Obaa Yaa
Exchange house with abortion
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been in a relationship close to five years with a married man and have enjoyed every aspect of it. My lover ensured that we both went on trips within and out of the country.
Our relationship took us through interesting moments and during one of our outings, we were nearly caught in our hideout by his wife who attended a seminar at the same hotel we lodged.
Having suffered many insults and embarrassments from his wife, l became pregnant and he impressed on me to abort it in exchange of a house.
Unfortunately, six months after causing the abortion, my lover decided to back out of the relationship with an excuse that l cheated on him and that he would not allow himself to be deceived by me because he had learnt a bitter lesson from the past.
What should l do?
Sarah, Accra.
Dear Sarah,
The challenges you have gone through explain the fact that it is not safe and acceptable to fall in love with somebody’s husband.
The insults, humiliations and disgrace you might have gone through should be enough to convince you to take a definite decision to break up the relationship with this man. It is not advisable to take delight in the support you are receiving from him.
You will never know peace so long as you maintain this unhealthy relationship. This is the time to take control of your life and resist the temptation of falling in love with this gentleman again.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
