Obaa Yaa
New girlfriend attracts me more
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Dear ObaaYaa,
We were both students in the university and though we read different courses, with time, we later became very close to each other.
The love we developed for each other grew to a stage where we could not resist our inner feelings and she became pregnant. Though embarrassed initially, I gathered courage and pleaded with her to abort the pregnancy since we were in the final year getting ready for the final examination and could not cater for a baby.
Despite her sound religious background, she did not object to my proposal and we aborted the pregnancy, though we were not happy.
Luckily, we completed successfully and l was able to secure a job after the mandatory National Service. She is yet to be employed and we have maintained the friendship till now.
Unfortunately, l am torn between her and another lady l came across in my office whose character has appealed to me and l would like to marry her instead of my former girlfriend.
What do you have to say about my decision?
Paul, Accra.
Dear Paul,
You have been in a relationship with this lady from the time you were in the university and have admitted that you went through interesting moments and took unfavourable decisions. The decision, I believe was to safeguard your interest and protect your future.
Having come this far, it will be inappropriate for you to snub this lady and marry a- new-found lover.
Abortion has rendered some women barren for life and they will continue to blame themselves for their inability to reject the decision to abort.
Should this first lady become barren, you will not know peace in your marriage and she willnot also be happy.
But if you marry her, both of you can device an alternative means of solving the problem.
Since two persons cannot be the same, try to tolerate your first lover and marry her.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
