Obaa Yaa
Exchange house with abortion
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been in a relationship close to five years with a married man and have enjoyed every aspect of it. My lover ensured that we both went on trips within and out of the country.
Our relationship took us through interesting moments and during one of our outings, we were nearly caught in our hideout by his wife who attended a seminar at the same hotel we lodged.
Having suffered many insults and embarrassments from his wife, l became pregnant and he impressed on me to abort it in exchange of a house.
Unfortunately, six months after causing the abortion, my lover decided to back out of the relationship with an excuse that l cheated on him and that he would not allow himself to be deceived by me because he had learnt a bitter lesson from the past.
What should l do?
Sarah, Accra.
Dear Sarah,
The challenges you have gone through explain the fact that it is not safe and acceptable to fall in love with somebody’s husband.
The insults, humiliations and disgrace you might have gone through should be enough to convince you to take a definite decision to break up the relationship with this man. It is not advisable to take delight in the support you are receiving from him.
You will never know peace so long as you maintain this unhealthy relationship. This is the time to take control of your life and resist the temptation of falling in love with this gentleman again.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
