Obaa Yaa
New girlfriend attracts me more
Dear ObaaYaa,
We were both students in the university and though we read different courses, with time, we later became very close to each other.
The love we developed for each other grew to a stage where we could not resist our inner feelings and she became pregnant. Though embarrassed initially, I gathered courage and pleaded with her to abort the pregnancy since we were in the final year getting ready for the final examination and could not cater for a baby.
Despite her sound religious background, she did not object to my proposal and we aborted the pregnancy, though we were not happy.
Luckily, we completed successfully and l was able to secure a job after the mandatory National Service. She is yet to be employed and we have maintained the friendship till now.
Unfortunately, l am torn between her and another lady l came across in my office whose character has appealed to me and l would like to marry her instead of my former girlfriend.
What do you have to say about my decision?
Paul, Accra.
Dear Paul,
You have been in a relationship with this lady from the time you were in the university and have admitted that you went through interesting moments and took unfavourable decisions. The decision, I believe was to safeguard your interest and protect your future.
Having come this far, it will be inappropriate for you to snub this lady and marry a- new-found lover.
Abortion has rendered some women barren for life and they will continue to blame themselves for their inability to reject the decision to abort.
Should this first lady become barren, you will not know peace in your marriage and she willnot also be happy.
But if you marry her, both of you can device an alternative means of solving the problem.
Since two persons cannot be the same, try to tolerate your first lover and marry her.
Obaa Yaa
I am sexually attracted to children
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man residing in Tamale. I am 40 years old and I have got my own business which is going on successfully.
The nature of my job had made me richer and am able to afford anything that I want.
My only problem is that I need a partner but I don’t fall in love with matured women. I am attracted to children.
I have had an encounter with so many women who are ‘marriage materials and type’ but none of them touch my heart.
In my previous relationship, the girl I dated was 15 years. She took me as a big brother but to me she was my lover.
Now that she is 22 and I can marry her, I have lost interest in her.
Obaa Yaa, what do you think is actually wrong with me? Is it normal? How can I have a partner if I continue to feel this way?
Dabo, Tamale.
Dear Dabo,
I don’t even know how to start this conversation. It is not everything that your heart desires that you should go for.
You need to understand that your desire for children sexually is criminal under the laws of this land so it should not be entertained.
I suggest you seek the assistance of psychologist to advise you or else you might end up in jail.
You might be suffering from pedophilia which is a condition of being sexually attracted to children. You need psychiatric help.
I suggest you also speak to your pastors to help you in prayers, in case it might be spiritual.
Obaa Yaa
The banker deceived me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a banker who told me he wasn’t married and therefore, wanted to marry me.
We started going out and spending time together. He went to the extent of going to see my parents for the engagement list.
It was only after I got pregnant when he confessed he was already married and could not afford to marry me as a second wife.
The problem is that for the past five years, this man has refused to provide for the upkeep of the child.
He is not showing any commitments towards the child and making things difficult for me.
I am currently finding it difficult to take care of the child’s feeding and clothing.
My child is very brilliant at school and my fear is that I cannot give him the best of education since I am not working.
Prisca, Dodowa.
Dear Prisca,
Your story is a sad and unfortunate one. He just ‘toyed’ with you and was successful.
It’s about time women check about the men who propose to them.
And in the first place, why were you intimate with him, knowing very well that you were not married?
Report the matter to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, formerly known as Women and Juvenile Unit (WAJU) immediately.
They would summon him and question him about the upkeep of his child and employ legal means to make him accept responsibility for the child.
