Features
The passport to hell
NATIVES of Sikaman are very religious people. Procure a Bible, hire an interpreter, get four benches, a chair, table and two candles and arrange them like you see in a church room. You have established a church and the natives will start coming to you for consultation. The ladies will come around mid-night if you ask them to.
Getting followers is normally not a problem but if you are finding it difficult, you only have to learn to be a good dancer so that your floor shows will be a side attraction.
Start a funky Christian hymn and dance in accompaniment. An old retired witch passing by is likely to join you. She wants last minute salvation. For sure, a civil servant wanting to fight VAT spiritually will also join the fold with his own brand of kpalogo. A church has indeed been born.
The demise or survival of such a mushroom church will, however, depend on the competence, cooperation or roguery of the interpreter. If for instance he is not properly fed before a church service, he can decide to give his own interpretations to reflect the extent of his stomach palaver. It is, in fact, a form of strike action Kumi Preko!
“You are standing on holy ground”, the pastor will say. “If you don’t receive your miracle and healing here, then Jesus is not alive. So long as Jesus is alive, no disease, no problem will come here and go back unsolved. Halleluyah!”
The hungry interpreter who wants to subvert the process of the new church will interpret thus “The pastor says this is a church for idiots and those who are idle and have nothing doing. It is also a church for those who want entertainment like you can get in the discos. Meanwhile he says the service is becoming boring so if you’re feeling sleepy you can go home and sleep”.
The pastor will immediately sense foul play and will call the interpreter aside to ask him whether he is normal.
Are you mental?” he’d ask.
“You gave me only one ball of kenkey so whatever you were saying didn’t enter into my ears”
“Did you use the kenkey to seal your damn ears?”
“No, I mean it was not sufficient for my stomach”.
“So if I give you three balls can you handle the job?”
“Yes, but if you make it four, I’ll not make any mistake again. But the fish must be double, or else I’ll develop kwashiorkor”.
With the increase in the ration of the almighty interpreter and a rise in his Sunday stipend, the church gains ground and before long, membership increases with beautiful women in the majority. They have got problems that can only be solved at the beach at midnight.
Yes, most women go to church for various reasons among which are learning to dance, seeking marriage, courting potential boyfriends, making business smooth and flowing and seeking healing for fibroids. Some women also go to avoid their sexy husbands who always desire to start climbing them as early as 7.30 p.m. By the time they return from the evening service such husbands are tired of waiting and resort to snoring.
Men also are not left out of the Christian show. They attend to pray so that God can reveal to them whether their wives are witches or not, because since marriage, they have not prospered. They’ve tried everything including lotto, but still … There must be setting behind!
Well, prosperity or not, Christian churches have been established all over the place. At Ashaiman alone, there are about 500 churches or Christian sects, some fellowshipping in converted kitchens and under trees. Many are breakaway factions but they all have the same objectives together with the orthodox churches that is SAVING SOULS. But are Ghanaian churches really saving souls?
Whether orthodox, spirito-charismatic charismato-magical, almost all churches in Sikaman have tragically deviated from the virtues of soul winning and now concentrate on financial matters.
Luckily, one man of God, Reverend J. K. Atto-Brown who obviously was becoming embarrassed by the unbridled and unwarranted ways of ministers of the word who concentrate more on money than saving souls, spoke his piece of mind.
“It is a well-known fact that a greater part of our worship time is often devoted to fund-raising activities, while very little attention and time is given to the spiritual message to feed the souls of members”, he said.
Reverend Atto-Brown also observed that the method used by churches to collect monies from their members clearly shows how Satan could easily adulterate spiritual worship with materialistic concerns.
Not long after he spoke his mind, another Reverend Minister, Francis Botchway, lambasted ministers of churches for using too many methods to collect monies from their members.
In fact, financial issues have gained priority in our churches to such extents that organizing offerings and collections have become major activities of the modern church. The sermon is hurriedly preached to give way to more serious matters – silver collection, etc.
Members are compelled to donate towards the building of a new church house that never gets built, a-new organ that never gets bought, pastor’s welfare, pastor’s transfer, harvests, funerals, tithing and sundry others.
Contributing to some of these things isn’t a bad idea but anything which becomes compelling, straining and excessive to the point that members are distressed and feel exploited is not good for the church.
Moreover, a large percentage of these monies are not properly accounted for and pastors often quarrel with their church elders over embezzlements of church funds and the like.
The whole palaver has become one suggesting that you have to pay money to get salvation and a visa to heaven, which must not be the case. Salvation is free. It also suggests that if you are poor then you better stay at home and go to hell. Poverty, therefore, becomes a passport to hell.
Anyway, the self-appointed Reverend Kofi Kokotako recently told me that there is no place for the poor man in heaven because heaven is a luxurious joint. The guy is not serious.
Anyhow, our Christian churches need to be reformed. The exploitation must stop so that even the poor can have the chance of getting salvation. Worshipping God must not be another luxury. Must It?
