at which a lot of wines and good food are served. But if the supermarkets are their source of funds, then they have to be careful’.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

‘I’ve heard that their dad took a chieftaincy title a couple of years ago’ George said, ‘and he has acquired some lands which his kids are selling. I hope they are using part of those resources wisely’.                                                                                                                                                                                                 

  ‘How can you use resources wisely when you are organizing flashy parties?’ Ebo said. ‘Hey, let’s order our food’.

It was a Friday evening, so I got into some light evening wear and drove out to meet the boys, but I decided to stop by Abena’s place.

 Her mother and sister and another young lady were relaxing in the yard, together with her cousin, so I sat beside them and joined their chat.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

‘Abena is getting ready’, Mama said. ‘Are you guys going out’?                                                                                                                                                    

 ‘Actually, I haven’t made any such arrangements with her. I got back into town just this morning, so I just stopped by to greet you all and see how you are doing. And by the way, who is this gorgeous young lady?’                                                                                                                                                                              

 ‘Ah, David’, Esaaba said. ‘Kwakyewaa is our cousin. She’s a postgraduate student in France. She’s here for a holiday. Abena is dressing up, so I assumed she was going out with you’. Abena came out, looking nice.                                                                                                                                                                      

‘Good evening’, she asked. ‘You are back in town’. I nodded.                                                                                                                                                     

  ‘Abena, I thought you were going out with David’, Esaaba said.                                                                                                                                                           

 ‘No. I didn’t know he was in town. Jennifer and I are going out with some friends. They are picking me up anytime from now’.                                                 

‘Actually its quite fine’, I said. ‘I’m meeting my friends at the new seaside joint to catch up on what’s happening’.  Just then, the horn of a car sounded, and Abena walked majestically to the gate.                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

‘So David’ Esaaba said, ‘when will you fulfil your promise of taking me out? I haven’t enjoyed an evening out for some time’.                                                       

‘Actually, we can do that now. Kwakyewaa and Mom can join us. In fact, you will enjoy the view of the sea and the live band, and they serve some wicked food. So why don’t you go and get ready?’                                                                                                                                                                                                     

‘No way!’ the elderly lady said’. I will fall asleep in your car. Go with the girls. Next time give me enough notice’.                                                                       

‘What do you think, Kwakyewaa”?                                                                                                                                                                                                         ‘

Try stopping me! Let’s go and find something to wear’.

By Ekow de Heer