This article was first published on Saturday May 27, 1995
Today, I focus on the Global Methodist Church in Finland, as I continue with my description of institutions and personalities and their accomplishments as members of the Ghanaian Diaspora in Finland. I give special attention to the Ghanaian Methodist Fellowship, which is under the Global Methodist Church in Finland.
The Global Methodist Church in Finland is quite new, having split from the United Methodist Church Finland.
The Church in Finland has seen significant strides and accomplishments within the short time that it has been established in Finland, which must be highlighted.
Some history
The Methodist Church in Finland has existed for over 100 years since 1800s. It was conducted mainly in the Finnish language, according to Pastor Freeman Awuah. In 2012, a Finnish member of the Helsinki church and the then Mr Freeman Awuah, a Ghanaian immigrant who had joined the church, started bible studies which was turned into the English version of the church.
Many Ghanaians joined and they formed the Ghana Fellowship church within the Finnish Methodist church with services conducted in Twi.
In 2025, the Ghana Methodist Fellowship joined the Global Methodist Church and became quite well grounded. The Methodist Church generally does not have much influence in Finland as compared to the Lutheran and Orthodox churches. Even so, the Global Methodist Church currently has two branches, in Espoo and Lahti.
The Church has three ordained pastors, with the Finnish pastor as the leader of the church, assisted by Pastor Freeman Awuah (who was ordained a pastor a few years ago) and another Ghanaian pastor (Pastor Paul Brewu, who was recently ordained).
Activities and achievements of the Church
The Global Methodist Church in Finland conducts church service on Sundays. The service starts at 11 in the morning and closes by 1 p.m. When the service is done in Finnish there is English translation, and there is the service by the Ghana Methodist Fellowship, which meets once a month.
There are other meetings on other days when the church has what is termed Community Fellowship (Bible Studies) on Tuesdays in English, Thursdays in Finnish and Fridays in Twi at 6 pm.
The Global Methodist Church in Finland continues to shepherd people in their religious lives for God’s glory. The church opens its doors to people of every nationality, including Finns, other Europeans, and other African migrants, aside those of Ghanaian origins.
“We are a family church because we are a family to other migrants and we care for the needs of each other or others in all situations that we can be of help.
For example, in the women’s group, we have an organisation in Finland which works to fight against human trafficking. The women’s group has also adopted an orphanage in Ghana where we help the less privileged ones”, Pastor Awuah revealed.
But there are also challenges, according to Pastor Freeman, as with any new group or institution that faces initial obstacles. Also, the COVID-19 situation brought a huge challenge such as physical resources and logistics. The lockdowns resulted in church services not conducted regularly, and done online. People are still interested in online worships than physical meetings, he said, adding: “We are trusting God to help”.
Impact of the Ghanaian migrant community
The Global Methodist Church in Finland plays a prominent role as a religious group that serves Ghanaian migrants and others in the Finnish society.
The Ghanaian community has great impact since majority of the church membership are of Ghanaian origin (about 60 per cent). There are other nationalities and it is thus a very multicultural body.
Integration
By its activities, the Global Methodist Church is thus helping to ensure integration of its members well into the Finish society.
This is important since social interaction and citizens’ well-being are an important part of the integration process in Finland.
As I mentioned some time ago, the role of migrant associations and groups such as the Global Methodist Church acting as bridge-builders for the integration and inclusion of migrants through participation in the decision making process and by acting as a representative voice is highly appreciated in Finland. Thank you!
GHANA MATTERS column appears fortnightly. Written in simple, layman’s terms, it concentrates on matters about Ghana and beyond. It focuses on everyday life issues relating to the social, cultural, economic, religious, political, health, sports, youth, gender, etc. It strives to remind us all that Ghana comes first. The column also takes a candid look at the meanings and repercussions of our actions, especially those things we take for granted or even ignore. There are key Ghanaian values we should uphold rather than disregard with impunity. We should not overlook the obvious. We need to search for the hidden or deeply embedded values and try to project them.
With Dr Perpetual Crentsil
Email: perpetual.crentsil@yahoo.com
I picked Kwakyewa up, and we drove to the site on the Aburi road. We drove for some five minutes, and a security man opened the gate, and we entered the 40 acre plot secured with a fence wall.
‘Here we are. I have just started buying materials. I am planning on building one hundred apartments, and fifty top class houses’. ‘
David, are you telling me that this is all yours?’
‘Yes. All mine. I carefully engaged with the chief of the town, and his elders. I paid him all the arranged monies, in the presence of his people. And I have started work on a school building for the town, and I’m renovating his palace. When the block of houses is sold, I will invest the bulk of the funds here.
I will start with twenty houses, without taking any loan. When I sell them, then I will build many more’.
We went round the site, and spoke with the workers who were clearing the land. After an hour we went back in the car and drove off. ‘You are not saying anything, Kwakyewaa’. ‘
What can I say? It’s just incredible. I will stay for as long as you need me’.
Many thanks, Kwakyewaa.
I will count on your support. I will continue working with the EU for another couple of years, so I will be up north a lot of the time. So you will be in charge’. After spending another couple of hours at the city centre site, we decided on lunch’.
We got down at Sankofa, and I took her hand as we walked to take our seats. After taking a sip of my drink I looked across the big room and saw Abena staring at us, a look of utter shock on her face. She continued to stare as Kwakyewaa spoke about the changes she had to make due to her extended stay in Ghana. After a while I ignored her and focused on the discussion.
‘Now listen, Kwakyewaa, this is a most important part of what we have started to do, as a couple, and as business partners.
For starters, I would like you to prepare a budget of the expenses you need to make as a result of postponing your return and staying here for three months, and I will pay you the money.
In the coming days we will decide on how much money you need to be comfortable. Then, later on, we will take the bigger decisions resulting from continuing with the relationship.
Suddenly she got off from her seat, sat on my lap and hugged me, as the other guests watched in appreciation. Unfortunately I could not look in Abena’s direction.
We parted at the office at the close of day. Kwakyewa joined Eva and Robert for the drive home, as I drove home. Although I was playing my favourite jazz tunes, my head was spinning with thoughts of Kwakyewaa. Abena was beautiful, but Kwakyewaa was in a completely different league altogether.
And she combined queenly beauty with incredible sharpness of mind. She calculated business issues with ease, and she planned and recorded everything. And to top it all, it was obvious from the first day that she cared about me.
This time, business was going well, but the relationship side was also cool. This time, I could forget about Abena and her big ego and sharp tongue.
I sat to watch TV, but started feeling sleepy, so I rose to go and lie down when my phone rang. It was Kwakyewaa. ‘Bernard, Abena just came in. She’s furious. She’s throwing verbal bombs at Esaaba, saying things like “if you think you will insult me by fixing David Kwakyewaa, you are joking.
If I wanted Bernard I wouldn’t have thrown him out. David is junk. She can have him. I’ve gotten someone far better than him. You are all stupid”. ‘
And what did Esaaba say?’ asked.
‘We didn’t say anything. Which made her angrier, so she rained insults for quite some time, and went to her room’.
‘Nice one. It’s good you ignored her. Hey look! She has just sent me a message. Let me check and get back to you’.
I opened the message and read. ‘Bernard, so you are now Kwakyewaa’s boyfriend. Congrats. I thought you would spend sometime to improve yourself before trying to get a girlfriend, but obviously you think otherwise. Pray that she also doesn’t throw you out soon’. I sent her a reply.
‘Madam, I’m tired of your insults and lies. I will come and show this to Mom first thing tomorrow, and tell her about the things you have been saying about me. I may also do you a favour by telling her about a certain transaction by which Jennifer sold an arrogant girl for peanuts.
Goodnight’. She called me numerous times, but I did not pick her call. At six following morning, my doorbell rang, and I went to find Abena and Esaaba, and let them in. ‘David’, Esaaba said after I had offered them seats, I hear you have threatened to come and see Mom this morning to tell her about the message Abena sent to you. Well, we have come to apologize to you, not only for the message but also for anything she has said about you.
She says it will not happen again, so please forgive her, and cancel your plan of coming to see Mom’.
‘Yes, David’, Abena said. ‘I am very sorry. I promise it will never happen again’.
‘Okay. I accept your apology, even though the things you’ve been saying were not true, and they really hurt me, because I did not get the chance to defend myself to the people who heard it’.
‘And David’, Abena said, please do me a favour. ‘You said Jennifer sold me for peanuts. Is it true, or you were just rebutting what I said’.
‘Let’s do it this way’, I said. ‘Call Jennifer, and ask her if it is true that she was paid by your boyfriend for fixing you with him. I’ve heard he has not given her the full amount, so she has been calling him to demand the balance’. ‘I don’t believe it, but let me call her and see’.
She called Jennifer. After a few moments she started shedding tears. ‘Esaaba let’s go’, she said quietly. I walked them to the roadside and hired a taxi to take them home.
At the office a couple of hours later, Kwakyewaa came to sit by my desk and looked straight at my face.
‘So what happens now? Esaaba told me what transpired at your house. ‘What she does is none of my business. Maybe she will go and sort things out with her rich boyfriend’.
‘I was afraid she would decide to fight to have you back. I have been really worried’.
‘Are you joking? We have already agreed on what Esaaba calls a smooth transfer. We have a relationship, and I’m very pleased with it. Let’s make plans for the future as we agreed’.
‘Okay. I have already started implementing my plan. I have told my parents about you, and my plan. They have accepted it. From this evening, I will spend a lot of time with you, at your house. Now, let’s talk about activities for today’.
By Ekow de Heer
